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[scuba]

omg that suxs lol


*a short note by Octavin to help go along with what he wants to do with his life*

entry: Before i came here i was just a normal farmer in a grand fortress. I might not have been the best but i did the best i could do. That was until one day, when working out in the fields with some fellow farmers we never would have suspected that the goblins would ambush us. We were tendin to some Plumphelmet when I looked up to see a farmer across the field fall down. He was struck by a bolt which killed him instantly. Thats when we saw the gobbos on top of a nearby hill. 4 marksmen and 5 swordman. As i turned back around towards the field 2 more dwarfs fell. The alarm raised but it was too late. the goblins were to close for the military to save all of those who stood. We all started to run for the fortress when out of now where came a hammerdwarf. i have never seen him in the fortress so i was guessing some migrants happened to arrive. He swung his hammer knocking a goblins far across the filed and into a tree instantly killing it. 2 swordgobbos ran to impale the dwarf but a single swing from his hammer disarmed them and sent them a few feet away. a few more farmers fell to the marksdwarf. As i was running away a stray bolt hit my leg injuring me. I tried to crawl but the pain was to much. i was drifting in and out of conciousness but what I can remember is seeing a goblin over me about to impale me but a bolt severed the goblins arm then a sword decapitating it. next thing i know im being carried away by the hammer dwarf. When i woke up there was a pendant. Just a plain copper and silver pendant. and next to it a letter from the dwarf who saved me. when i was strong enough i walked around around to try and find the hammerdwarf but i could not find him. I also found out i was the only dwarf out in the feilds who survived the ambush. In total 9 farmers died and so did 4 military. I found that the hammerdwarf dissappeared after the battle. I sworn that i would become just like my savior and take revenge on the goblins.

[Skelodwarf]

So I have this theory, see, and it is thus: Named dwarves will almost ALWAYS be killed in a dispute between a Named dwarf and an UnNamed Dwarf.

Short_Dwarf, I'm so sorry for your loss.

[short_dwarf]

lol, i'm just wondering though, do I have any grudges against someone?

[Helmaroc]

Just a question, is Helm one of the main craftsdwarves, or one of the people that just sit in their rooms all day, waiting for a job?

[Skelodwarf]

Helmaroc: No-One in Brokensquare sits doing nothing. People spend every day moving every item of a GIGANTIC elven caravan back to base from the spot it was destroyed brutally raped, at the far end of the screen.

I got these messages in succession:

Elven caravan, blah blah blah
AMBUSH
AMBUSH

and then I just watched the carnage as a good 10 elves died with theyre steeds, dropping 100s of tons of cloth.

Short_Dwarf, Guln doesn't have any grudges with anyone, he doesn't have any friends either... In fact... He's dead.

[Skelodwarf]

Quick update for the sake of wanting to clear my Notepad.

17th of Galena, Late Summer, 4th Year

   I can understand now what Faahrm was thinking when he brought his own death upon him. I, too, am now miserable. First him, then Bastiel, and now? Now that fool Legus has taken out his misery on me. My mule, my beloved mule. He was all I had of a family, and Legus walked right past me, up to it, and drove his pick through it's skull! How could he justify that? How can I justify not killing him myself right now? How can anyone Justify the cruelty that we all must suffer through? This is pointless, I now retire to my room in hopes that sleeping in my masterpiece bed will cheer me up.
         -Mayor Guln.

22nd of Galena, Late Summer, 4th Year

   Well that was truly an odd sight. I was sulking around, as is my usual pastime nowadays, and I watched as one of our herbalists, whose name I can not recall, dragging a load of platinum bars, which we purchased from the humans, into a craftsdwarf workshop. He is now working away without stop as I watch him and write this.

18th of Limestone, Early Autumn, 4th Year

   Well, it would appear I have come to find myself as mayor, in the mayor's room, writing in the mayor's journal. I see it is not explained already, so I shall do the expaining myself.
   Recently, after the quite dreadful chain of events, our previous mayor entered a semi-comatose state of depression. You see, he would walk around and do his job, but he was always sad, undoubtedly from the tragic loss of his friends, Baltiel, Bastion, and Faahrm. He may have also been depressed due to Legus, another friend of his, murdering his poor mule. Well, all that is fine and dandy now, as the dead are buried, and Legus is locked in his room for a year as a jail sentance. Now I see myself here in this office and things will be MUCH better. I do say, we shall start by finishing that hideous water tower that is blocking the view of so many people. Tearing it down now would be such a waste of so many crazy people's dreams, and I can't bring myself that low.
   Also, we must continue on the creation of the new dining hall, fit for a true king, like myself. Well, not that I'm the king, oh no, but I'm as close to one as these people have, so they might as well treat me like one. It will resemble the original dining hall, but will be five times larger, with 3 times the masterpiece statues, and will actually have tables, how about THAT.
   As dor now I must be off to aid in the trading, so those fools don't mess it up.
         -Rigress, Esteemed Mayor of Brokensquare

