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[varnish]

Alive and well! For now.


Dwarfs who had lived in Greatbridge for any amount of time soon learned that, during a siege, you had to keep yourself busy, or else go mad. Some took to fighting, others to serial pregnancies, some to  learning new trades (Red Fortune had found, to her dismay, that she was quite good at soap-making), and still others to more fighting.

Lor Rimtarshin and Remalle, on the other hand, had taken to exploring the so-called underground bridge. They'd found that it had underground to spare, but it was hard to say just where the bridge part came in. Still, it was a way to keep busy. After all, the bridge was being dug according to the king's exact specifications, which meant that you had better pay attention, or else you'd find yourself lost in a maze of channels and passages that apparently, when viewed from above, formed a picture of a small fruit salad. Not that you could see it from above. As it was underground.

“Our king, eh?” Remalle and Lor were sitting at the end of one of these passages,  sharing a small mug of the now strictly rationed beer that Remalle had managed to sneak out of Frea's bar. “You have to admit that he has a... unique mind.”

“Yeah.” 

Remalle took another pull from the mug and looked over at Lor, who seemed distracted. In fact, she was staring upward at the (to Remalle) featureless slate cieling. “What the hell are you looking at, Lor?”

Lor started, and shrugged. “Not much. Just... sit over here. See that crack? Doesn't it feel like there's a bit of a breeze coming through?”

Remalle leaned over. “Hmm... yeah, I guess. Maybe? It's probably nothing. I mean... the only way you'd get a breeze down here is if they'd somehow managed to tunnel all the way under the ocean and out the other side. And we know there's no way they'd have... done that... by now.”

There was a moment of shared, thoughtful silence, before they both leapt to their feet.

“Ok, which way to the main hall? Quick!”

“Turn left at the seedless grapes!”


(Ok, so I had intended to add some pictures to this, but... I just loaded the fort and there's been a disaster. Long story short, everyone may be about to die. Stay tuned!)

[Heron TSG]

Oh noes! Orcs can dig!

[varnish]

The Terrible Battle For Greatbridge, As Recorded By The Great Historian Asob Inkposts

A Record of the First Orcish Intrusion into the Hallowed Sandy Halls of Greatbridge, and the many Beheadings that Followed. Also there were Disembowelings. And sundry other Violent Acts.

The First Deaths

And in the Year 208, in the Spring, just Yesterday in fact, the Foul Orcs at last found their Way into the Mighty Fortress of Greatbridge.



 Of the Dwarfs, the First to fall was the woodcutter Remalle, whose head was sundered from His body by the Master of Swords Shymyro Menacedpraises. The brewer Frea Witnessed the invasion, and the Massacre that followed, as did the Historian herself.



Both fled to raise the Alarms.

Fatal Choice of the Secretary, Inaluct

When the alarms were Raised, and orcs Poured through the breach like (a thing that pours quickly - AI Work on This), the Great Secretary Inaluct was forced to come to a most Harsh descision. The Miner Alath was ordered to dig a moat cutting the Breach off from the Rest of the Great Fortress, so that the Orcs could Advance no further.  Many Dwarf's lives were Saved by this Descision, but many more, including the Historian Herself, were left trapped with the Orcish Invaders, Doomed, it seemed, to a Really, Really violent Death.

The Last Stand of The Champion, Teach

Many, upon seeing themselves Trapped, fled to the Water Reservoir, where the Champion Teach had rallied a few survivors, Namely Fath, Mook, Grath, and Moron. All likely would have been Slain, were it not for the Unerring aim of Bustedlung. The attackers were broken, and fled, at Least for a Time.



 Alas, one Vile Orc Unknown, a skilled sharpshooter, brought an End to the Champion's life. The news of Teach's death might Well have proved Fatal to the Brave Defenders, had not a great cry Come up from the Storerooms where Shymyro Menacedpraises had been slain! All took heart at the News, and fought on with Redoubled efforts.

Geshud and the Breaking of the Siege

Many of the Orcs were already Disheartened at the death of the Swordsmaster, but none were prepared for the Hammer of Geshud, who led the surviving soldiers out of the Storerooms. Geshud's hammer spelled the end of Many Orc Lives, and the Probably Insane Grath, and the axedwarf Baltiel were there beside him, and many more fell to their Blades or Hands as it may be. And at long last the Orcs fled out of their Tunnel, and over the hills, Capering madly in Defeat.

A Record of The Fallen

Those Who Fell were many indeed: Sadly, it was Found soon after that the Former Mayor, Frea, first to Raise the Alarm, had been the Last to fall at Orcish hands. The Archaeologist and Learned Jurgen, slain outside the temple.



 Full half of the soldiers. Several poor children, and many skilled dwarfs, Including the cook  Endok, the miner Kubuk, and the Stoneworker Zasit. Still greater are the Fallen Orcs, whose rotting corpses litter the Halls, a testament to the Fury of the Dwarfish Peoples.




(Note: Total Deaths, 18. Named Dwarfs - Jurgen, Teach, Frea, Remalle. Not quite as bad as I was expecting. Still pretty crazy, though. Whew!)

