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[Nerserus]

Literally, i was listening to offspring ( i think they pwn ) it went on hammerhead, a song about war...Suddenly A VILE FORCE OF DARKNESS HAS ARRIVED, this happened at the exact same time the part about war started...Wow, at the EXACT same time. So i'm gonna battle them to it

[Shurikane]

While working on the external decorations of Liontower, I had a goblin siege spring up while about a dozen of my dwarves were outside.  Figuring they were done for, I drafted them all, bunched them up together and waited for the raiding party.  Sure enough, the dwarves run and do battle, poor little recruits that they are

Then out of nowhere, one of the dorfs decides to run away from the battle.  He has no wounds at all!  So he runs, runs, runs, all around my fortress, to the opposite wall, back south towards the entrance, into the main corridor, and back to safety.

Meanwhile, the rest of the improvised squad gets completely slaughtered.

My fleeing dwarf was the only survivor of the onslaught.  He didn't need a drink or any sort of food.  I have no clue what pushed him to hightail it and do a lap around my fort.

I made a burial chamber just for him.

[Tradanbattlan]

This was a sound related thing.
My little brother starts playing 'Never Gonna Give You Up' and things get REALLY bad.
I finished digging a moat, but even though the water is flowing (siphoned from a river) they dont drink from it.
Instead, they ALL go far downstream right into a large group of carp.
All of them lose both arms exept for the Trader who died, right as Rick Astley goes 'NEVA GONNA GIVE YOU UP. NEVA GONNA LET YOU DOWN'.
The miners bled to death, carpenter still lives, farmer and ranger are in bed.

[Simmura McCrea]

Another sound related one - I was heading into a big mountainous area when iTunes on random decided to play Shelob's Lair from the Return of the King soundtrack. Guess what I found.

[Tallefred]

I just had a mother jump into a pond while holding her baby in her arms, with her other kid standing on the shore watching. The baby drowns, the mother is still hanging in there, and the second kid just walks away. Saw him later, he had lost a mother and sibling lately, but was still happy.

[Aspgren]

While working on the external decorations of Liontower, I had a goblin siege spring up while about a dozen of my dwarves were outside.  Figuring they were done for, I drafted them all, bunched them up together and waited for the raiding party.  Sure enough, the dwarves run and do battle, poor little recruits that they are

Then out of nowhere, one of the dorfs decides to run away from the battle.  He has no wounds at all!  So he runs, runs, runs, all around my fortress, to the opposite wall, back south towards the entrance, into the main corridor, and back to safety.

Meanwhile, the rest of the improvised squad gets completely slaughtered.

My fleeing dwarf was the only survivor of the onslaught.  He didn't need a drink or any sort of food.  I have no clue what pushed him to hightail it and do a lap around my fort.

I made a burial chamber just for him.

He might have been tired. In one of my recent sieges I sent out 2 champions and 1 swordsdwarf to fend off a goblin squad. Easy enough, right? Well turns out I missed a squad that came from the mountains. 1 champion is off doing whatever and the other 2 have to fight on their own, they obliterate the squad but they're a bit tired.
The champion who was doing whatever arrives, sees that there's no need to help out and takes a nap. The second goblin squad attacks him and cuts him to ribbons. So what happens? The swordsdwarf attacks the squad head on and kills 2 gobbos ... the surviving champion is weary and runs away, leaving her ally to die at the hands of goblins.

She didn't go to bed afterwards, not for some time .. so maybe your dorf was just weary from something. Like cutting trees, operating pumps, mining .. and wanted to go "on break" just that since he's a soldier his status doesn't say "on break" it merely says "soldier" and that was that.

I don't see why you're rewarding him though. I punished my champion by stripping her off her weapons, armor and shield and forcing her to duel a captured goblin hammerlord for her place in the fortress. She snapped his elbow and then snapped his neck.
She has been honorably re-assigned to my army! 

