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Author Topic: Your most SCREWED Survivors...  (Read 5044 times)

Crossroads Inc.

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Your most SCREWED Survivors...
« on: April 09, 2009, 10:47:11 am »

We've all seen the battle scarred vets, missing hands, limbs, mauled by bear... By some.. some just have worse luck..

Recently after a perticullary fierce siege... I saw the following on an Axdwarf...

"Spine: (red)
"Lower spine: (red)

=

SCREWED
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Ask not what the Dwarfs can do for you...
But ask.... why are they drunk all the time?

Deadmeat1471

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Re: Your most SCREWED Survivors...
« Reply #1 on: April 09, 2009, 11:22:16 am »

Heh, DF is just a wealth of excellence.
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Hectonkhyres

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Re: Your most SCREWED Survivors...
« Reply #2 on: April 09, 2009, 11:33:57 am »

I had a dwarf that was missing his brain. I'm still trying to figure that one out.
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And now the thread is about starfish porn.
...originally read that as 'perpetual motion pants' and thought how could I have missed this??

woose1

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Re: Your most SCREWED Survivors...
« Reply #3 on: April 09, 2009, 11:36:30 am »

The first degree wound (Scratched) and the second degree wound (Lopped off) look very similiar.

And dwarves don't need brains, yo. Not when they have DWARVEN LOGIC.
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Qwernt

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Re: Your most SCREWED Survivors...
« Reply #4 on: April 09, 2009, 11:42:27 am »

I had a Dwarf whos only problem was a left lung, the problem was he didn't think he was hurt enough to go rest - even after I disabled all jobs and enlisted him/delisted... he just kept walking around fainting thinking everything was hunkydory.
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Crossroads Inc.

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Re: Your most SCREWED Survivors...
« Reply #5 on: April 09, 2009, 11:53:54 am »

On the flip side of thinsg I once  had a Dwarf RECOVER from a brain injury... It was marked as yellow and he spent almost two years in bed.. One day I foudn the bed empty and he was off minning rocks like nothing happend.

On the lung thing, Ive had that happend to, a Hammer dwarf was injured in a raid and he lost his riggt lung... After everything else he healed he got up and started walking around, even though hes missing a lung./
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Ask not what the Dwarfs can do for you...
But ask.... why are they drunk all the time?

Hectonkhyres

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Re: Your most SCREWED Survivors...
« Reply #6 on: April 09, 2009, 12:17:57 pm »

On the flip side of thinsg I once  had a Dwarf RECOVER from a brain injury... It was marked as yellow and he spent almost two years in bed.. One day I foudn the bed empty and he was off minning rocks like nothing happend.
Obviously a purring maggot crawled inside his cranium and is controlling him by pulling on his dendrites. Purring maggots later evolved into Goa'uld as seen in the Stargate franchise, after all.

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And now the thread is about starfish porn.
...originally read that as 'perpetual motion pants' and thought how could I have missed this??

Rysith

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Re: Your most SCREWED Survivors...
« Reply #7 on: April 09, 2009, 12:21:17 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

He didn't actually survive, but he did live long enough after that picture to kill an axe lord and not actually die until quite a while after passing out surrounded by sword and axe champions.
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Lanternwebs: a community fort
Try my orc mod!
The OP deserves the violent Dwarven equivalent of the Nobel Peace Prize.

kotekzot

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Re: Your most SCREWED Survivors...
« Reply #8 on: April 09, 2009, 01:31:47 pm »

one of my dwarves was toughing out a lost lung, too. he seemed unfazed by it, being superdwarvenly tough.
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Dwarf Fortress: Where violent death is a renewable resource
Bro, your like... thinking like a square man... its like, the WHOLE lamprey is just like, one big NECK dude, you know? its like hahahaha! dude protect the trees though, seriously. *inhale*... anyways... you like, want this dead black bear, bro?

vagel7

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Re: Your most SCREWED Survivors...
« Reply #9 on: April 09, 2009, 01:47:05 pm »

i have a dwarf who had everything mangled off exept hes head,upperbody and lowerbody,after 7 years of being in bed(head,lowerbody and upperbody were red),he is now grawling around and has a grand tomb in my fort,a grand room.

