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[AussieGuy]

got a space open?

[Shoruke]

Nope. I got a waiting list though. And if you point out when I buggered something up in the turn you get a free exp.

ANYWAY can we get a turn in this game?

[AussieGuy]

Well errol is the gm....

[Errol]

Goddamn Lazy GM is, in fact, a proper description for me. Woo me!

I should update this two times a week, or perhaps even more often. It is a mystery why this escapes my grasp frequently. Oh well.

I also waited for Nuke, but he seems to be, well, confused by all these new Rollers to Dodgers.

I *promise* these elusive rolls, today, for both my RtDs. And another roll Wednesday. It is more or less the best I can offer.

Aussie - Try and fix the deathtrap.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

(2) You go to the engine room. You are utterly confused by all the mechanisms and stuff so you scurry away fast. Better than screwing up even more.

Cheetar - Establish mental connection with bear.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

(1) Between the rumbling ship, Inalucts frantical attempts to get a hold of the aptly-named Deathtrap and some other stuff, your mental connection attempts just give you a headache.

Ow.

Zasit - i prepare for the rough landing...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

(4-2=2) You try to shake off the unconsciousness so that you may. Prepare. Yourself. It works. Partially. Whether you get up will be determined by a roll in Inalucts turn.

Nuke - Remember stuff.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

(5) You remember everything, and jump in joy through the entire ship. Aussie mentally curses that the camera isn't invented yet.

Shoruke - Heal up. By resting, due to unconsciousness.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

(5) Ayup. You don't feel that Inaluct hauls you aside, and your bleeding is almost gone. You'll probably need to drink something tho.

EJ - Sleep.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

(6) Being exhausted a bit after your TK stunt you sleep. You continue to do so. Soon the entire ship hears your snoring, which yields you a boot-induced bruise on your head, but nothing serious. You dream of rainbows.

Inaluct - Pilot deathtrap eastwards.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

(1-1=uh oh) You succeed in persuading the Deathtrap to turn east. You do not, however, manage to steer it clear of the mountain, which is probably a bad thing. (5) Through a miracle, the deathtrap decides to not blow up. It lands one tile west of the cave. The party climbs out or is hauled out. You should be able to arrive at the cave next turn. Finally. (3) Shoruke does not get up.

ROLL TO REGENERATE!

Cheetar - (6) You are no longer depressed (thanks to getting out of that deathtrap), bruised, headached, or in pain. Nuke asks you whether one of your ancestors was a troll.
Zasit - (2) Nothing.
Shoruke - (4) You cease bleeding. It still hurts like hell, though.

Status - You're finally out of that deathtrap.

Map -

^ X O " "
" "  "  " "
-  - P -  -
^%%%%
^ ^ %%%

You're at X and need to go to O. You arrive next turn.

Statuses

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Aussieguy

Inventory
Copper Crossbow (-1 melee damage)
30 Bone Bolts (-1 ranged damage)
Three ballista parts

Skills

Crossbowgoblin
Bowyer
Dabbling Wizard
Dabbling Comedian
Dabbling Judge of Intent
Dabbling Liar
Dabbling Intimidator

Injury
Nope.

inaluct

Inventory
Makeshift Torch (Fire, -2 damage)
Kitten (Pet)
Copper Mace (statistical damage malus)
Gas Mask (magical properties: protects from poisonous gas)

Skills
Wood Burner
Furnace Operator
Macegoblin

Injury
Left arm was broken (roll to see whether it breaks again on use)
Slight Pain

Cheeetar

Inventory
Worn elven whip (-1 attack rolls)
New elven whip
War Brown Bear (Companion, +1 damage)
Seven bins of rope reed cloth
Rock Idol
Rock Mug

Skills
Animal Caretaker
Animal Trainer
Lasher
Dabbling Mason
Dabbling Miner

Injury
Nope.

