I'm just saying, telling teenagers that their life sucks and it's always going to suck isn't really awesome advice.
You're right! Oh noes, what have I been saying!
Jack, your life is going to be awesome. Girls are going to love you, and all the men will be jealous of you, if only because they secretly wish they were girls so that you'd bless them with your cool cat hipster advances. You're going to get 104% on all your tests, and your presence in the classroom will be so extreme that they'll have to call in reserves from the Super Sexy Substitute Teachers Association of Sweden, and even then they'll be all hot and bothered and feel the need to dress up for you in order to even get one half-cocked smile flashed at them. All the homies in the world will bow down and respect you, because they'll recognise a true masta playa dawg. You'll never say anything stupid, everyone will respect and understand you, and no-one will ever disagree with you. People will retroactively change history and human knowledge itself just so you're never wrong. Your life will be fantastic and when you graduate from High School, a magic fairy from the land of rainbows, gumdrops and blowjobs will wisk you away to be their King in a Ferrari powered by sunshine and the sheer power of your awesome. Then, you will live forever in total bliss, and you will win the lottery every day and never have to worry about money. Your children will be looked after by exotic and distant nannies, and will never make any mistakes ever, because hey, they've got at least half your genetic code.
Sometimes, on weekends, Shaq will swing by and you'll have a poker game with himself, Optimus Prime, Christopher Walken and at least 4 'flavour of the month' supermodels. And instead of playing with money, you'll play for smiles and island nations.
Author
Topic: I hate my school. D: (Read 14619 times)