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[Riversand]

this is funny. in this community fort i'm unning, i predesigned the 'core' of my fortress, and well, so fa it seems to be all walled with magnetite ore! rough hewn magnetite walls! and just my luck... i brought no anvil at the start! that's funny.

[Mount]

this is funny. in this community fort i'm unning, i predesigned the 'core' of my fortress, and well, so fa it seems to be all walled with magnetite ore! rough hewn magnetite walls! and just my luck... i brought no anvil at the start! that's funny.

it'd be awesome if magnetite walls could immobilize dwarfs or other critters carrying iron/steel items.. You'd have like, the ultimate siege-proof entrance! (well, unless you got mobbed by a horde of enemies with bronze...)

[kotekzot]

this is funny. in this community fort i'm unning, i predesigned the 'core' of my fortress, and well, so fa it seems to be all walled with magnetite ore! rough hewn magnetite walls! and just my luck... i brought no anvil at the start! that's funny.

it'd be awesome if magnetite walls could immobilize dwarfs or other critters carrying iron/steel items.. You'd have like, the ultimate siege-proof entrance! (well, unless you got mobbed by a horde of enemies with bronze...)

i'd have a nerdgasm if that was possible.

[GenericOverusedName]

Embark on an evil map. I knew there would be undead swamp things lurking about, as well as a possibly exposed chasm. What I didn't know was that there was a cave as well, with one of my modded in megabeasts living in it. Size 60 dragon, with various extra body parts to make it harder to kill. Oh, and it's a skeleton.

Now, I had my usual embark group. 2 dogs, 2 cats, 2 miners, 2 woodcutters/carpenters, 1 farmer, 1 hunter and 1 mason/engraver/architect.

Wagon spawned practically on top of the cave entrance. Everyone runs away immediately, except for the hunter. He wastes all his bolts at a nearby zombie troll, whacks another one upside the head with the crossbow and somehow loses it, then charges at the dragon and RIPS IT APART WITH HIS BARE HANDS. Everyone else is being eaten or on fire, but he's tossing around wings and scales and limbs like no tomorrow. Not only that, but he somehow managed to kill the megabeast without any injuries.

Sadly, a pack of skeletal naked mole dogs took him down afterwards.

Edit: I grammur gud!

[Skelodwarf]

Sadly, a pack skeletal naked mole dogs took him down afterwards.

That's how they get ya!

[Aspgren]

So a kobold walks into my fortress ... and is spotted by EVERYONE.
Kobold avoids 20+ bolts, kobold is attacked by a war dog and has his arm broken, kobold kills war dog, kobold outruns 3 swordsdwarves and about 5 war dogs. Kobold lives to fight another day.

Moody player crushes the remains of bad wardog under drawbridge.

(edit) I forgot to mention. The kobold ran right past 2 cagetraps the bastard.

[forsaken1111]

My 1 in 1,000,000 is more a person than an event.

I had, in a previous fortress, a superdwarvenly tough champion axelord, we will call him Urist McBadass, who had singlehandedly fought off three (non-bow) goblin sieges. One day he was patrolling around some goblin gear (I have to have him patrol near gear before letting people retrieve it due to the frequency of werewolves and undead) and it just so happens he is close enough to the underground pool to notice all the olm-men and frog-men in there.

So of course he shoots off towards them, and I'm thinking "Oh he's going to stand on the shore until they come out to fight". Boy was I wrong...

This dwarf JUMPS INTO THE WATER and finishes killing EVERY SINGLE CREATURE in the pool before he runs out of air. He then climbs back out of the water and goes off to have a light snack, as if this were an everyday thing. To be clear, he managed to slaughter and dismember 7 frog-men, 4 olm-men and one snake-man before he was out of breath, and then he climbed back out of the water. After that he was a 2 skill swimmer.

I gave him his own house on top of the mountain, with his own mountain tomb. He did eventually die...

At some point magma men had climbed out and terrorized my miners who were attempting to set up a magma channel. Urist McBadass notices this as he is chasing a werewolf and runs full-tilt for the two magma men. He kills one really quickly but somehow loses his axe. Can axes get stuck in people? Anyway this didn't deter Mr. McBadass, as he proceeded to WRESTLE A BEING MADE OF MAGMA. He lost both arms up to the elbow in the initial grab, and then (I assume, because he had no hands) bit the magma man to death before dying himself in the heat.

It was a sad day, and I entombed his artifact golden axe with him, along with his masterpiece steel armor. We locked the double golden doors and bricked up the entrance with his favorite stone, stibnite. I had been pitting the bodies of everything he killed into his tomb, starting when he achieved champion status, so there were quite a lot of bones in there.

