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[Village_Idiot]

Oh, I do get noble couples, I just don't manage to get them to last 13 years.  I normally give up on forts before that

Why would they have to last 13 years? Children pop out every year and with an utility like dwarf manager they can be great pump/siege operators, haulers, or basiscly anything!

[Mister Thou]

I've guess some forts have different fertility rates than others.

One of my champion marksdwarves had 17 children before the my fortress had been around twenty years (not even one of the starting 7), and would have had more had I not disabled children in the init file. I had set my cap to 50 dwarves and ended up with about 120 total, plus about 10 children that had been abducted. I had more children than adults, even without counting the abductees. All this was from only four or five couples, except for some migrant children.

Incidentally, the marksdwarf's title was "The Crystalline Innocence of Loving" which I thought was pretty funny.

[Saer]

I had Elven traders come at the same time as those monkey things, I forget what they are called.
But I thought the monkeys were their pets or something, so I let them through.
They then stole a bunch of crap from me, and I was like >=O afterward. Those dirty elves...
I think I am going to kill them next time I see these elves...

[ProfessorA]

I had Elven traders come at the same time as those monkey things, I forget what they are called.
But I thought the monkeys were their pets or something, so I let them through.
They then stole a bunch of crap from me, and I was like >=O afterward. Those dirty elves...
I think I am going to kill them next time I see these elves...

Rhe-sus-Ma-caque

[TheDJ17]

I had Elven traders come at the same time as those monkey things, I forget what they are called.
But I thought the monkeys were their pets or something, so I let them through.
They then stole a bunch of crap from me, and I was like >=O afterward. Those dirty elves...
I think I am going to kill them next time I see these elves...

Rhe-sus-Ma-caque

To be fair that is A LOT of hyphens.

[Mount]

I had Elven traders come at the same time as those monkey things, I forget what they are called.
But I thought the monkeys were their pets or something, so I let them through.
They then stole a bunch of crap from me, and I was like >=O afterward. Those dirty elves...
I think I am going to kill them next time I see these elves...

Rhe-sus-Ma-caque

Unless a sword/axedwarf gets to 'em.. then it's rhesus pieces...

[Smew]

I had Elven traders come at the same time as those monkey things, I forget what they are called.
But I thought the monkeys were their pets or something, so I let them through.
They then stole a bunch of crap from me, and I was like >=O afterward. Those dirty elves...
I think I am going to kill them next time I see these elves...

Rhe-sus-Ma-caque

Unless a sword/axedwarf gets to 'em.. then it's rhesus pieces...

I should really sig that, but I refuse on the grounds that... well, I have no grounds, but I just refuse.

[Tradanbattlan]

I had Elven traders come at the same time as those monkey things, I forget what they are called.
But I thought the monkeys were their pets or something, so I let them through.
They then stole a bunch of crap from me, and I was like >=O afterward. Those dirty elves...
I think I am going to kill them next time I see these elves...

Rhe-sus-Ma-caque

Unless a sword/axedwarf gets to 'em.. then it's rhesus pieces...

I should really sig that, but I refuse on the grounds that... well, I have no grounds, but I just refuse.

Smew cancels React To Pun: In a fey mood.

[Smew]

I had Elven traders come at the same time as those monkey things, I forget what they are called.
But I thought the monkeys were their pets or something, so I let them through.
They then stole a bunch of crap from me, and I was like >=O afterward. Those dirty elves...
I think I am going to kill them next time I see these elves...

Rhe-sus-Ma-caque

Unless a sword/axedwarf gets to 'em.. then it's rhesus pieces...

I should really sig that, but I refuse on the grounds that... well, I have no grounds, but I just refuse.

Smew cancels React To Pun: In a fey mood.

I present to you, this!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

A blank space, because I had no materials to work with.

[Nerserus]

I have a Lizardman who detests lizards. OH THE IRONY!

[Phazer]

wow must be funny to hate youreself or find youreself disgusting

[Mister Thou]

not really

[Phazer]

well couldnt say i was too serious and if you find youreself disgusting you maybe should visit a psychian or whatever you call it

[FaultyLogic]

On an old fort of mine, there was a dragon attack. A few dwarves were milling about outside when it happened, and I quickly ordered everyone inside. Watching with excitement as the dragon approached my defences, I saw that one dwarf had remained behind the others. It was my expedition leader. She had sentimental value, as she was married to the awesome clerk and was pretty awesome herself.

She was standing on a clifftop, watching the last of the other dwarves run into the fort entrance below her. The dragon rushed towards her. She stood frozen at the same spot while my excitement turned into horror. The dragon ran up on the cliff and spewed a cone of firey death towards the dwarf, wich suddenly turned and lept of the opposite end of the cliff, just barely evading the dragonbreath. Quickly, she ran into the fort with the dragon close behind. Here ends the epicness, as a dwarven caravan guard runs out to meet the dragon and kills it single-handedly.

[geoduck]

I just had my first dragon attack. I say "attack", but when I found the dragon at the very edge of the world, and looKed at it, the description included the word "Unconscious". Huh? Sure enough, it had taken an eye injury and was down. There were no dwarfs nearby, so the only thing I can figure is that one of my catapult-operators must have gotten off a (ahem) million-to-one lucky shot while practicing. (The dragon wasn't even on the same Z-level as the 'pult, but was near the edge of the area where many of the practice rocks pile up..)
I mobilized my entire army, dashed them out to the site, and they beat the dragon to death without taking a scratch.