1st of Sandstone, Mid Autumn, 4th Year

   "Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" I haven't laughed this hard, ever! I just needed to record that laughter in all of history, as it is truly wondrous laughter. I have just been told the most wondrous of stories from our Swordsdwarf. Apparently, as he was going to collect some items from the past ambush spot to bring them to the depot, his long train of War Dogs encountered an ambush! The ambush consisted of a measly two goblins, which were quickly ripped to shreds by our noble dogs! If those gobbies think they can take down the great Rigress THAT easily, I scoff at they're feeble attempts and officially bid them allowance to attempt to ambush as much as they want, if THAT is their strategy. My only regret in this ordeal is that they were not captured in the cage traps they were walking by, so I could laugh at them myselves.

         -Rigress, Esteemed Mayor of Brokensquare

11th of Sandstone, Mid Autumn, 4th Year

   I should have my scout's executed for their treason! Their treachery! Their fiendish plotting behind my back to humiliate me! They dared give me wrong information! Shortly after I wrote that last entry I was informed that several dogs had died, DIED! I was outraged ofcourse, these dogs are highly valuable and not some expendable resource. They apparently went to take on the goblins, which were apparently still alive, and got killed by a human! A human! Then my scouts scrambled to tell me that they had said that 2 were dead, not that there were only two, before I scrambled off. PREPOSTEROUS, I do not scramble! I leave with grace and poise! If we weren't in such a need of militants right now, they would be dead for sure! Ah yes, needing militants, it is my sad duty to inform the readers of my glorious journal that several workers and a marksdwarf were shot down. Their bodies have been buried. Along with another death, Guln Shoddrah, the unworthy dwarf that held me back from this office before he went insane! Imagine the populace electing someone so unstable, so idiotic! Letting his emotions get a hold of him because of some stupid mule. Bah!
   Starting today, I shall build a great tower. This tower shall be immense, and through it shall run the aqueduct, supplying water to all in it! It shall hold our army, our sick, our poor. It shall be grand, a beacon of hope to all who see it! And naturally, it shall be named after me, Rigress.

         -Rigress, Esteemed Mayor of Brokensquare.

If the short updates annoy you, please tell me, and I will start making them seasonal, or yearly depending on how immense you want them.

[Heron TSG]

I'll take a dwarf. Name him Aditsas Akmeshenog (Sunpoke Tempestfrog)

It'd be nice if he was a 5x legendary dwarf with a minigun crossbow.

[Jarod Cain]

I'll take a Dwarf.

Name: Doctor Lynch
Profession: Whatever you deem appropriate.
Notes: If elected Mayor or given a chance to write an entry, he must speak in third person. As the Doctor finds such things amusing.
-J-

[Skelodwarf]

Eventually I'll start having random people write entries. As for now, Doctor lynch shall be one of my doctors (does nothing but haul things to the Depot [most dangerous time for patients] and health care)

Lhynch Vicarous shall be his Name.

Editing in another segment:

27th of Sandstone, Mid Autumn, 4th Year

   Those fools, another of them went insane. Why bother joining the military if you can't stand to see your friends die in front of you? Now the great "Beastmaster" as they call him has gone stark raving mad! Insane! Kookoo! AND he's followed by his personal army of 8 dogs. Hell, he used to have 12 of the damn mutts, before half of them died. He sobbed like a baby once that battle was over, randomly lashing out like a nutter. He IS a nutter. I can't stand this madness, I'm going to bed.

         -Rigress, Esteemed Mayor of Brokensquare.

25th of Timber, Late Autumn, 4th Year

   Another month gone by, and nothing has happened. The Great Feating Hall is completely dug out, and masterpiece statues are being placed inside. We'll probably tear down that Artifact statue in the other dining hall and move it in there. Everything in there must be masterpiece quality. Too bad we don't have more masons with as much skill as I have.