Emperor_Jonathan

Inventory
Iron Pick (pierces!)
Bronze Mace
Adamantine Anvil(additional +1 to forging rolls, +1 to whatever action you want to do with it)

Skills
Miner
Anvil User
Dabbling Wizard

Injury
Steelskin (+1 damage reduction, may break)
Deep Asleep


NUKE9.13

Inventory
Copper Pick (-1 damage, pierces!)
2 Plump Helmets
Goblin Law Book

Skills
Miner
Brewer
Novice Liar
Novice Negotiator

Injury
No left eye (-1 to spot stuff coming from left, might impair other vision)
Pain

Zasit

Inventory
Masterwork Iron Armor (+1 def rolls)
Steel Spear (+1 attack rolls, and it pierces)
Worn Food (Useless)
Dog Leather Waterskin (Empty)
Ear Cutting Knife (-1 to damage, +1 to cutting ears)

Skills
Butchery
Animal dissection
Speargoblin

Injury
Two yellow wounds, bruised all over (-1 to rolls)
Unconscious

Shoruke

Inventory
Copper short sword (statistical damage malus)

Skills
Furnace Operator
Weaponsmith
Swordsgoblin
Novice Swimmer

Injury
Bruised Ribs
Serious Pain (-1 to mental)
Bruised all over, meh
Unconscious

[Emperor_Jonathan]

Can we get out and walk?

If yes: Get out and walk towards the O.

If no: Sleep.

[Shoruke]

I pose the same question as Emperor, but regardless of answer, I sleep anyway.

[NUKE9.13]

Sorry, sorry. Unannounced holiday.
I suffer from severe anti-sociality which prevented me from remembering to inform people.
Wait no I got kicked of the computer when I was going to do all the 'get a replacement for a week' thing.

ANYWAY.
I will prepare a lawsuit stating that the presence of a cave on these fields is interfering with an epic war which may shape the history of this world, and must therefore go somewhere else, so that it can provide basic training for young heroes living in lands far away with naught but a wooden sword and a health potion to their name, who can then properly engage in one-on-two-hundred battle against us, the evil goblins, this being (by normal fantasy tropes) our divine birthright. Also, the cave owes me for legal consultation (what legal consolation?; this legal consultation. That will be 200 goblinbucks)

[AussieGuy]

I'll make my crossbow the BEST CROSSBOW EVAR!!!

[inaluct]

I drag Shoruke out of the deathtrap. And give medical attention to whoever needs it.

[Errol]

You can get out and walk. You are already outside, for the matter. In fact, you ran outside remarkably quick.

[Zasit Alebath]

I try to wake up

[Shoruke]

In fact, you ran outside remarkably quick.

Maybe YOU guys all did...

[Errol]

Some of you turned out to be compulsive sleepwalkers.

Look, a wizard did it, OK?

[Errol]

6/7 is decent so you'll get your regularily scheduled rolls. Also, extra XP for all mistakes you point out.

Aussie - I'll make my crossbow the BEST CROSSBOW EVAR!!!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

(4) After examining your crossbow you decide to tinker a bit with it. The result is a less shoddy copper crossbow, decorated with some wood and handling better overall. If improved further, you might even be able to get even better results!

Cheetar - Get more familiar with that damn bear.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

(5) After your many failed attempts you thankfully learned something from that. You mount the bear and ride around a bit. The result is quite menacing. Everyone you charge will get a roll to resist fear. Intimidator skill gained.

Zasit - I try to wake up

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

(4-1=3) You shake off your drowsiness and wake up.

Nuke - ANYWAY.
I will prepare a lawsuit stating that the presence of a cave on these fields is interfering with an epic war which may shape the history of this world, and must therefore go somewhere else, so that it can provide basic training for young heroes living in lands far away with naught but a wooden sword and a health potion to their name, who can then properly engage in one-on-two-hundred battle against us, the evil goblins, this being (by normal fantasy tropes) our divine birthright. Also, the cave owes me for legal consultation (what legal consolation?; this legal consultation. That will be 200 goblinbucks)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

(6) You scribble a lawsuit on a piece of kitten leather you happened to acquire from someone who didn't need it. You take the needed ink out of a nearby... um... squirrel. Then you fold it up and take it to the cave. Some fearful cave residents flee immideatly, but as you prepare to venture deeper into the cave a minotaur lawyer in a black suit steps out. He pushes you into the cave courtroom.

Trial go!

