((cue music“Journey of the Sorcerer”))A sadden hush fell upon
TallLabored in the wake of the ambush, not out of any sense of worry about the near fatal wounds inflected upon the humble cook
Vortex, after all Dwarfs were used to a harsh and brutal life. Much of their existence was marked with endless clashes against everything from Giant Titans to fish that had been known to drag a Dwarf down to his doom.
No the real reason for the saddened, almost ashamed hush over the fortress was the tongue lashing the head Dwarfs were getting from Trillian.
”MEDICINE! It isn’t hard to grab cloth and wrap it around a wound to stop the bleeding!” She said as she and Lintilla carried
Vortex to his room while Lintilla followed with fresh water and linens.
“I would ask what sort of primitive society this is, but I think I already know the answer! And after all this time, all the building and all of the improvements and all of the, the
Civilization I have seen you people build up here, that somehow putting a split on a broken bone or cleaning an infected wound somehow escapes you!” She bellowed before storming off.
There was some mutterings by the Dwarfs, some nervous shuffling of feet before Zaphod broke the tension.
“Hey cats buck up! I’ve got far worse from her in my day, you lot got off easy!” He said and handed
Mr.Bean and
ShadowDragon a very stiff drink.
“Now lets change this rather unfroopy, you guys are as tough as ol’ Monkey man where it comes to not getting killed” Zaphod said as Arthur, trying to get some bones from his bath robes protested.
“I protest Zaphod! Do you realize that in my time with you just how often I have been chased, yelled at, shot at, blow up and disintegrated? Arthur snapped.
“Exactly my point Monkey boy, you’ve been
almost killed dozens of times, but you’ve never actually died!” Zaphod said as he slapped Arthur firmly.
Elsewhere outside the Valley, just, outside the Valley front gates in fact, a very nervous
Slacker was carrying his latest haul of fish from the river that ran outside the valley walls. Looking at the bushes on either side of him, swearing that goblins could be anywhere, he mutters to himself.
“Bleeding miners! They have time to tunnel all over this valley but they can’t be arsed to make a simple tunnel to the one source of fish around here! They want fresh turtle? Well they can bloody well come outside the walls and get it themselves!”
Slacker said irritated as he hurried back. He could see the main gates now and breathed a sigh of relief, almost back home and out of---
THIEF! PROTECT THE HORDE FROM THE SKULKING FILTH!!!
“Armoks Blood!”
Slacker shouted as he leapt back from the lizard like Kolbol that he swore simply materialized out of thin air. Dropping his haul of fish he dashed toward the gates as the gibbering thing made off with his catch.
“Bloody Kolbols!” he shouted angrily shacking his fist as behind him
CivilWarMan and
Loomer sniggered.
“Don’t laugh you two! Those bloody thieves are everywhere I tell you, everywhere!”
“Steady on there!”
Slacker none of them skulking lizards dare show up inside the gates. Nothing will get past us here”
Loomer boasted as, if on cue, an iron +War Hammer+ lifted up into the air as if by magic.
THIEF! PROTECT THE HORDE FROM THE SKULKING FILTH!!!The Kolbol faded into existence before them as it tore through the front gates, dashing between the spikes and traps that one would
assume keep virtually anything from getting in or out.
At this point, several other Dwarfs had converged on the area as it became apparent that the recent fish theft was not an isolated incident.
DarkEvilMe dashed up, Hammer and Sword in hand as behind here
Stofsk and
Joviwam followed, weapons at the ready.
Ford Prefect watched the happenings with some amusement.
“They are just little lizard things, I don’t really see what all the fuss is about. I would hardly say this warrants sending the army out” Ford said down to
Mr.Bean, though the sarcasm was lost on the burly Dwarf.
“This be about Pride Starman! We face down monsters, dragons, Orcs, carp! We won’t be made fools of by some small skulking cowards!” He sais with much theatrical flare as in font of the main gates about a half dozen Dwarfs, all heavily armed, stood and watched, daring something to happen.
THIEF! PROTECT THE HORDE FROM THE SKULKING FILTH!!!
“It’s after the Olive Oil again! The last jar of olive in the whole universe!!!” Came a cry form behind the assembled as a small gray creature came dashing out from the simple firt dwelling of Ford and Arthur. Arthur for his [art was hot on the heels of the thief. He had chased down one of these creatures before and it had ended badly, for the Kolbol. This poor example of the race was no less fortunate as it ran full tilt into the awaiting Dwarfish forces. The end results were not pretty.
Blood, gore and severed limbs flew from the location where the Kobol had once stood, The battered can of Greek olive oil falling to the ground where it was quickly picked up by Arthur.
“Eeyarg, you people don’t mess about do you” he said as he wiped the treasured can free of entrails and Kolbol remains. The assembled Dwarfs, the notorious foe now properly vanquished, beamed furiously and exchanged much backslapping. A plodding sound broke their shared jubilation as Marvin the Android slumped pass, *Ax* in metallic hand.
“I don’t see what all the fuss is about, it isn’t exactly hard to bludgeon someone with primitively forged metal and blunt instruments. It isn’t like you had
your brain linked to a hyper planetary war computer, having to commutate the strategies of millions of horribly beweoponed starships. I’m sure you couldn’t begin to comprehend the situation so I don’t even know what I bother to ask you, oh god I’m so depressed.” He finished before trudging out of the main gates,
Mr.Bean looked to
Loomer who looked back to
Mr.Bean“That Golem is going to snap one of these days, mark my words”
=======================================
Next Episode!!! Marvin Snaps! [/b]
((Note, the one pic is not altered in any way, in the space of one day, I did indeed have Three thief's pop up around the fort. I wish I had a screenshot of just what happened to the third Kolbol, he popped up virtually right next to the Dwarfs practicing at the front gate, limbs and gore flew everywhere. ))
Author
Topic: The HitchHikers Guild to the Dwarfish Galaxy, (Open to Succession) (Read 21901 times)