         -Rigress, Esteemed Mayor of Brokensquare.

27th of Moonstone, Early Winter, 4th Year

   I am thoroughly convinced that these nimwits will never actually make this fort survive if another wave of goblins survives. This history will never be read, from now on, I will only right notes.
   Org "Beastdweller" has died, insanity

14th of Granite, Early Spring, 5th Year

   Elven cavavan arrived, apparently unphased by last year's massacre.

17th of Slate, Mid Spring, 5th Year

   Dwarven Economy Has Started

   Baron Arrived,
   Baron's Consort Arrived,
   Hammerer Arrived,
   Tax Collector Arrived.

22nd of Felsite, Late Spring, 5th Year

   Armorer has become moody.

24th of Felsite, Late Spring, 5th Year

   Armorer has begun a mysterious construction

1st of Hematite, Early Summer, 5th Year

   Armorer has constructed Dabblingfalls, a legendary High Boot:

*

*Description and artistic rendition. (I always think of High Boots as shinguards, what are they really?)


Edit Edit: I ended up hating this character I created so much, that I stopped RPing him.

[Heron TSG]

I think of High Boots as giant metal astronaut shoes.

[RAM]

Wow, I thought that I decided not to post that, oh well.
Oooooh, I have a engraver, I like engravers, can I engrave the stockpiles? There is nothing quite so satisfying as treading on dwarven faces...

[short_dwarf]

O.o wow looks like mayors really dont live long,

high boots, think of those huge rain boots just made from metal.

[Skelodwarf]

"You're under 18, you won't be doing any time"

Thats the quote of today.

Also, the mayors aren't ALL dieing, just being replaced everytime one of them goes insane.

*Scurries of to play DF, so I can continue writing*

Honestly? This is my first fort to last 5 years, I usually get bored and start a new by know.

[Skelodwarf]

15th of Hematite, Summer 305

   Sup dwarves and dwarvettes! It would seem and appear that a new mayor is in the house! Who, you might ask? Me, dude! I'm like totally psyched at all the neat things I'm gonna do for this place! I mean, it's like paradise already, and now it seems that the aqueduct all the past mayors have talked about for so long is almost done! It will be passing overhead the city entrance pretty soon, where it will pour down in waterfalls into two caverns where the water will be redistributed to a well and throughout the world to protect the well from flooding! It's gonna be like, totally rad!
   In other news, as they say, I am in total support of project "Slaughter the World" of whatever Mr. Grumps called it. It's totally rad too! It's give us, like, 500 steaks already! Mmm... Horse. I can't wait to eat, so I'm going to write more later, maybe after the traders leave, yeah!

         -Mayor Dude.

(Now that I actually have someone who I can enjoy writing as, hopefully some fun stuff will happen. Like, I dunno, Gobbos maybe? We've had ONE thief in an entire year now, and nothing else. We have 107 Dorfs too, shouldn't they be sieging?)

27th of Malachite, Summer 305

   Yo dawgs, since the aqueduct is almsot done, I decided to start the construction and digging out of the water dispersement facility. It's pretty much a giant grid to slow down the raising of the water level, awesometastically proven to allow most of the water to evaporate before it even reaches the facility part! If it DOES get there, a pump which is running 24/7 off of magic power, pumps the water in to the river right past the magic spinning wheel! I'll like, commision some pics of it asap.
   In other news, we sold a bunch of junk to the humans, and we got a bunch of weapons. We can't use most of them, but they look helluh tight.

         -Mayor Dude

28th of Malachite, Summer 305

   Bitchin tight! We just got promoted, now we're an official city! I didn't even know we we're an unofficial one, but apparently, due to my mad skills, the city has progressed to such a level where the nobles can't keep their hands off of me! I'm like the king here! Except not a king, I'm less cool than that cat, but still!
   It's hopping around here now, everyone is working super hard.

         -Mayor Dude

16th of Galena, Summer 305


   Well, this place is getting really boring, I mean, is our sole purpose in life now to appease nobles? Screw that shit, I want some action, man!
   Maybe I'll write some more when stuff actually happens...

         -Mayor Dude

23rd of Galena, Summer 305

   The Great Hall is finally cleared out and smoothed out! Now all we need is those bros who do all the engraving to be a bit more legendary so they can engrave the place! Then it will be like, totally bitchin!



