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[Saunatonttu]

In first year of my current fortress, i had send my miner to remove my temporary above-ground farms. He got ambushed by 11 kobold. I thought to let the ambush enter the fortress and let caravan guards handle it. Didn't think that elves dont have guards... Kobolds killed elves (free stuff:D) and proceeded to hunt my lone farmer, as i raised drawbridge. I drafted my farmer and stationed him to the other side of map. Kobolds shot him with arrows, and he got light injury to hir arm. The the fun part happened:

Kobold stumbled on ramp, and some blood fell to the ground. My copletely untrained, unarmored and unarmed farmer saw the blood, went crazy, ignored his orders, and ripped the lightly injured kobold bowman to two with his bare hands, killing him. The other 10 kobolds instantly fled the map. Rambo dwarf:D

[Neoskel]

I once had a dwarf run infront of a ballista in a tower the exact second it fired, he got skewered kebab style. 

I once "stationed" (repeated lever pulling) a noble in front of a ballista (with a fortification again) and fired. He escaped with only a hand injury. 

What would be really funny is if the hand injury is just a sprain from pulling the lever too much and nothing to do with the ballista bolt. 

[AncientEnemy]

I don't know if this is one-in-a-million or not but during my first experience with  HFS:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

My legendary miner is messing around on the bottom Z level and breaches the glowing pit. A demon pops out immediately (OH SHI~), and my miner proceeds to pickaxe it through the heart and lungs, killing it almost instantly. I was then able to wall off the pit before any more came out. The miner didn't even have a bruise

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

So he fared much better than the miner in the intro movie. hahah.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

OHHHH is that what's happening in intro? I didn't get that till now XD

[Smew]

I don't know if this is one-in-a-million or not but during my first experience with  HFS:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

My legendary miner is messing around on the bottom Z level and breaches the glowing pit. A demon pops out immediately (OH SHI~), and my miner proceeds to pickaxe it through the heart and lungs, killing it almost instantly. I was then able to wall off the pit before any more came out. The miner didn't even have a bruise

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

So he fared much better than the miner in the intro movie. hahah.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

OHHHH is that what's happening in intro? I didn't get that till now XD

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Well, I assume as much, makes more sense than lava, no?
HFS always leads to awesome fun.

[RAM]

What was their name, they need to become a god of nobles!

[ThtblovesDF]

I had a bunch of monkeys walk in my fort, ignore evryone and evrything on there way to the Kings Room - there they took his pants and left again.

LoL?

[Mount]

I had a bunch of monkeys walk in my fort, ignore evryone and evrything on there way to the Kings Room - there they took his pants and left again.

And now I must make a fortress named Monkeypants in tribute to this!

[Hoborobo234]

In an old modded lizardman fort i did, monkey raids were  very common. we died mainly because of that, and the fact that lizardmen only eat meat

[Phazer]

well...

it began when my i reclaimed a fort because of the Spirits of Fire that killed me because i wasent ready.
anyway, when i arrived i fixed everything to what it were before the carnage.
then my fishers, 2 of em died in the cave river because the monster had respawned, as everyone is friends when you reclaim you would know that everyone went tantruming. now to the one-in-a-million moment.
my craftdwarf took up 25 bolts  and began throw it around he killed about 7 dwarfs because Lungs/heart pierce shots.

talk about enraging and fun.

[Jurph]

I just had a non-champion get a lucky swing in the latest elvish invasion... She swung her obsidian sword upwards from ground level at an elf on a unicorn, and caught him -- by my estimation -- just above the femur.  The elf went fifteen tiles northeast, fountaining gore, and I'm pretty sure he was dead before he hit the cliff face.  The leg went two tiles southwest.  The unicorn escaped unscathed.  It's like tee ball, but with more violence and gore!

I've dug out a huge sword-shaped great hall in her honor, and once it's engraved, she gets a great bedroom in the pommel of the sword.

[SolarShado]

not exactly a rare occurance, i got a good laugh from it:

in my latest fort, the trade depot it just outside the front door. human caravan arrives, i designate a bunch of crap to be brought to trade. and every dwarf who comes outside vomits between the door and the depot. i could see them pouring out of the door carying bins, pausing to viloently vomit, then carrying on like nothing happened.

[Karadan]

In one of my forts, I had a double layer of traps surrounding my entrance, with about 5 tiles between each layer.  I had a massive goblin siege arrive.  A good number of them got killed on the first layer, but that allowed even more to run past while the traps rearmed themselves.  Then once they'd all gotten past the first layer of traps, they did about the same thing for the second layer.  One guy was lagging behind a bit though, and tripped a trap after everyone was in range of my fortress, and his death was enough to scare the siege off.  Trouble was in order to retreat they had to run back over both layers of traps again.  I think maybe one or two escaped alive.

[Slinkyfest]

Eh, surviving an ambush in my incredibly well defended fortress (built into the mountain, 2 square ditch surrounding said mountain, 2 drawbridges with fortifications and traps surrounding them) and I send my army out to fight. They get slaughtered. Mostly because its bow goblins and they attack one at a time. (Sleeping, eating, drinking, etc) so I draft my fortress, punt the goblins and celebrate by looting the dead, entombing the slain, and welcoming the merchants who just arrived. Now the One-in-a-million moment was when the first wagon went over my drawbridge, I had forgotten I had its associated lever to ensure no gobbos got in. They didn't pull until moments before the wagon went over. So the wagon went up a few z levels, came down on my 2 wide ditch, and disappeared. It injured my sheriff, and a few other peons, and the merchants ran away. Aside from breaking quantum law by making a wagon, a dwarf, and many thousands of dwarf bucks in good disappear, it wasn't that unusual.

[Nirur Torir]

Probably not all that rare, but I found the story of my first dwarf who died lost his life to the health care system amusing, from one of my earliest forts:

He was my original miner who got hurt from a collapsed building somewhere, and spent several months in bed. Eventually he got tired of being thirsty, and went melancholy. With all four limbs mangled, he managed to crawl down several flights of stairs (stopping constantly to collapse from pain, of course) towards the statue garden. As soon as he entered, his lover threw a party in that statue garden. I think he died of thirst sometime during the party.

I'm still not sure exactly where he was going, but I had been using the statue garden as a central hub for the rest of the fortress, with the hospital area near the entrance.

[Mephansteras]

In my experience, one-in-a-million chances happen nine times out of ten.

Well, this might be more like a one-in-a-thousand moment. A goblin siege got broken up by a squad of champions about 15 paces from my fort's main gate. Five z-levels up, directly over that gate was a room with fortifications for marksdwarves to shoot from. They didn't.

Now, while the champs easily dispatched the siege, I was a little irritated that my lazy marksdwarves decided not to shoot. I look at the room and, sure enough, all the marksdwarves are absent, presumably drinking or sleeping. What I did find was a single goblin leg that had apparently been severed with so much force that it flew 5 z-levels up and 15 away and jammed itself into a fortification.

I just had something very similar happen. Battle at the main gate, sealed-access archery tower over the gate. Although mine did have the archers participating. Anyway, we mop up the ambush easily enough and I look around to unforbid stuff. I find a bloody, forbidden iron pike sitting up next to my archers in their ammo pile. No arm or anything, just the pike in a pool of blood. It is possible that the attached arm was already removed by a hauler by the time I looked up there but...that had to be freaky for the archers no matter what.