What he did was that he held off a goblin siege with 2 other dwarves.
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That last gobbo would stand there, missing an arm, punctured in a kidney, liver, and spleen, fading in and out of consciousness at the far end of where the drawbridge would go, and his last sight would be the drawbridge dropping down and smashing him like a bug.

God DAMN I love this game!

Skorpion

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Re: Your most SCREWED Survivors...
« Reply #10 on: April 09, 2009, 01:59:48 pm »

Well, I had Blinky for a while, with moderate brain damage, a broken head, a missing eye, and a mangled lung.
She rested for a couple of years, and the head healed. She continued to stagger around injured.
Stumpy from the same fort lost a leg at the hip.

So far in my current fort, I've had two 'survivors', with broken spines. Anyone else has just died, or got knocked into a pond and drowned.
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The *large serrated steel disk* strikes the Raven in the head, tearing apart the muscle, shattering the skull, and tearing apart the brain!
A tendon in the skull has been torn!
The Raven has been knocked unconcious!

Elves do it in trees. Humans do it in wooden structures. Dwarves? Dwarves do it underground. With magma.

ThtblovesDF

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Re: Your most SCREWED Survivors...
« Reply #11 on: April 09, 2009, 02:59:59 pm »

After my first battle (summer of first year, orc mod).

My bridges (with pressure traps, I dont use the stone/weapon, to easy) failed because the orcs where to light, so I had to fight 2 Orc squads (like 14 orcs) with my 7 dwarfs - untrained, unarmed, only 2 axes as weapons and there fists.

Surprisingly I made the orcs run and even had 4 guys left - 3 crippled beyond belive and one guy perfectly fine with a bloody axe in his hand.

Now I am wondering whos worse off, the wounded guys, crying in there bed, throwing tantrums or the guy who has to take care of 3 angry, wounded dwarfs.
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Wild Goose

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Re: Your most SCREWED Survivors...
« Reply #12 on: April 09, 2009, 03:16:23 pm »

Hmm...I recently had one of my original seven wounded in a raid.  Had a yellow right upper arm and shoulder, and a red left upper arm, and a bolt sticking out of the lower right arm (which I yanked out).
Now, the weird thing is, he/she is just sitting there with "No Job".  Another dwarf got carried off to rest, but this one is just lying there.  The other Dwarves bring water (and presumably food?), but they don't carry her off.

Even weirder, a few days after the battle, I checked up on the dwarf, and the lower right arm wound was gone.  I think she healed through sheer dwarfish grit.
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"Adventurer's Motto; Take everything not nailed down and nail down whoever tries to stop you."

"Whatever happens, we have got the ballista and they have not."

The dwarven economy is just a stand-in, from what I understand. As it is, it represents an actual economic system about as well as poison ivy represents a salad.

jockmo42

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Re: Your most SCREWED Survivors...
« Reply #13 on: April 09, 2009, 03:20:46 pm »

Oh, I thought this thread was for survivors of horrible accidents. Like magma floods.

I remember being :P with a magma pipe and my entire fortress being flooded. As the magma poured in, most of the dwarves locked themselves in the main dining room. As magma seeped down the hallway, Urist McFuckingawesomepants decides he's too good to die with the rest of these shmucks. So he vaults over a few tables to the door, flings it open and runs down the hall, nearly igniting himself. Of course, the other dwarves take a cue and follow, only to be engulfed in the molten rock that had barely reached the door. Magma, dwarves, burning. Urist gets away without a scratch, only to close himself off in the Mayor's room. His corpse still remains, a testament to the power of one dwarf to screw everyone else with a really dumb idea.

Hyndis

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Re: Your most SCREWED Survivors...
« Reply #14 on: April 09, 2009, 04:57:47 pm »

Brain damaged.
Broken spine.
Left arm missing at the shoulder.
Right hand missing.
Left leg missing at the hip.
Right leg missing at the knee.



Urist McVegetable is used to tragedy.
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