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Author Topic: Dwarven fruit  (Read 2506 times)

Jackrabbit

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Dwarven fruit
« on: April 01, 2009, 04:10:37 am »

I have just read a description of a most dwarven fruit. Appropriately enough, Terry Pratchett invented it. Let me quote an excerpt.

Quote from: Terry Pratchett, God among hilarious fantasy writers
They call it, "The Big Wahooni"

This is the one that grows only in certain parts of heathen Howondaland. It's twenty feet long, covered in spikes the color of earwax and smells like an anteater who has eaten a very bad ant.

How dwarven is that? It's enormous, smells terrible, menaces with disgusting spikes and tastes like Armok knows what. I need to mod this in. Is there any way to have humans and elves hate it whilst dwarves love it?
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Danaru

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Re: Dwarven fruit
« Reply #1 on: April 01, 2009, 07:57:27 am »

Holy Crap. If this could only grow in dark places, like caves, it would be more dwarven than Plump Helmets
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Akigagak

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Re: Dwarven fruit
« Reply #2 on: April 01, 2009, 10:27:35 am »

There's a quote from 'Witches Abroad' that has a DF ring to it.

'The fortress guard was basically anyone with nothing better to do.'

I might be slightly wrong on the phrasing, but that's the gist of it.
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PTTG??

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Re: Dwarven fruit
« Reply #3 on: April 01, 2009, 10:46:14 am »

Hah! I just read that myself last week! Still reading it.

Reminds me a little of Caboose in RvB trying to be mean;
"Kittens... with spikes on them! That makes me angry!... My name is Michael J. Caboose and I hate babies!

I suspect that Caboose is actually just a DF player.
 
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Stove

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Re: Dwarven fruit
« Reply #4 on: April 01, 2009, 01:22:43 pm »

Sounds like a 20-foot long version of a durian.
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Ampersand

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Re: Dwarven fruit
« Reply #5 on: April 01, 2009, 07:24:22 pm »

Sounds like a 20-foot long version of a durian.

Definitely where he got the idea, anyway. A Durian is an off color, spiky, foul smelling fruit that tastes like rotten eggs. Even Andrew Zimmer of Bizarre Foods can't handle it.
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umiman

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Re: Dwarven fruit
« Reply #6 on: April 01, 2009, 07:52:32 pm »

And yet millions of people eat and crave it every day...

Yet more evidence for the, "You guys are weenies" boat.  :P

Stove

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Re: Dwarven fruit
« Reply #7 on: April 01, 2009, 09:25:29 pm »

Sounds like a 20-foot long version of a durian.

Definitely where he got the idea, anyway. A Durian is an off color, spiky, foul smelling fruit that tastes like rotten eggs. Even Andrew Zimmer of Bizarre Foods can't handle it.

It doesn't taste like rotten eggs! It tastes like onion flavoured pudding.
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Kagus

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Re: Dwarven fruit
« Reply #8 on: April 02, 2009, 09:47:58 am »

Rotten eggs?  The hell?  Durian tastes just fine.  Well, I'm not quite sure to be honest...  Only ever had durian ice cream at a Vietnamese restaurant, and there's probably quite a bit of a difference from that and the real deal.

Theoclymenus

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Re: Dwarven fruit
« Reply #9 on: April 02, 2009, 10:31:05 am »

I've eaten durian and actually enjoyed it. My stepfather brought it over from Malasyia after a business trip. It was dried though, maybe that removes the death from it?
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Grath

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Re: Dwarven fruit
« Reply #10 on: April 02, 2009, 10:36:24 am »

I believe the horrifying part of the durian is the SMELL, not the taste. I remember hearing it described as smelling like an open sewer.
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Kogan Loloklam

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Re: Dwarven fruit
« Reply #11 on: April 02, 2009, 10:57:17 am »

I believe the horrifying part of the durian is the SMELL, not the taste. I remember hearing it described as smelling like an open sewer.
And you are going to let it's evolutionary mechanism to prevent humans from eating it WIN!?
EAT THE DRATTED THING! Show it that it can't win!

Belladonna too. Arrogant plant thinks it can get away with not being eaten, I'll show it!
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Jackrabbit

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Re: Dwarven fruit
« Reply #12 on: April 02, 2009, 05:35:28 pm »

belladonna is all natural and arsenic is a plant.

Mmmmmm!
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Sowelu

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Re: Dwarven fruit
« Reply #13 on: April 02, 2009, 07:23:15 pm »

Mmmm, durian bubble tea.  Yum...

As for the OP, there is no way to control what races like what foods.  Heck there's not even any concept of liking foods besides randomly having one favorite food for each person.  Also, there's no concept of plant size I believe--which means everything has the same nutritional value, so one of these will still get turned into 5x rum, or cooked into a little barrel, etc.
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woose1

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Re: Dwarven fruit
« Reply #14 on: April 02, 2009, 07:28:53 pm »

"Anything can be fixed with a little tinkering in the smelter department..."
-A quote, by a famous man
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