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Author Topic: The HitchHikers Guild to the Dwarfish Galaxy, (Open to Succession)  (Read 22198 times)

Crossroads Inc.

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Re: The HitchHikers Guild to the Dwarfish Galaxy, (Open to Succession)
« Reply #120 on: April 17, 2012, 04:36:20 am »


((cue music “Journey of the Sorcerer”))

Far off in the outer reaches space, on a mostly unregarded and seemingly unimportant planet, the constantly random forces of the universe saw fit to give rise to a world where, against all; probability, many creatures from the myths of the world of “Earth” have come to be. These seem to include Dwarves, Elves, Dragons, various sapient ‘beast men’ and goblins. 

It is the goblins who seem to conflict the most with the predominantly Dwarven population.  Why this should be so is not fully understood.  Some insight into the long standing conflict may be found from Legendary Dwarven Philosopher, Grabpot Thundergust,  who is well known for saying on the matter: “Goblins? Thar be a Bugger.”


It is on the matter of Goblins, that the fledging fort know as Talllabored once more finds itself under dire attack from the green skinned monsters.

It would seem that under these dire situations, somewhat improbable, that the thing to first stand against the invaders is evidently a small fluffy kitten.

“HRRAGG!!!!! It’s on myrah frace! Myrah Frace!!!” Gurgled a goblin wrestler, who had, just moments before, been prepared to strike down, what seemed a hapless little animal.  Now, said animal was latched firmly to his face, claws deeply embedded into his skull.

“HRRRAGGG!! Get it orrf! Get it ORRF!!”

Several goblins came to his aid, a few raising visious spiked whips.
“Unrrgghh! Thrat looks prainfrul!” one chortled at the wrestlers misfortune.
“Gret in orrf now!” He gurgled again, as trying to simply pull the animal off seemed to only cause it’s claws to dig in all the deeper. 
“Hrragright Hragright! Irll purll it from yrah” A goblin Lasher said as it began to bring it’s spiked whip down hard.

As if anticipating the attack, the small fluffy kitten leapt instantly from the goblins face, and now latched firmly to the face of it’s new attacker.
HHRRAHHHHGG!!!! the lasher wailed as now he too, shared in the clawed agony.  His hands flaring wildly brought the spiked weapon down hard upon the goblin who had until just recently been so put upon by the kitten.

At this point, sensing perhaps it’s own invincibility waning, the kitten finally leapt from the lashers face and made a speedy retreat to the direction of the Fortress. “Hraaag! Arrfter it! I wrrant its Broness!!!” hissed the injured goblins as they made haste to the alls of TallLabored.

High atop one of the half constructed towers overlooking the walls, the head of the militia, Darkevilme looked in curiously at the scene high atop the hills.

“AYE! YE be right matie! Thar indeed seems to be a group of the buggers heading our way! Something seems to have really riled them up!” The Dwarven warrior shouted down to Darthkom who gave a smart salute.

“Aye aye, I’ll send de word out immediately!”

Alarms rang out across the valley, Dwarves, Humans and residents from the vicinity of Betelgeuse all looked up in concern.

“Fetid Photons! What is it now? Can’t an Ex-Galactic President get any rest around here?’ Zaphod barked as he reached out to grab a running Dwarf.
“Hold on there cat, what’s all the hurry about?

“It be goblins again ye Tall one! They be on der way shortly and we need to make ready!” The dwarf, Starglider said as he hefted a heavy *Iron Hammer*.

Soon, the crew was assembled before the main gates, Darkevilme ready top lead them to battle.



The group seemed to pose for dramatic effect, before charging out of the front gates. Each one shouting his own personal warcry:
They kin take our  lives, but they will never take our SOCKS!
Thar kin be only SEVEN!
BANG WENT SIXPENCE!
Har it be HAMMERTIME!

