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Author Topic: Lamest artifact ever  (Read 5624 times)

Aspgren

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Re: Lamest artifact ever
« Reply #45 on: April 11, 2009, 07:27:05 pm »

The only one admiring the quern will be the dead.  >:(

It'd be funny if you could have the ghost of the creator work that quern 24/7. The haunted quern.

but there is nothing to mill in the crypts ...  :o!!
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The crossbow squad, 'The Bolts of Fleeing' wouldn't even show up.
I have an art blog now.

TheDJ17

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Re: Lamest artifact ever
« Reply #46 on: April 11, 2009, 07:31:15 pm »

My first sucsessful artifact creation was a LEGNDARY BUCKET called ARSE AFT ARRBYS or something like that.
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Mister Thou

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Re: Lamest artifact ever
« Reply #47 on: April 11, 2009, 08:22:28 pm »

but there is nothing to mill in the crypts ...  :o!!

There should be plenty of bones for making bonemeal. If this isn't possible, it should be.
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Noctune9

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Re: Lamest artifact ever
« Reply #48 on: April 13, 2009, 05:28:20 am »

The first artifact I ever got was a floodgate made out of turtle bone, from a single turtle.

Massive 'wat' ensured.
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Mount

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Re: Lamest artifact ever
« Reply #49 on: April 13, 2009, 10:05:31 am »

The first artifact I ever got was a floodgate made out of turtle bone, from a single turtle.

Massive 'wat' ensured.
It was wafer-thin!

IceShade

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Re: Lamest artifact ever
« Reply #50 on: April 13, 2009, 12:15:17 pm »



52800 value. For a freaking hatchcover.

Man.
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Time Kitten

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Re: Lamest artifact ever
« Reply #51 on: April 13, 2009, 12:35:15 pm »

Um, dude, what is up with you people?  Make that hatch cover the opening from your king's bedroom to thrown room, put that bucket in a well in the hub of your barracks/infirmary section.

Furniture is useful, even if it just increases room value and lets your king live in a 3x3 room. or makes dwarfs instantly ecstatic for just waling past it.
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IceShade

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Re: Lamest artifact ever
« Reply #52 on: April 13, 2009, 12:48:44 pm »

I have no room for this crap. All my -useful- noble's rooms are packed with artifact statues, chests, cabinets, thrones, etc, too.

I could use plenty of artifact weaponry and armor though  ;D

Edit: Statues, chests, cabinets, thrones, tables, beds, and all that *useful* furniture is always welcome. Hatch covers, millstones, querns.. what's the point?
« Last Edit: April 13, 2009, 12:55:34 pm by IceShade »
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Haven

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Re: Lamest artifact ever
« Reply #53 on: April 13, 2009, 03:03:20 pm »

The only one admiring the quern will be the dead.  >:(

It'd be funny if you could have the ghost of the creator work that quern 24/7. The haunted quern.

but there is nothing to mill in the crypts ...  :o!!

The souls of the damned demand to be ground into flour! Soul Flour!

I'm not sure that I have a real entry for useless artifacts, but I do have a recent disappointment. Gem Cutter picked up a possession, and demanded some rough color. All right, I thought to myself. And promptly found lots of not gems, throughout the mountain. Finally, I made do, and came out with a single-decor, Rock Crystal Idol.
« Last Edit: April 13, 2009, 03:07:34 pm by Haven »
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IceShade

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Re: Lamest artifact ever
« Reply #54 on: April 13, 2009, 03:26:30 pm »

The only one admiring the quern will be the dead.  >:(

It'd be funny if you could have the ghost of the creator work that quern 24/7. The haunted quern.

but there is nothing to mill in the crypts ...  :o!!

The souls of the damned demand to be ground into flour! Soul Flour!

I'm not sure that I have a real entry for useless artifacts, but I do have a recent disappointment. Gem Cutter picked up a possession, and demanded some rough color. All right, I thought to myself. And promptly found lots of not gems, throughout the mountain. Finally, I made do, and came out with a single-decor, Rock Crystal Idol.

So much for the crystal glass! At least that would have been useful :P

And woop, we have a very expensive.. drum! Crazy dwarves.
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ZomBuster

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Re: Lamest artifact ever
« Reply #55 on: April 13, 2009, 05:08:04 pm »

I had this boring obisidan hatch cover with spikes (also obsidian) and then some dwarf made a leather quiver with a picture of the hatchcover... (picture was made of leather)
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IceShade

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Re: Lamest artifact ever
« Reply #56 on: April 15, 2009, 12:05:29 pm »

I just had a mechanic take over a mechanics workshop.. and since you can only make one item there.. hmm.

Artifact mechanism! Shame he got possessed. Could have used a legendary mechanic.
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Teferi

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Re: Lamest artifact ever
« Reply #57 on: April 15, 2009, 12:27:44 pm »

how's this for lame:

Ulabasmel Vel Laluth, "squirtedmerchant the Lines of Flooding". A rope weed chausse.

This is a rope weed chausse. all craftdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is decorated with rope weed and encircled with bands of rope weed. it is made from rope weed cloth. the thread is emerald with Emerald dye. this object menaces with spikes of rope weed.
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I think it'd be better to just throw him in a pit.
By pit I mean "ledge designated as pit some 30 levels above the ground water magma" and that would,as they say be the end of that.
Unless a sword/axedwarf gets to 'em.. then it's rhesus pieces...

Remalle

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Re: Lamest artifact ever
« Reply #58 on: April 15, 2009, 12:40:17 pm »

A what?
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IceShade

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Re: Lamest artifact ever
« Reply #59 on: April 15, 2009, 12:47:57 pm »

Some kind of leg guard. I thought they were only made of metal and such, but apparently the dwarves can also make em out of cloth!
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