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[cbfog]

These stupid fish have caused 100% of deaths within my fortress, taking into their watery grave a legendary leather worker and my chief farmer. I hate them so much. Is it possible to drain the river and cause these stupid fish to die, because I will gladly do so. My fortress was going along so well until the fateful day I issued the order to slaughter some donkeys and now the carp have claimed the lives of 5 dwarves. Unfortunately they did not kill useless idiots like soap makers but have almost annihilated my original seven due to their having a lot of labors enabled.

[Musluk]

A)  Pour magma over water.
B) Get a few marksdwarves, heck give everyone a crossbow and station them near water
C) Pump the water out, air-drown the stupid fish.
D) Save your game, quit, hack the raws, then reload. Removing all the amphibious or swimmer tags from fish/olmmen/whatever while they are in 7/7 water is fun.
E) Drown the world in magma.

[freeze]

Mostly I just go with the restricted area but sometimes i'll dig a harvesting drydock for them.

That's uh under the traffic menus...I think it's (d)(t)

[cbfog]

Why the hell can carp so easily decimate a fortress anyways. Are these dwarves actually like Smurfs where a large-ish fish can swallow a dwarf whole. What the hell is the deal with fish anyways.

[Keilden]

Armok noticed that there was no King Of Beasts that lived in the water, so he created the carp.

[Musluk]

From ze wiki:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The carp's status as a cold-blooded dwarf killer is no doubt due to the fact that Toady One simply used a default bite attack for the carp (as with most of the new beings in v0.27.169.33a). The carp, half the size of a dwarf, has a bite attack which inflicts 1-6 damage points. Compared to the strength of a dwarven punch (1-2 damage points), it is easy to see that it is simply an oversight and will be fixed some time in the future.

The carp's propensity to attack creatures outside of its element and its ability to scare away dwarves it could never really reach is better classifiable as a bug. The same could be said about the hunters ability to target and attack them.

Carp also used to gain attributes from skill increases. Previously, innate swimmers gained attributes as they gained swim skill. This has been changed, and innate swimmers no longer gain swimming skill (or stat increases).

Additionally, dwarves who get attacked by carp tend to end up in the river, either from being pulled in, "dodging" into it, or trying to bull-rush the carp.

[Jim Groovester]

Build some access ramps in the stream. Maybe your dwarves will survive if they can actually get out of the water once they're pulled in.

[ZergSpartan]

Why the hell can carp so easily decimate a fortress anyways. Are these dwarves actually like Smurfs where a large-ish fish can swallow a dwarf whole. What the hell is the deal with fish anyways.

I always see it as a midget jumping off a dock in an attempt to wrestle a great white to death. How do you think that turns out?

Stuff.

Dwarf Bone Crossbows with Dwarf Bone Bolts, sweet sweet vengance.

[cbfog]

Dwarf Bone Crossbows with Dwarf Bone Bolts, sweet sweet vengance.

That would be rad. I have plenty of dead dwarves to make this with. How do I do it?

[Sam Harrison]

I'm not sure if you can "process" the corpses; you may have to let them just decay until they turn into bones.
Perhaps dumping them off a high area beforehand might separate them into more pieces for more bones.

[Jim Groovester]

Dwarven bones are sacrosanct, so you can't use them to create items. You wouldn't turn your friend's bones into a crossbow and accompanying bolts, and then carry around his decorated skull, would you?

[Musluk]

Me, not really. A dwarf might have. A DF dwarf, would.

[ZergSpartan]

Dwarven bones are sacrosanct, so you can't use them to create items. You wouldn't turn your friend's bones into a crossbow and accompanying bolts, and then carry around his decorated skull, would you?

Ah but the brainwashed dwarves that show up with sieges are fair game. Or a smelter reacton modded in (Stone to Dwarf bones for me, I get some sweet artifacts).
Also to add to the list of how to kill Carp, drop something like 30 Wardogs in the river, that'll show em.

[tardface]

Dwarven bones are sacrosanct, so you can't use them to create items. You wouldn't turn your friend's bones into a crossbow and accompanying bolts, and then carry around his decorated skull, would you?

Ah but the brainwashed dwarves that show up with sieges are fair game. Or a smelter reacton modded in (Stone to Dwarf bones for me, I get some sweet artifacts).
Also to add to the list of how to kill Carp, drop something like 30 Wardogs in the river, that'll show em.

Two of my wardogs jumped into the river about 20 seconds after I embarked. They did NOT kill the carp.

They made my river prettily red, however.

[Porpoisepower]

If steam damage was still in the game...

1. funnel your next siege, ambush party to a river.
2. Save game
3. Set Carp's to 60,000 degrees
4. Load game, watch thermonuclear carpsplotion instantly turn entire river to steam.
5.
6. profit!