         -Mayor Dude

14th of Limestone, Autumn 305

   Shit. Has. Gone. Down. This is fricking intense, a dragon has been spotted by scouts on the pump-tower. It walked onto our territory by the strip mine, luckily that project was completed and no one was there. I have taken over as Mayors always do during military crisises. I have ordered all civillians to be recruited into one squad, allowing for military level punishments to be declared if anyone misbehaves. This squad was subsquently positioned at the end of the great hall, the area I deemed safest for combating a dragon. I also ordered them to patrol in a circular pattern along the hall, so that one fire breath won't obliterate them all. If worst comes to worst, and the dragon makes it in past the traps, I have stationed all military, including that foolish Skedrin and Octavin, inside the Depot, where they will be able to fight the dragon. If the dragon proves too much for both the traps and the military, then I myself will lead the civillian force to attempt to take on the dragon. Hope will be lost, but we shall die in a fight!
   I write this now as the dragon wonders around. I hope it will pass us on entirely, but the minting of coins recently has left the air smelling like gold. It will come to us, and we will be ready when it does!

      -Totalitarian Dictator of Military Times, Ast Erushmonang, Mayor.

   The dragon is still wandering as it turns to night. I fear for the news I just heard. A caravan of our kindred was seen as a straggler rushed into the mouth of the fortress.
   Armok save them all, may his lust for blood be paid by us, not them.

      -Totalitarian Dictator of Military Times, Ast Erushmonang, Mayor.

15th of Limestone, Autumn 305

   The minutes drag on like days, and the hours like months. Troops from above us have come down to report that the dragon is now destroying the Pumps inside the aqueduct's tower. I hope it drowns.   
   If we live, repairs will be a large setback.

      -Totalitarian Dictator of Military Times, Ast Erushmonang, Mayor.

16th of Limestone, Autumn 305

   The dragon ascended the tower, and now stands at the top of it crowing. I ventured outside to see this sight for myself, and I am glad that I did. I fear that the caravan may not make it to the depot, even with the dragon distracted. On the dragon's third crow, an ambush party jumped from the mountains onto the laiason from the Mountain home.
   If we survive, I plan to restart the "Slaughter The World" project in tenfold. All to appease Armok.

      -Blood for the Blood God, Ast Erushmonang, Mayor.

19th of Limestone, autumn 305

   Riskily, I know it was, I watched the battle at the Water Tower with my own eyes. This was the kind of excitement I wanted, brutal carnage with no losses on our parts. The goblin ambushers were headed for us, I know they were, they came in 4 groups, two to the left of our entrance, and two a bit farther right then the dragon.
   Where as the caravan found the first to, the dragon found the second two. The goblins all converged upon the dragon at once. The goblins attacked ruthlessly, but it seemed hopeless as the dragon burnt a good chunk of them to a crisp. Tearing at others, it seemed like the dragon would win, as it was almost unharmed.
   This left fear in my heart, as surely I would rather fight a few goblins then a dragon so mighty, alack! The dragon then fell to the side, it suddenly looked very old, and exhausted because of such. The goblins jumped on it, quickly tore off one of its legs, and then shredded the rest of it, until it stopped moving. I retreat now as I write, back into the fortress. Hopefully the goblins will not be too much, but there are still 17 left of them.

      -Totalitarian Dictator of Military Times, Ast Erushmonang, Mayor.

23rd of Limestone, autumn 305

   Hah! Blood for the Blood God indeed! But neigh, not our's! It is the blood of our enemies! The blood of those goblins, and the cursed dragon! I see now their mistake was in attacking the dragon first. If they had charged our traps, several would have made it, and we would have suffered fatalities. Neigh, the dragon killed many more then we can be accredited for. With a total of seven goblins down by the dragons claws, and another 2 left still alive with their bodies missing several limbs, currently unconcious by the tower to life in slow dieing pain until their end.
   In fact, we ourselves can not be accredited for any of the deaths, as we lost none, and killed none. It turns out that the caravan circled around, and the guards easily took care of the 10 remaining goblins, and 2 brainwashed humans.

         -Mayor Dude

Carnage below:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

This was really fun to watch and write about, hope to do some more soon!

(I'm now requesting comments more than new dorfies! I WANT PRAISE!)

[Jarod Cain]

Awesome man, Mayor Dude is quite a bit more entertaining and that siege was just plain ugly. Glad things worked out and didn't go south quickly.
-J-