Round 40I rush to my companion's aid against Binky. Clearly, I need a dual-illusion attack against Binky. I'll not only create illusoinary solid ground, but I'll also create a giant mime on it. Because everybody hates mimes, Binky will attempt to kill it, but then fall through into the frozen water.
1. Reroll. 5+2=6. 6-1=5.
You expertly conjure an image of ground over the river. You then attempt to create an illusion of a mime to lure Binky in. Concentrating with all your might, you summon an immense shadowy figure. You behold his titanic silhouette and despair, bowing before Don Juan, Mime Of The Gods, King Of Kings, Consumer Of Souls! He kneels before you, asking you "What is thy wish, master?" You command him to attack Binky! (+2 xp to Summoning)
Don Juan's effects:
Invisible Wall: +1 to defense
Invisible Autocannon: +1 to attack
Raise elf from dead to become my zombie servant.
1.
(Ouch, man. Sorry.)
You manipulate dark magicks, using your healing powers to attempt to raise the elf from the dead. You succeed, but it turns on you and attacks!
I search far and wide for a physician or cleric or healer of any kind to fix my broken arms that I have conveniently been ignoring until now.
6. You search far and wide for a healer - wait, Nirur's right there. Never mind.
You shout "Hey Nirur, heal me, will you?" He does so. Running up to him to thank him, you come across a grisly scene. A horrifying Great Old One, tentacles flailing, is resurrecting the dead elves! You
freak out.
Throw a pie at Binky's face then use invisibility and run towards town.
4. Using your clown skill, you summon a pie, and attempt to pie Binky. Unfortunately, you miss.
AUTO-SUCCESS: You become invisible and run to the town.
I try to shoot a large fire bolt at Binky.
5+2=6. 6-1=5. You chant ancient eldritch spells, manipulating the very fabric of the universe into a metaphorical textile of fire and blasting Binky full in the face! 6. Binky leans out of the way of the bolt, but falls down and cannot attack this turn.
In that case, I will magnetize Binky's armour.
5. You twist the magnetic fields of Binky's armour to your will! Two iron swords mysteriously appear and launch at him!
6. Binky rolls out of the way, but rolls into a ditch! It will take him another turn to recover.
6. Binky rolls a 6 for the third time, proving that he is the spawn of the devil! He rolls into an even deeper ditch, and will now not be able to attack for three turns total.
I'll try running for the town again, when I arrive, head to the blacksmith and grab, weapons, clothes and armour.
(Naked plate mail is the worst thing ever.)
AUTO-SUCCESS: While Binky is preoccupied being in a ditch, you run away and try to loot the blacksmith's shop.
5. Holy cow! You find SO MUCH PHAT LEWT. You get two
steel breastplates, a
sword of mayoral might, a
steel crossbow of destruction, two
swift iron bolts, two
runed bolts of flame, and a
keen iron knife.
EVENTS
Don Juan roars, miming a gigantic M61 Vulcan! He staggers backward as the immense invisible bullets rip through the air. You swear you can almost see the muzzle flash.
2. Don fires, but to no avail! His shots go wide.
Wait a minute,
Errol and
CJ still need to move. Dangit.
Guys, move and I'll update this post.
Conscript everyone I see in the CITIZEN MILITIA.
1. You run to the town, wanting to start a militia. Delivering a rousing speech to the town, you say "Friends, countrymen, lend me your ears! You may be dead! You may be poorly equipped! You may have no skills whatsoever! But I say that that is no barrier! Let us fight, fight for our country!"
Astounded, two dead peasants and the mayor rise up. And then start attacking you.
Gain my bearings. Fry anything that doesn't smell of PC.
AUTO-SUCCESS: You look around. You are in the Elven Retreat.
So... yeah.
Poll
12 (80%)
Author
Topic: Dungeon crawling delight! Turn 49: Frelock and Relm - team awesome, team useless (Read 128884 times)