[Aspgren]

Can axes get stuck in people?

Yes I had a miner who killed a goblin bowman by lodging a pickaxe firmly in his throat. This is why you can check that the soldiers carry 2 weapons ... and if you've forbidden yout dwarves to pick up what enemies drop automatically it's the reason you'll find bolts and arrows in beds. Dwarves lie down, pull it out, get better, leave it there.

[Sowelu]

it'd be awesome if magnetite walls could immobilize dwarfs or other critters carrying iron/steel items.. You'd have like, the ultimate siege-proof entrance! (well, unless you got mobbed by a horde of enemies with bronze...)

*assigns three dwarves to Push Button/R*
*fort blows up when they all go to sleep at the same time*

[Puck]

This dwarf JUMPS INTO THE WATER and finishes killing EVERY SINGLE CREATURE in the pool before he runs out of air. He then climbs back out of the water and goes off to have a light snack, as if this were an everyday thing. To be clear, he managed to slaughter and dismember 7 frog-men, 4 olm-men and one snake-man before he was out of breath, and then he climbed back out of the water. After that he was a 2 skill swimmer.

ummm... stairs involved? or can swimmers get in and out of the water just around the normal "ledges"?

[kotekzot]

This dwarf JUMPS INTO THE WATER and finishes killing EVERY SINGLE CREATURE in the pool before he runs out of air. He then climbs back out of the water and goes off to have a light snack, as if this were an everyday thing. To be clear, he managed to slaughter and dismember 7 frog-men, 4 olm-men and one snake-man before he was out of breath, and then he climbed back out of the water. After that he was a 2 skill swimmer.

ummm... stairs involved? or can swimmers get in and out of the water just around the normal "ledges"?

they can if they are higher than novices i believe. being superdwarvenly tough made him able to endure enough drowning to gain novice skill and catch his breath. at least that's my theory.

hell, i once removed brains from orcs in the raws and one tough orc crawled 20 tiles in the direction of my fortress before dying. his body must've been animated by sheer badassery.

[Marko]

Not sure quite so epic, but we were being ambushed by a group of goblins, one happened to be a human swordsman. When my swordsdwarves got got a hold of him, the human swordsman went flying back in a streaming line of pool and guts, and all that remained where the human was standing was a... human bone crown, that for some reason the goblin aligned human was wearing...

[MastaODisasta]

Faithfulaxe had gone down the tubes after a brutal goblin invasion, the population had plummeted from nearly 200 to less than ten when a crossbow-wielding goblin ambush showed up.  The only one who had managed to keep it together was my champion, so I figured, "why not", and ordered him to face down the ambush, figuring he'd go down in a blaze of glory.  I was wrong, he charged through the hail of bolts coming his way and effortlessly cut trough the entire group.

I got it all on tape too.

http://mkv25.net/dfma/movie-592-laststand

[Hectonkhyres]

I once had my dwarves cause the causeway into my fortress to collapse so that the hoard of goblins and trolls got dumped into my puppymill. Goblins were eaten by puppies, puppies were eaten by goblins, a troll smashed into a chamber where I had imprisoned a fire imp resulting in a whole lot of burning going on. Bad news.

Then my hammerer got released. This freak (aided by a hammer that I theorize was fashioned by Armok himself out of the core of a neutron star) could one-hit anybody in my fortress and he had been prevented from acting on his homicidal urges. He splatters a troll, runs halfway across the fortress and splatters one of my dwarves, does a U-turn and goes and splatters a couple gobbos, splatters another dwarf. The damn bastard is killing everybody.

I end up sending a suicide bomber miner to dig through one of the magmaworks I had going, flooding that entire wing of the fortress with fiery death.

Best. Game. Ever.

[Anotu]

Mine was at my first siege. Goblins outside, raise the gates, I'll sit on my walls and shoot them to pieces! At least that was my plan. My (first ever) champion, henceforth dubbed "Optimus Dwarf" didn't agree and jumped off the end of the drawbridge practially as it was raising, and suddenly my music player reached 'The touch' from the transformers movie. Needless to say Optimus ran at the goblin army bare handed with no armour and sent everything he touched flying in a bloody mess into whatever was within twenty squares of him. By the time I managed to lower my drawbridge again he was just about finished, completely unwounded and surrounded in little red ascii dots as far as the eye could see.

Not, perhaps, the rarest event given how awesome champions could be, but the fact that the battle took the exact length of the song that was on a random playlist I had no idea I even had it on...

Awesome