Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Mook]

Awesome.  That's pretty much exactly how I play DF.  That's also the reason I don't play succession games anymore, incidentally.

Because when you spend your whole year turning the entire fortress into a mega-cavern, just so you can rebuild it room by room in a perfectly symmetrical fashion, something has gone terribly wrong.

[Keilden]

So the mason didn't complain that the walls and floor of the fort is just sand?

[Red Fortune]

Tbh, it's much better than my fortress design.

[varnish]

From the Journal's of Solon Wardbriges: Hematite the 14th, 207

Well, journal, it's been a busy month. Yes, that's the way I usually like to open these things. With a huge, huge understatement.

The first big event of the summer came when the humans arrived.



 I'm fairly certain that we've never had human merchants at Greatbridge before, and we were completely unprepared for their arrival. It literally seemed as though their wagons appeared out of nowhere. Unfortunately, the idiots were speeding through the valley where Jurgen's dig is located. You know. The valley I've started calling Ambush Central. Yes, it lived up to it's name.



I'm definitely not clear on everything that happened. Teach says he saw Bembul, Cain and Tekkud charge at the goblins, immediately get tangled up in each other's swords, and fall into one of the pits, somehow pulling several goblins down with them.



 Unfortunately, only Cain came out again. It's a mind boggling thing to imagine that actually happening, but Teach saw it, so I suppose it's true.

Meanwhile, the goblins were popping up left and right, Teach was trying to rally the army (most of whom were off drinking), and I was trapped in my office, trying to explain to the head human merchant that hey! His caravan was under attack, his people dying, so maybe, just maybe, we should deal with that before talking about what goods he'd like us to offer!

By the time I was able to make it up to the wall, the second ambush had been sprung to the north.



 Credit where it's due, Tosid, Qwick, Titoo, and Blorg had all quit drowning themselves in rum by this point, and were able meet the goblins head on.



Not soon enough to save the animal trainer and wrestler who were caught out there alone, of course. And not soon enough to save Frea's son Urist Skullbolted, who was cornered on the beach and killed. His named turned out to be appropriate, at least. Why do we even have a military?

In the end, we needed five new coffins. The humans made it through, though, and promised they would try to make it back next year, so I guess there's that. Plenty of lumber, booze, and bolts. The staples of life, here.

Hmmm... I hope I'm not becoming to jaded and cruel with all this death. That “skullbolted”crack was almost worthy of Legon. Ugh! I may need to take a dip in the ocean for that.

[LegoLord]

"Dang it, that's two butlers retirement plans now!"

OOC:  Why does it seem like ambushes are more deadly than sieges?

[Frelock]

Because sieges you can prepare for: you can pull all the dwarves inside, forbid stuff outside, and send the military to exactly where it needs to be.  Ambushes just...happen.

[Red Fortune]

I've abandoned many a fort because an ambush killed a group of miners and other civilians while my soldiers were sleeping, dangit, those goblins are clever.

[varnish]

(ok, back to this thing again.)

A Meeting of the Greatbridge Society of Concerned Citizens

“Now, I don't want to say that we made a mistake...” As usual, Remalle had taken it upon himself to open the meeting of Greatbridge's premier, (and only) civic organization.

“Oh, go ahead!” Renna said. “I'd really like to hear it.”

“BUT, I will admit that... we may have been a bit hasty in electing Frea as mayor. Things haven't exactly been much better than they were under Solon. All that death, the fact that some crazed child nearly murdered me... Perhaps it's time for a change in leadership, or at least- ”

“Look.” Inaluct said, “If you want to hold a second election, come out and say it. I've got mining requests to deal with.”

“OK! Yes, we should hold a second election. After all,if we're going to establish a democratic tradition here, we should actually practice it.” A pause. “So, all in favor?” This was followed by a chorus of reluctant ayes, and the meeting adjourned.

There was a bit of embarrassment after the meeting when Keilden and Moron bumped into each other as they left their positions outside the doors. Fortunately, both were able to explain to the other that they were “absolutely not spying at all.”

The ballot was then circulated around the fortress (well, the ballots were piled in a corner of the dining room, where they were generally used as napkins, at best) and gathered up several days later. The results were... surprising.

[varnish]

From the Journals of Solon Wardbridges, Limestone the 14th, 207

"HA HA! Vindication!

I'm off to kick Frea and Legon out of my office, right now."

Solon placed her pen down on the desk. At long last, things were going to be back to normal. She was mayor again. No more random deaths, no more insane temples... back to normal-

“Orcs! Orcs at the gate!”

Solon was proud of herself. She didn't swear, throw her hands to the sky and cry “Why me!” or even roll her eyes. She just sighed quietly, stood up, and ran out the door, calling for Teach.

............

The orc's arrival, after more than a year of absence, caught everyone by surprise. Only Rysith and Titoo were on patrol near the gate when the first of the orcs were spotted, capering gaily across the fields. Titoo ran for the stairs down, yelling “Teach! Geshud! Whoever the mayor is today! Orcs! Orcs at the gate! Close the damn thing already!”



But the gate wasn't closing. Normally, at least one dwarf was always on hand to pull the various levers that needed to be pulled, but it appeared that someone had been slacking. Rysith watched with both horror and anticipation as several of the leading orcs dashed into the main compound. This was it. He squared his shoulders, drew in a deep breath, and screamed “AXE about out new deals! We're slashing prices... daily!!!”

With that last word, he plunged into the horde of orcs, and was promptly eviscerated. Fortunately, he held them off just long enough for Mook to finally wake up, pull the lever, and slam the gate shut.

Titoo and Blorg arrived back on the scene just as Rysith charged madly in, pausing to watch the spectacle.

“That was one of the bravest things I've ever seen.”

“Too true.” Titoo paused. “He still was a useless soldier, though.”

“Oh, yeah. A complete idiot.”

There followed a short, violent fight as the soldiers dealt with the few orcs who had managed to get in before the gate closed.



 Dodok, Baltiel, Gesud, Titoo and Qwick were wounded, but there were no other deaths. At least in the military.

[Heron TSG]

Oh no! My favorite pun wielder!

[ein]

Well... at least this way, somebody else can axe the orcs a question.

[Mook]

Hooray!  And nothing of value was lost!

Except for several dwarves.

[inaluct]

NOOOOOOOOO!

*sob*

[Incoherent]

Wow, this Fortress is great!
Can I have a Dwarf?

Name:Fishy
Occupation: Bearcatcher
Skills:Fisherdwarf
Personality: Quiet. Only ever caught turtles. In ponds. Labeled "Bearcatcher" by King and send to fish for them in Greatbridge. Under the impression that "bear" is some kind of tuna.

Once again, good work.

[Remalle]

Except for several dwarves.

Nah, just Rysith.