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[FoboslC]

[Atlas]

Sounds both expensive and useless.
Do enhancements with a fire resistant material make the object fire resistant?

[SolarShado]

i doubt it

[Skorpion]

Well, I once got an aluminium battle axe. Which was worth a huge amount, but it's ALUMINIUM. It's too light to do damage.
The dorfs, however, think it's incredible. That fort was full of engravings of it. And my next fort in that world has engravings of it.

Then they came out with a giant cave spider silk dress. Then a rope reed short skirt. And a steel left gauntlet. A copper buckler. An iron battle axe that nobody can use because it's fucking dangerous to train with. It's killed three dwarves BY ACCIDENT.

[Wahad]

Do tell how that happened.

[Karadan]

I believe my first artifact ever was a turtle shell weapon rack.  I know now that it would have been useful if I had lasted long enough to get very demanding nobles, but as I got caught unprepared by a goblin ambushing party, it really was quite useless in the end.

[Slinkyfest]

Eh, I just slapped all the singles (boots, gloves, gauntlets, etc) on my sheriff. It cant hurt, and I would rather have him look funny than be 1 handed or 1 footed.

[pushy]

Do tell how that happened.

Deaths caused by sparring accidents, obviously. With training you want to use weapons that are as weak as possible (standard quality and made out of something like silver ideally, as it's a 50% damage multiplier), while for actual combat you want to use weapons that are as strong as possible

Sounds both expensive and useless.
Do enhancements with a fire resistant material make the object fire resistant?

No. All that matters is the base material the item is made of.

[Volfram]

Lid Akest, the Tightnesses of Dominating, a Granite quern

I'm not going to comment on the name there, but it sounds like a bondage implement.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

That's funny, right?

[Aspgren]

Lamest artifact?
Ever heard of "The TurtleShell Idol" ? That one's mine. I posted it under stories on the dwarf fortress wiki.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

There was a dwarf known as "Treehugger Bristlewhipped." He was called "Treehugger" for he was such a gentle and kind dwarf. Very generous and immodest.
One day Treehugger was caught by a peculiar mood. He went into a craftdwarvshop and began bringing in various materials.. he worked like a mad man for several days and emerged with a turtleshell idol! It was called... "Treehugger Bristlewhipped."
None of the dwarves knew what to say. The ones before Treehugger had produced ornate shields, high quality weapon racks and perfect jewels.
Treehugger had made a self portrait.
As if things weren't bad enough Treehugger explained the idol. He had encrusted it with Lace agate, decorated it with goblin bone and encircled it with bands of Lace agate. The idol menaced with spikes of turtle shell and carried the images of diamonds and many-pointed stars in iron.

Even to this day when a dwarf is asked WHERE the spikes and decorations were located they simply change the subject. Only in our dreams shall we know what this piece really looks like ... if you can remember it when you wake up screaming.

http://dwarf.lendemaindeveille.com/index.php/Stories#The_turtle_shell_Idol

Value: ¤21600

[GenericOverusedName]

I tend to get a depressingly large amount of worthless idols or rings or the like. Guess I need to train more people in weaponmaking...

[Skorpion]

Do tell how that happened.

Throat injuries while sparring. They sufforcated to death, drowning in their own blood.
I think it might be four now, due to a recent fatality.

[Lesconrads]

I now have a millstone , a bucket etcetc -_-... ah - and my bone-longsword.

But to you and your impressive weapon: catch yourself some goblins and let him train on those

[Shad0wyone]

Well, I got a goblin bone spiked ball, have yet to decide what to do with it, maybe put it into a weapon trap, I wonder how much damage it will do.

[Skorpion]

Well, I got a goblin bone spiked ball, have yet to decide what to do with it, maybe put it into a weapon trap, I wonder how much damage it will do.

Probably a surprising amount, due to quality. Put it in your entrance, so they shall know the fate of anyone who happens to mess with the dwarves.
'Look out! It's a trap!'
"OH MY GOD! That's Billy! They made him into a trap!"