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[TheNewerMartianEmperor]

.... Nah, thats just too obvious.

I wish my head asploded.

[qwertyuiopas]

Granted, but they replace it with a super-powerful robotic head!

I wish for explosive pie.

[woose1]

Granted. It's very delilicious, and you don't know the passcode to activate the explosives.

Damn I spelled it wrong.
I wish Firefox didn't exist, and language became realli bd sphelled.

[Frelock]

Granted.  People become so infuriated with bad spelling that they go ahead and create mind-links to the internet.  People now can "talk" using pure thought, and writing is considered old-fashioned.  This also opens up the way to really awesome new thought-only games.

I wish I was forced to only program in assembly language.

[Wooty]

In frustration you pound your keyboard for several minutes, creating an AI which takes over the world and leads humanity into a golden age of prosperity.

I wish I was in prison.

[qwertyuiopas]

Granted, the high security walls save you from a bomb attack.

I wish everything I typed was mad up of , :|, and

[Wooty]

Because you're unable to type yourself, you have your butler Jeeves type for you. While you types, you notice he has looted the contents of your enormous money safe and glued the contents to the inside of his sleeve. You fire him immediately.

I wish I had cancer.

[Strife26]

Granted. But it's in your tear duct, and you're suddenly Chuck Norris. You get cured, and you're CHUCK NORRIS!!


I wish that this building would start on fire.

[Frelock]

Granted.  You quickly save everyone inside, along with all of their worldly possessions to boot.  However, in the process, you had to sacrifice all your possessions.  You are known across the world as a selfless hero, and people literally throw themselves at you in order to give you gifts.  You live out the rest of your days contented, writing memoirs and giving inspirational speeches.  Oh, and did I mention that you ride your prosperity into the presidency?

I wish my printer broke at the last minute before my thesis was due.  Also, the internet simultaneously goes out on my computer, and my flash drive breaks, meaning there is no possible way to get it to my "must be turned in on time" adviser.

[Strife26]

Granted. Thank God for Floppy disks.

I wish that we never got better technology than Floppy disks.

[Frelock]

Granted.  There was a period of stagnentation in the early 90's, when the world put all of its efforts into improving its culture and the standards of living in the poorest classes.  Everyone now has a decent living wage, plenty of food, and peace reigns throughout the world.  Not to mention the advances in music, drama, and literature.

I wish I was a celibate monk.

[Strife26]

Granted. You find fufilment without worldly pleasures.


I wish that the Minnesota elections would be compared to the Babaloinian captivity.

[Armok]

(I don't know anything about Minnesota, but I'll just asume it works like most democracies anywhere. I also asume the Babaloinian captivity is something bad)

Granted, somone writes a book detailing the similarities, this brings several issues into the public eye and result in the system improving dramaticly.

I wish for a worldwide Science-Related-Memetic-Disorder pandemic.

[~Neri]

Granted, everybody learns rocket science from the science related memetic disease.

I wish for a Master~

[Lyeos]

Granted, as I cannot properly uncorrupt this by making it be myself, you get one who is kind and caring and shares sweets with you.

I wish for nothing but isolation, forever.