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[Dr. Johbson]

Do tell how that happened.

Throat injuries while sparring. They sufforcated to death, drowning in their own blood.
I think it might be four now, due to a recent fatality.

The axe is not for them. It is meant for The Chosen, sent forth to rid the entire world of elves, and circles. But mainly elves. They, obvoiusly, are not The Chosen. They will bleed the blood that must spill for The Chosen to be born. Their fates are envyed, as even the most meager sacrafice for The Chosen is worth their petty lifes.

[Lord_Shadow]

Its a native copper door, encircled in bands of native copper, it menaces with spikes of native copper.
1200... really?!?

[Ultimuh]

Not really the lamest.. since a CHILD made it moments before entering my mess hall for the first time. (I dunno its worth tough)


Rakusnitem Oshot Tusung, Tombvision the Vanishment of Conjuring
This is a Alunite harp. All craftdwarfship is of the highest quality.
It is decorated with groundhog bone. This object menaces with spikes of Alunite.
On the item is an image of a mule in Alunite.


It must be pretty awesome in the eyes of a child.
Something tells me that this child might become a Heavy-Metal Bard  (or something similar) one day. 

Edit: almost forgot the name.

[Marko]

Not exactly sure how... but one of my dwarfs made a bucket out of Blue Garnet, with a wooden handle... I'm still stumped every time I see a dwarf running around with it when filling something up with water.

[kotekzot]

blanchskewer the griffon of ambiguity, a chestnut crown
this is a chestnut crown. all craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. it is decorated with chestnut.
yep, that's right. it doesn't even menace with spikes of anything. it a wooden crown decorated with wood. no images of elephants murdering everything, no uncomfortable spikes. it's something an elf would make for armor's sake!
oh, it also costs 2400 dorfbucks. it was made by one of my farmers. i guess farmers are closet elves.

[Opirian]

Im not sure if these are actually lame or what not but here are the first 3 artifacts (in reverse order) from my fort from 3 moody dwarfs. Haven't had a moody one since. (I'm running Civ Forge FYI)


Value: ☼57600


Value: ☼9600 (It currently sits in the leader of the forts bedroom [yup I kick him out at the rise of a new leader])


Value: ☼4800 (Damn this thing is useless)

[Axe27]

Let me tell you: Never give your champions artifact weapons. They will spar with them, and tear your military apart. I mean, my champion cut one guy clean in half, and removed two arms, and a leg from a military before I stopped him.

[Skorpion]

Do tell how that happened.

Throat injuries while sparring. They sufforcated to death, drowning in their own blood.
I think it might be four now, due to a recent fatality.

The axe is not for them. It is meant for The Chosen, sent forth to rid the entire world of elves, and circles. But mainly elves. They, obvoiusly, are not The Chosen. They will bleed the blood that must spill for The Chosen to be born. Their fates are envyed, as even the most meager sacrafice for The Chosen is worth their petty lifes.

Makes sense to me. Now I have to find a way of getting the guy to train in axes and pick the damn thing up when he IS trained.

Of course, now I have a goblin bone war hammer, pig iron chain mail, and a goblin bone puzzlebox.

I think my fort is heading to be renowned as a world center of genocide.

[kuribo]

this speaks for itself, what the hell am I gonna do with this?

[Skorpion]

this speaks for itself, what the hell am I gonna do with this?

Make it into a nice shiney lever in the main corridor for people to admire.

[Aspgren]

this speaks for itself, what the hell am I gonna do with this?

Traps. I once had a Sheriff who loved traps so I gave him a stonefall trap in his room. He loved it! It always said "Admired a fine trap lately" ... but then his dog was killed by it and I had it removed.

[IceShade]

He claimed a mason's workshop (a good sign! Furniture!). He used leather, stone, uncut gems, cut gems, and bones (another good sign! Lots of stuff, high quality!).

.. and then a quern. A really expensive quern. Even that one stone 2400 dwarfbuck door is more useful than this. I've dumped the thing in the creator's tomb. May it rot in hell with him.

[TettyNullus]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

He claimed a mason's workshop (a good sign! Furniture!). He used leather, stone, uncut gems, cut gems, and bones (another good sign! Lots of stuff, high quality!).

.. and then a quern. A really expensive quern. Even that one stone 2400 dwarfbuck door is more useful than this. I've dumped the thing in the creator's tomb. May it rot in hell with him.

And have it grind all the time in mockery of the creator? 

[IceShade]

The only one admiring the quern will be the dead. 

It'd be funny if you could have the ghost of the creator work that quern 24/7. The haunted quern.

[LordDemon]

I think the habit of adding spikes into object they create/decorate is what makes the dwarfs to stand out of the rest of the races.

"This is a cave spider silk chair cushion. The item menaces with steel spikes.
On the Item is a picture of dwarf and cushion in Gold. The dwarf is jumping up form the cushion holding his ass and shouting loudly."