I step away from the sword and cast healing on me to stop the bleeding.
2+1=3. You try mightily to heal yourself! You have cured your cancer that you got last turn as a hidden effect and did not know of until now! Wow!
I use my yuri mind control powers to sway the mind of Lord Jabu Jabu and get him to tell me where the boss is.
3. You attempt to sway Lord Jabu Jabu! He is too busy pondering fish.
Ride out to the elven retreat on Peter! The elves shall know my wrath!
4. You charge out to the elven retreat and menace the elves!
I create an illusionary A-Bomb blast high above the town.
5+2=6-1=5. LOLOLOLOLOLOL
Hey, isn't it weird that the rolls have been 2-3-4-5? Random.org is weird.
You summon an immense illusion above the town of an atomic bomb detonating. Explosions sound and buildings appear to shake as the flaming blast echoes throughout the town. ALL NPCS IN THE TOWN DIE FROM FRIGHT. Vlynndar has
soiled himself. The town is yours to loot! Destroy! Kill! Revel in the bodies of the dead! +2xp.
Charismatically persuade the earth beneath me to become a floating rock throne to maneuvre around to my bidding!
PULLING RIDICULOUS SHIT: AUTO-SUCCESS
Errol tells the earth to move around and become a floating rock throne! He rides around making silly fart noises for a while.
Attempt to slit their throats
You attack! 3+1(adept)+1(invisible now)=5. You sneak up on elf 1 and strike powerfully with your dagger! The elf tries to dodge: 1-1(invis)=1. You slice the elf's jugular clean through. He has
massive bleeding!
Use lightning to summon Gene Wilder, and have him use HIS lightning to summon Peter Boyle from the dead.
2+1(powers)-2(difficulty)=1. You summon lightning from the heavens, roaring like a Norse god! You are struck by lightning. You are
badly burned and have
heart arrhythmia.
Eat own poo
As you've already soiled yourself, you figure further indignities won't hurt. You eat your own fetid fecal matter. It tastes terrible. You now have a
crippling stomachache and a
poop-smeared face.
Elves:
Elven Guard 1 attacks Phazer: 1-2+1(swordsman)=1. He rethinks his action and stabs himself instead, embracing death's sweet, sweet promise of peace.
Elven Guard 2 attacks CJ! 4+1(swordsman)=5. He delivers a leaping stab; CJ attempts to dodge. 1-2(burned)=1. CJ dodges right into the sword and skewers himself on the blade! CJ is
heavily bleeding.
Events:
The hand realizes that it can't starve - it's a zombie! It had been training in the mountains. The training was so intense that it had hallucinated starving to death.
The hand sets out on an epic quest to find a body. But not just any body; he wants a body truly worthy of such a mighty appendage. Signing to a barman, he tells him his wishes. The barman tells the hand, El Matador, that there is a legendary necromancer who lives in the mountains. Surely he will be able to reanimate such a high-level corpse... but there's also the problem of finding one. The greatest hero in the realm is the legendary Captain Ironblood. If the hand can kill him, and find the necromancer, the hand will once again be unto a god.
The hand adventures into a nearby town. He meets a kobold, and commences his attack! 6-1(natural zombie hand overkill immunity)=5. The hand rises into the air, grabs the kobold by the neck, and smashes it against the floor, beating the everloving tobacco juice out of it! In fact, as kobold chunks fly off into neighboring countries, the hand smashes the very ground open. He discovers a cache of loot! He finds a
+1 sword of necromancy, a
ring of greater telekinesis, and a
artifact elf bone gauntlet of shielding! O frabjous day!
Poll
12 (80%)
Author
Topic: Dungeon crawling delight! Turn 49: Frelock and Relm - team awesome, team useless (Read 128973 times)