[varnish]

Life in Greatbridge Continues, Despite

Solon was sick of it all. Sick of being Mayor, (what did that mean, except that you were the one in charge when everyone died?), Sick of Orcs (what business did they have invading?), sick of Dwarfs, (Why the hell were they all so good at dying?). But most of all, she was sick of elves.

“Listen... Rofa, the reason it took me so long to come up to trade is because we were being attacked. You know, attacked? As in, that's what all that screaming was about?”

“Oh.” Rofa sniffed. “I'd thought that was ordinary around here.”

“Well, no. It wasn't ordinary. And um... see, a lot of us died protecting the fort, and by extension, you. Some of them were my friends. So, when I ask for a bit of leeway, maybe a bit of reduction in your prices, it's only because-”

Rofa laughed. “Dwarf! Don't joke me around like that! If you hadn't wanted to be attacked, one would think you would at least have invested in some skilled archers to defend you! If anyone died, it was probably your fault. It'll be the same prices, take it or leave it. And we'd be happy to leave it.” He sniffed again. “There's a bit of a stench around here.”

Solon gritted her teeth, and agreed to the terms. She still wasn't one of the Dwarfs who hated elves on principle... But she was developing a very healthy hatred for Rofa.

[LegoLord]

Slay them all! (the elves, that is.  Not the dwarves )

I wonder how the jerk will react to his wife's death (that was Frea, right?).

[Jim Groovester]

I love this fort, for how hilariously mismanaged it continues to be.

I'm glad Jim Groovesdwarf is still alive.

[ousire]

the fort lives! but it is also very, very full of death now. any notable progress on the bridge itself?

[Keilden]

The orcs breach must have been caused by a criminal scum, and since they all are criminal scum I suggest a capital punishment. Like locking away all booze.

[varnish]

Slay them all! (the elves, that is.  Not the dwarves )

I wonder how the jerk will react to his wife's death (that was Frea, right?).

Why, he's as happy as can be, of course! It's a bit creepy, in fact.


An Event in Greatbridge, 18th of Slate, 208.

Sure, Greatbridge might be reeking from the countless orc corpses scattered throughout the hall. Sure, the halls were filled with the sounds of wailing, and sure, Frea's last baby had just flung herself into the reservior and drowned, but that didn't mean that a Dwarf couldn't find something to laugh about if he looked hard enough. Case in point, Fishy the “Bearcatcher”, who had just been found by Mook and Renna.

“So, how long has he been up there?” Mook asked, trying to sound casual.

“Since the start of the attack, I think. An orc wrestler threw him up there, but it looks like he forgot to finish the job. Wish I could have finished that orc.”

The two were looking at the ceiling of the armor stockroom. Specifically, they were looking at Fishy, who appeared to be buried from the top of his head to his chin in the packed red sand.



“He's still alive?”

“Yes. He kicked me when I tried to help him down. What should we do about him?”

“Invite some of the kids over, and let them play a nice game of Whack-a-Dwarf?”

“Ha!”

“Yeah... I'd just like to get him down from there somehow, though. He's messing up the symmetry of the storerooms.” Mook shivered. “And there's not much of that as it is.”


(This is my long winded way of saying that we got a floater. I've heard about this kind of thing, but I have no idea what to do about it.)

[Eagle]

Open up DC, find the dwarf, and there should be a checkbox marked "flying" or somesuch.

[varnish]

Dang it all, that means I'll actually have to use Dwarf Companion. Ah well.


From the Records of Inaluct, Secretary of Greatbridge of Oceans, 17th of Felsite, 208

Fort has become... unstable lately. Keilden and Legon have restricted access to what little alcohol is left. Lot of muttering about that. Not much Solon can do. Frea brewed it, Legon is Frea's wife, technically alcohol is his. Maybe talk to someone else about brewing? Got plenty of logs for barrels from elves.

Wrestler named Blorg just ran off down the hall. Weeping and tearing his clothes. Doesn't look good.

[Keilden]

No streakers in my fort, take him down!

[varnish]

From the Journals of Solon Wardbridges, 1st of Hematite, 208

There's not a single good thing to record about last month. That's not an exaggeration. See, when we drove out the orcs, and killed their last real leader, well, that might have seemed good. But the result?  More death, for us. Blorg died of thirst yesterday. About an hour later, Legon and Frea's last kid Zasit just... lost it. Went after Geshud with a sharpened orc bone.

Geshud's ok, but apparently she flew a good thirty feet after he hit her. So Legon is pretty miserable now. Here's hoping he doesn't lose his mind... I have a feeling I know just who he'd go after.

(Note: Part of the bridge is almooooost there. The problem is, the bridge is so long now that by the time a dwarf gets halfway across, he's usually thirsty, or hungry. So he turns back. It's irritating.)

[Heron TSG]

hmm... I don't know of a way to delay eating, but you COULD make the dwarves faster.

[Eagle]

Theres a [NOEAT] tag, as well as [NOSLEEP] and [NODRINK], but that might be too cheaty. (also, i probably forgot underscores. meh.)