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[SnorriMabdugkosak]

I wish for a device that produces pain with a perpetually increasing gain, such that the wearer always itching and it can never be cured.

It already exists. It's called a George Michael CD.

Well except for the itching part. But I'll grant you that they release a new CD which contains subliminal messages stating that you itch all the time.

I wish that the effects of hitting someone with a USB stick would be more dependent upon it's contents rather than the size of the stick.

[Frelock]

Granted, people now understand all of the data stored on a USB flash drive when hit with it.  Novels are almost exclusively written in this new medium.

I wish my bank funds would dry up.

[Katsuun]

Granted, but you then hike out into the wilderness and discover the true meaning of life, granting you the power of GOD, upon which you are hailed as a messiah and exempt from ever having to pay for things again as you rule the world with a godly hand.

I wish I was unable to eat.

[Jack_Bread]

Granted. You have no stomach and you don't require to eat... you can still pee for the hell of it.

I wish my house would burn down.

[Archangel]

Granted. It kills the terrorists that were going to blow up the town, thus saving everyone you know!

[612DwarfAvenue]

Alternately: You find a hidden safe among the ashes of a wall. Inside is $100,000,000,000 and a nice pair of socks.

I wish my colon would explode.

[Iituem]

Granted, the resultant heroic sacrifice stops the onslaught of the evil Umlaut army and saves Grammarland in a brief, if punctuated display of hydrotechnics.

I wish for all cute puppies to die, horribly.

[qwertyuiopas]

Granted, but your FPS triples.


I wish for a 1KB HD..

[Strife26]

Granted. It's linked to 1 million others.


I wish for snow! MWHAHA

[Katsuun]

Granted, the snowstorm you suffer keeps you from going out to work, which the next day in the news, you find was destroyed by a plane crash.

I wish that I was a paradox.

[Asheron]

Granted, an entire cult around your paradox appears who donates you all of their money. You are now rich!

I wish the sun would blow up.

[Squeegy]

Granted. In 5 trillion years, the sun will blow up.

I wish you were dead.

[Floirt]

Granted, he is dead and goes to heaven where he gets fun and all. You are relieved to not see him on the mortal plane again.

I wish for a carp-infested swimming pool, where I would swim all day, and the carp would be blood-thirsty.

[Katsuun]

Granted. Your pool is starred on Discovery Channel as a Nature Reserve, and you are granted a huge sum in cash to "maintain" the pool.

I wish I were an Oscar Meyer wiener. Yes, I went there.

[612DwarfAvenue]

Granted, You also win a game of Tic-Tac-Toe.



I wish i had no brain.