((cue music “Journey of the Sorcerer”))The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy has this to say on the topic of Marriage:
Considered an ancient and rather outmoded ceremony that has existed for as long as sapient beings have been knocking each other up with un planned pregnancies.
Traditionally beginning as nothing more then a form of business transaction between species, it has since evolved on many a world into a overly complicated and often drama filled ritual that can often consume, infuriate, and destroy the couple it is supposed to be brining together.
Among the race known simple as Dwarves it is a far more simple ceremony that nonetheless has it’s moments of high drama.Spring had arrived in
Tall-Labored. It had been over a month since the vicious attack upon
Korvan by an equally vicious Dire Wolf. It would have gone very poorly for the Dwarf, save of news that his beloved had been with child and that his beloved,
Exonerate would hunt him down into the netherworld, should he die too quickly.
Such things can motivate even the most wounded of individuals to cling to the small thread of life.
And so it was, that down in the valley of
Tall-Labored a ceremony was getting underway between the individuals
Exonerate and
Korvan One of whom, just happened to be wheeled outside in a bed, with bandages and splints covering much of his body, but none the less active enough to participate.
Much of the Valley had turned out, a day of celebration held in honor of a single moment of happiness in an otherwise dreary existence.
Around the Dwarves, the crew of the defunct
Heart of Gold watched with interest as two large piles of gold were carted up to each of the Dwarves getting married.
“Ok Trillian, explain this to me again.
“Well Arthur, as I understand it from Lintilla, Dwarves place a great deal of stock in raising children. It is a very expensive and long process, and it is seen as an “investment” for them to raise a Dwarf to adulthood. When two Dwarfs get married then, it is seen as customary for each Dwarf to “buy” the other from it’s parents, basically paying them back for all they spent raising them.
“Buying them? That sounds a bit cold and callous. Don’t you think Trillian?” Ford stepped in at the moment, large drink in hand.
“Well I don’t know about that Arthur old friend. There are a lot of stranger marriage rights out there in the galaxy after all. Look at you Humans! All that business with rings, and fancy clothes? And not having kids before getting wed? What is the sense in that?” Arthur said nothing, wishing to change the topic quickly under Fords lascivious gaze.
“Well all I would like to know, is which one of them is the wife and which one is the husband? I, well, I can never bloody well tell them apart!” There was silence for a moment, as virtually every Dwarf turned, glared at Arthur for a moment, before the ceremony continued.
It was about an hour later, The sun was shinning, and the crew of the Heart of Gold, sat eating the Dwarf equivalent of “Cake” while loud sounds of merriment came from inside the large Cave.
High atop the main walls, a shout from one of the new Guards, from
Twelfth Bay, a certain
Petra alerted those down in the Valley.
“Incoming Rider! Ahoy Ahoy! We be getting Caravans!!!”
A rush of Dwarves from inside soon followed, many bringing out telescopes to eye the distant approaching figures.
“AH! I should have known better, it’s a group of beastman again! They usually show up in the spring, couldn’t have made better timing!” a certain
Vogonpoet spoke as he came out from the cave, his head festooned with an +Iron Party hat+ of his own making. His telescope being passed to
Joviwam who took a look as well.
“Aye, lets see, Racconmen, and a rider from the Jacklemen, and, what be this? Humans?”
Arthur and Trillian immediately turned around
“HUMANS?” they both spoke in unison.
“Are you sure about that Joviwam? I know oyu refer to all of us as ‘StarPeople’ but our Arthur and my own species are Human. You never said anything before!” Trillian said turning to the Dwarf as Arthur seemed ot sulk.
“Well they “Look” Humans, of course that doesn’t mean very much, I mean, most of the aliens I have met in the Galaxy seem to look just like Humans” Arthur said, casting an eye to Ford as he strode up drink in hand.
“In either case this is a Fascinating opportunity Arthur. Oh goodness, I guess I need to be official about being “Mayor” and go out to meet them.” Trillian said as she and a few guards went out of the front gates.
Inside, the party was breaking up temporary, the call had gone out, and bins full of the previous years best trinkets where being carted out to the trade Depot.
Inside the cave, Trillian, to her amazement, found herself indeed holding a meeting with "Humans", a Mr Ceslaz Jathrurnohus” conducting the affair."
"We had heard about the Dwarves starting a new outpost, they are an industrious people after all. But we did not expect such progress so quickly, or we would have sent Guild members much earlier" Ceslaz said.
"Well, we have been giving them some extra help, there are a few new innovations that we have shared with the." Trillian said as she pulled out a large parchment.
"The trade agreement will do nicely, and it will be a great joy to us to have some one we can purchase clothing from that comes in our sizes. Dwarf clothes do not exactly tailor well" Trillian said as Ceslaz chuckled.
'I would imagine, and you, all come from the stars then? You, those strange look-a-likes, and that creature with two heads?" Ceslaz Said.
"In a way yes, but, I think you would find us far more alike then different. For as long as we are on this world, we hope to make friends as best we can." She said... Choosing NOT to ask too much about the "Humans" of this world, or saying that she and Arthur were also Humans.
Things were complicated enough, no sense in making it worse.
Life after all, would do that on its own...
"
ORCS!!! ORCS IN THE WOODS!"
The shout rang across the valley... The Dwarf
Mangled rang the alarm as he shouted over and over again. The single word began to be repeated over and over again..
"ORCS! Orcs.
Orcs Orcs!"
Orcs had come to PaleLabored.
Author
Topic: The HitchHikers Guild to the Dwarfish Galaxy, (Open to Succession) (Read 22193 times)