[geoduck]

In the fortress I had a Ranger dwarf out hunting. I suddenly started getting spammed with messages that he was failing his job due to falling unconscious. I looked at his wounds sheet and he looked fine. Only a few hours later, after getting annoyed at the unconscious message spam, did I realize I had to scroll down on the wounds sheet. Turns out both of the Ranger's eyes were gouged out. He was completely blind and was continually falling over as he groped around the wilderness attempting to hunt.

The same thing just happened with my current fort; the Hunter took damage from some critter in the spine and an eye. I found GM's post while searching the Forum archives for why she kept falling unconscious. (Thanx GM!) She made it back to the fort, has been officially relisted as Invalid, and is at least Happy.

[The Mad Engineer]

In the DF universe, eyes are like a buffer.  If you still have them, you're not dead yet.

[Jackrabbit]

In the DF universe, eyes are like a buffer.  If you still have them, you're not dead yet.

Dead dwarfs the world over disagree

[The Mad Engineer]

As an adventurer in the DF universe, eyes are like a buffer.  If you still have them, you're not dead yet.

Fixed?

[sonerohi]

Just had an epic moment. I'm preparing to designate a forest for clear cutting so as to fuel my steel industry, when all of a sudden, goblin siege. My fort is up 3 levels from the forest, and only about 10 tiles away (steep cliffs). My army of 4 steel and mythril (modded in) clad hammerdwarves prance out to the lip of my fort and proceed to send goblins flying. This forest is extremely dense, you literally will find a tree within 2 tiles of another tree in every direction. The whole siege ended up with broken legs and arms, sitting ontop of these trees. Was an extreme pain in the ass to get rid of them.

[Shoruke]

his one and only relationship is his pet donkey, which still hangs around the hospital all the time pining for its master, who paralyzed himself while trying to kill it.

DF style irony is the very best kind.



My 1/1000000 moment... traders come, I buy stuff, and when they leave they pass by the volcano. BTW this is a desert map, and completely flat. Fire imps jump out and start harassing the wagons, one of the guards (a sordsdorf) kills two of the fire imps after they've lit two of the wagons on fire, then he JUMPS INTO THE VOLCANO, slaughters another fire imp while swimming through magma, and pushes another fire imp off a cliff (still inside the volcano, you understand), it falls one z-level, lands on its head I guess, and dies.

Inside the fort, my trade depot is underground, a couple layers down, and right next to the volcano. When looking at the trade depot, there was a fire imp corpse just on the other side of the obsidian wall.

[Tallefred]

I just had a dwarf get 50 hammer strikes for throwing a tantrum. Best tantrum spiral ever.

I love dwarves justice. It seems to be designed for creating as much chaos as possible.

EDIT: It appears he murdered someone during the tantrum. That explains it. Ah well, never mind.

[kurisukun]

I didn't really particularly care for the Elves that where trading with my fortress.  And I was starting to get tired of it anyway.  They never brought me any animals, and my fortress consisted of SO MANY cage traps, that I was hoping for something more exotic than my 50 wolves/beavers/ etc.

So I decided I would build a merchant destruction room with my trade depot.  It wasn't really anywhere near water, so drowning was out, and magma was too destructive.  Then I realized, I could simply build a bunch of cage traps with goblins, let them slaughter the merchants, and then open the front door, leading them directly into my cage traps to re-use them.  Great training for my goblin arena, and an effective method of taking care of Merchants.

Or so I thought.

The elves show up, and I lock the doors.  They're stuck in there, all alone, with a bunch of sneering cages that are bristling with mechanisms.  And weapons littered about as well.  A click is heard, as a dwarf pulls a lever eleswhere in the fortress.  I sit back to watch the carnage.

The elves didn't survive very long.   However, the Elves animals, specifically, 2 mules and a camel, where less than happy about their predicament.  They then proceeded to kick and bite and destroy every goblin I'd released in there.  24 fully armed goblins vs. 3 animals.  And the animals won, with a full contingent of names.

It was... beautiful... and horrible... all atthe same time.

[sonerohi]

My god... mules and horses are badass critters.