And so on…

The goblins for their part, already rather flustered by the severity and ferocity of the Fluffy Kitten Attack, now stood before the onslaught of well armed and highly agitated Dwarves.
darthkom, Shadowdragon and Vendetta led the attack as WhiteHaven and CivilWarMan raised crossbows from behind.
In the very front, Darkevilme raised a sword overhead while shouting.
“Alright lads! Lets give’em a good KICKEN!”

What followed was a truly horrific, violent and above all bloody battle that simply exploded with gore.  While there were some injuries among the Dwarves, clearly they were becoming a formidable fighting force.  Over looking the field of battle they saw the carnage, the horror the blood, and they saw it was good and proper.


Through this scene of bloodied corpses, as if returning to where it belonged, a certain Fluffy Kitten trod through. The Dwarves looked at it curiously as it padded up to one of the corpses.



“Oi, Where that Kitten come from? It been out here da whole time?” Inquired a certain Loomer who watched, with many of the others in horror and fascination, as the Fluffy Kitten, proceeded to widdle in the ears of the fallen.

Meanwhile, it was around this time that other events where becoming known to the mixed citizens of “TallLabored.

“Lintilla? Can you see them as well?
“I can indeed Lintilla, more Dwarves, it would seem the fort is becoming more of a city with each passing day.
“I agree deeply Lintilla and Lintilla,”
From behind the three clones, Trillian looked over the walls as well.
“It would seem they have brought one of the representatives, from the Fortress of SedNet Oh my this looks highly official! I should contact Mr.Bean at once!”

Little did Trillan know it, but soon, the ‘Leader’ of TallLabored would no longer be the humble Dwarf Bean…



=================
NEXT CHAPTER!!!
More Migrant Mess!
A shake up in the Leadership!
A Star-person goes Fey!
First a Sheriff, but then a Hammerer?
Tales of the Dungeon Master!
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Girlinhat

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Re: The HitchHikers Guild to the Dwarfish Galaxy, (Open to Succession)
« Reply #121 on: April 17, 2012, 09:43:56 pm »

Glory.

Crossroads Inc.

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Re: The HitchHikers Guild to the Dwarfish Galaxy, (Open to Succession)
« Reply #122 on: April 18, 2012, 08:39:21 am »

Was hopping for more feedback then that, but thanks all the same :D
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werty892

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Re: The HitchHikers Guild to the Dwarfish Galaxy, (Open to Succession)
« Reply #123 on: April 18, 2012, 12:17:38 pm »

So win... soz wenz...SYRJESXKSSRRI

WERTY892 has been taken by a fey mood!

Werty892 has claimed a craftdwarfs workshop!

Werty892: I MUST HAVE EPIC STORY!

martinuzz

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Re: The HitchHikers Guild to the Dwarfish Galaxy, NEED RECRUITS!!!
« Reply #124 on: April 18, 2012, 01:10:23 pm »

This story is amusingly amusing me. Keep it up.

I'll grab the mechanic. He likes to bitch at Marvin, and repair him whenever he is damaged.


Nice to see you're taking up this story again!
I would still like the mechanic, I requested at page 2
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Crossroads Inc.

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Re: The HitchHikers Guild to the Dwarfish Galaxy, (Open to Succession)
« Reply #125 on: April 18, 2012, 01:22:14 pm »

I think you are in there, just not come up in story yet.
And yeah I started working on this again after finding the folder in a back up file.
Posted a related link about it Here looking for someone who has an old school Dwarf 3D.

The back log of turns from this is huge... But I see now how it will end, and won't give up on it till it is done.
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martinuzz

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Re: The HitchHikers Guild to the Dwarfish Galaxy, (Open to Succession)
« Reply #126 on: April 18, 2012, 01:29:07 pm »

You could ...transfer... the whole game to the new version in emergency situations.
Finish that nice ring structure that you're making, build the same ring in a new version map. Turn on your newly repaired infinite improbability drive, emerge in new map :D

Oh.. Could you rename the mechanic to "Scotty"?
He will still like to bitch at Marvin and repair him.
He also has an odd twirk; every once in a while, when he thinks no-one sees him, he starts tapping a metallic image on his vest, and calling it "Captain?" for some reason.
« Last Edit: April 18, 2012, 01:33:21 pm by martinuzz »
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

Crossroads Inc.

