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Author Topic: Dwarf Hospital!  (Read 32716 times)

Zorgn

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #75 on: March 25, 2009, 05:09:35 pm »

Urist McDoctor: Ice, compression and elevation.
Cog McWounded: We live in a glacier. Get me booze and blankets, then sod off.
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Sowelu

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #76 on: March 25, 2009, 06:39:22 pm »

I hope they recommend everything with "Ice, compression and elevation".

*constructs a platform way up in the air supported by a flimsy tower of supports*  There's the elevation...
*builds a ceiling over it with blocks made out of ice, held up by another support*  There's the ice...
*attaches a lever to that support*  Aaaand...the compression.
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His servers are going to be powered by goat blood and moonlight.
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Slappy Moose

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #77 on: March 25, 2009, 06:55:06 pm »

I hope they recommend everything with "Ice, compression and elevation".

*constructs a platform way up in the air supported by a flimsy tower of supports*  There's the elevation...
*builds a ceiling over it with blocks made out of ice, held up by another support*  There's the ice...
*attaches a lever to that support*  Aaaand...the compression.

Dwarven hospitality just can't be beat.

I wonder, if a legendary doctor could make someone BETTER then healthy?

Heh, see what I said about surgically attaching axes to legendary soldier's arms  ;D



Wait, holy shit! Why hasn't anyone thought of this (or have they)!? PEG LEGS!

Dwarves who lose legs in horrible accidents can use crutches while the wound heals over, then get a peg leg or a peg arm, and if you've made any give them a sword arm or a pick arm!

Hell, give them a corkscrew arm and a mechanism heart, so they can drill through the ground, and up from beneath an invading goblin army!
« Last Edit: March 25, 2009, 07:00:21 pm by Slappy Moose »
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Zaneg Thazor: Armok Reincarnate Story http://www.bay12games.com/forum/index.php?topic=19291.msg196691#msg196691

[Healthcare Update Thread] Personally, I can't wait for doctors to get possessed and start surgically attaching axes to champion soldier's arms.

Slappy Moose

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #78 on: March 25, 2009, 06:57:49 pm »

Fuuuuck, double post   :-[  Sorry
« Last Edit: March 25, 2009, 07:00:42 pm by Slappy Moose »
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Zaneg Thazor: Armok Reincarnate Story http://www.bay12games.com/forum/index.php?topic=19291.msg196691#msg196691

[Healthcare Update Thread] Personally, I can't wait for doctors to get possessed and start surgically attaching axes to champion soldier's arms.

Idiom

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #79 on: March 25, 2009, 07:05:47 pm »

My armless hammerdwarves can be given hammer-arms! My blind marksmen can be given crossbow-bolt vision!

What happens when a doctor is struck by a fey mood?
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The Doctor

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #80 on: March 25, 2009, 07:13:18 pm »

They turn dwarves into elves.

That's when you kill them in horrible, excruciating ways.
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LegoLord

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #81 on: March 25, 2009, 07:30:11 pm »

Or it's when they turn visiting wounded Elf merchants into dwarves that make trees grow faster, allowing you to cut them down faster and invoke elf hate more quickly  ;D .

Oh god, if dwarves start getting nauseous....mexican waves of vomit spiralling around the underhalls. :o
Oh, come on now.  Dwarves won't look so disgusting people will vomit at the sight of them.

Oh.  I think you mean "nauseated."  :)

Nauseous  ;)
According to several English Majors, including my mother (I grew up with this, yeah), nauseous means "to inspire nausea."
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"Oh look there is a dragon my clothes might burn let me take them off and only wear steel plate."
And this is how tinned food was invented.
Alternately: The Brick Testament. It's a really fun look at what the bible would look like if interpreted literally. With Legos.
Just so I remember

pokute

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #82 on: March 25, 2009, 10:45:04 pm »

And then there´s the whole Frankensteining, maybe as an init setting?

That would be beautiful.  What with all the body parts we get and all...
Large serrated disc traps => abomination construct

Would a dwarven reanimated corpse be powered by electricity or magma?
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The Doctor

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #83 on: March 25, 2009, 10:49:52 pm »

Perpetual motion magma-powered waterwells.

On their face.
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Keilden

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #84 on: March 26, 2009, 01:53:33 am »

Hi everybody!
Hi doctor Nickrist!
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Musluk

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #85 on: March 26, 2009, 02:11:30 am »

My armless hammerdwarves can be given hammer-arms! My blind marksmen can be given crossbow-bolt vision!

What happens when a doctor is struck by a fey mood?

Cross-bolt vision?
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Techhead

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #86 on: March 26, 2009, 02:25:40 am »

This is what happens when dwarven doctors get strange moods.
Only applied to veterinary medicine.
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Engineering Dwarves' unfortunate demises since '08
WHAT?  WE DEMAND OUR FREE THINGS NOW DESPITE THE HARDSHIPS IT MAY CAUSE IN YOUR LIFE
It's like you're all trying to outdo each other in sheer useless pedantry.

Keilden

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #87 on: March 26, 2009, 04:30:27 am »

Dwarf doctors should be able to nuder pets, and use booze as pain killers.
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The Endcat will end you and everything you love.

Awayfarer

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #88 on: March 26, 2009, 07:54:32 am »

(Think I posted this elsewhere too)

Dr. Urist Frankenstein has withdrawn from society
Dr. Urist Frankenstein sketches pictures of bone
Dr. Urist Frankenstein sketches pictures of meat
Dr. Urist Frankenstein sketches pictures of brain

Dr. Urist Frankenstein has begun a mysterious construction!

Dr. Urist Frankenstein has created Urist Frankenstein, a dwarf(?)
Dr. Urist Frankenstein is more experienced
Urist Frankenstein, dwarf(?), has gone berserk!
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--There: Indicates location or state of being.
"The ale barrel is over there. There is a dwarf in it."
--Their: Indicates possession.
"Their beer has a dwarf in it. It must taste terrible.
--They're: A contraction of the words "they are".
"They're going to pull the dwarf out of the barrel."

Footkerchief

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #89 on: March 26, 2009, 08:09:16 am »

What about when I mod in an illness that causes uncontrollable projectile vomiting, is highly contagious and is transmitted through vomit?

Only if you use the Throwing rules for the vomit projectiles.

I don't know, if Toady kept all the current functionality for contaminant transfers, stepping in a normal puddle of vomit could cause the effects as well.
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