Shoruke - I sleep anyway.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

(1) You get nightmares. Horrible, horrible nightmares. You wake up terribly deranged.

EJ - Get out and walk towards the O.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

(6) So you look around the landscape for an O, eh, and you get to the cave. You are mildly surprised as several batmen fly out at godspeed, but continue to walk into the cave.

It appears there's a trial going on, so you apply as a witness.

Inaluct - I drag Shoruke out of the deathtrap. And give medical attention to whoever needs it.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

(1) First, you are overrun by a screaming Shoruke. You try to give him medical attention but he rejects it by punching you in the face while babbling about elves. (6) Shoruke's fist is bruised. He runs away as fast as he can.

ROLL TO REGENERATE!

Zasit - (4) The bruises heal up slowly.
Shoruke - (4) Your status is not getting worse at least. The nightmare starts fading out of your memory.

Status - You're finally out of that deathtrap.

Map -

^ X O " "
" " S  " "
-  - P -  -
^%%%%
^ ^ %%%

You're at X and need to go to O. One tile per turn.

EJ and Nuke are at the cave. Shoruke is at S. The rest is at X.

The Trial Of The Century

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Prosecutor: Nuke (5) You make a very convincing argument interweaved with some laws.

Witness: EJ (5) Your statement fits perfectly with Nuke's arguments.

Defendant: Minotaur (6) The minotaur whips out an additional law book and shifts the balance in his favor.

Statuses

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Aussieguy

Inventory
Improved Decorated Copper Crossbow (-1 melee damage)
30 Bone Bolts (-1 ranged damage)
Three ballista parts

Skills

Crossbowgoblin
Bowyer
Dabbling Wizard
Dabbling Comedian
Dabbling Judge of Intent
Dabbling Liar
Dabbling Intimidator

Injury
Nope.

inaluct

Inventory
Makeshift Torch (Fire, -2 damage)
Kitten Corpse (Pet)
Copper Mace (statistical damage malus)
Gas Mask (magical properties: protects from poisonous gas)

Skills
Wood Burner
Furnace Operator
Macegoblin

Injury
Left arm was broken (roll to see whether it breaks again on use)
Slight Pain

Cheeetar

Inventory
Worn elven whip (-1 attack rolls)
New elven whip
War Brown Bear (Companion, +1 damage)
Seven bins of rope reed cloth
Rock Idol
Rock Mug

Skills
Animal Caretaker
Animal Trainer
Lasher
Dabbling Mason
Dabbling Miner
Competent Intimidator (on bear)

Injury
Nope.

Emperor_Jonathan

Inventory
Iron Pick (pierces!)
Bronze Mace
Adamantine Anvil(additional +1 to forging rolls, +1 to whatever action you want to do with it)

Skills
Miner
Anvil User
Dabbling Wizard

Injury
Steelskin (+1 damage reduction, may break)
Deep Asleep


NUKE9.13

Inventory
Copper Pick (-1 damage, pierces!)
2 Plump Helmets
Goblin Law Book

Skills
Miner
Brewer
Liar
Novice Negotiator
Lawyer

Injury
No left eye (-1 to spot stuff coming from left, might impair other vision)

Zasit

Inventory
Masterwork Iron Armor (+1 def rolls)
Steel Spear (+1 attack rolls, and it pierces)
Worn Food (Useless)
Dog Leather Waterskin (Empty)
Ear Cutting Knife (-1 to damage, +1 to cutting ears)

Skills
Butchery
Animal dissection
Speargoblin

Injury
Two yellow wounds, some bruises (-1 to rolls)

Shoruke

Inventory
Copper short sword (statistical damage malus)

Skills
Furnace Operator
Weaponsmith
Swordsgoblin
Novice Swimmer

Injury
Bruised Ribs
Serious Pain (-1 to mental)
Bruised all over, bruised fist

[inaluct]

I argue in favor of the minotaur. The eminent domain clause that would have forced him to vacate the premises was struck down in the 213 case Ilnedabsam v. Grubgrub, where a dwarf unsuccessfully sued an ogre to force him out of his cave. The defendant won and was awarded damages for pain and suffering caused by the long legal proceedings.