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Re: The HitchHikers Guild to the Dwarfish Galaxy, (Open to Succession)
« Reply #127 on: April 18, 2012, 01:34:38 pm »

By "transfer" are you meaning just start up a new map and just "Call" it the same with same names and everything?
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martinuzz

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Re: The HitchHikers Guild to the Dwarfish Galaxy, (Open to Succession)
« Reply #128 on: April 18, 2012, 01:36:18 pm »

Yeah. Only for emergency situations. I suppose you can hackedit your starting population numbers and skills to reflect characters from the previous maps. Alas, personal preferences and traits can't be copied that way.
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

Crossroads Inc.

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Re: The HitchHikers Guild to the Dwarfish Galaxy, (Open to Succession)
« Reply #129 on: April 18, 2012, 01:39:40 pm »

Nah, it just wouldn't be the same... there are things I have done that I couldn't do any more... And other things which would ruin the "Ending" shall eventually come.
I have foreseen how this shall end, and it is my mission to bring it about.
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Argonnek

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Re: The HitchHikers Guild to the Dwarfish Galaxy, (Open to Succession)
« Reply #130 on: April 18, 2012, 02:06:11 pm »

An excellent and very funny read. Much like the legendary Adams himself.

Crossroads Inc.

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Re: The HitchHikers Guild to the Dwarfish Galaxy, (Open to Succession)
« Reply #131 on: April 18, 2012, 04:22:44 pm »

An excellent and very funny read. Much like the legendary Adams himself.

Well thats interesting, evidently Argonnek is currently engaged to the most experienced Elite Archer in the Fortress right now.
Good going Argo!
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tahujdt

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Re: The HitchHikers Guild to the Dwarfish Galaxy, (Open to Succession)
« Reply #132 on: April 19, 2012, 11:27:26 am »

ptw
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Crossroads Inc.

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Re: The HitchHikers Guild to the Dwarfish Galaxy, (Open to Succession)
« Reply #133 on: April 19, 2012, 11:30:39 am »

((cue music “Journey of the Sorcerer”))

The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy has much to say about the topic of Politics and Leadership. Throughout the galaxy, many different races have varying methods of leadership and ruling a society.  The Megnavergons of Josepy5 employ a method choosing a leader that consumes much of the planets population for well over 10 years at a time through seemingly endless myopic debates.  Conversely, the War like people of planet Irk, elect their leaders base solely upon whomever of them is the tallest in height. 

However the method of election or Rule it is widely regarded that the true job of someone in a position of power, is not to wield power but to draw attention away from it.


This is largely true for many political organizations through out the multiverse.  For those creatures known as “Dwarves” on an unregarded backwards little blue world, this however is not the case.  Rulers of the Dwarven people tend to be far more “active” in daily organization, usually, involving blunt weapons and Axes.

For those residents of the growing mixed community know as “TallLabored” their own personal leadership positions were about to be thrown on end.

“By Armoks Blood! It looks like we will be getting more then ever , eh Joviwam?”  The other Dwarf nodded as he was passed the telescope.
“Aye indeed matie, The Starpeople were right once again, seeing them from so far off.  And it be looking like they do indeed have a representative with’em.  But…” And here his voice hung with reluctance.
“They NOT be from the Mountain Halls of SedNet. See the colors of the flags they have?” Joviwam stated as [/b]Loomer[/b] nodded.
“Aye, bloody Ell, it looks like they be coming from the Mountain Halls of Twelfth Bay!!!” 



The two exchanged glances as the flagged down A passing Marvin.

“OI! Golem! Round up Mr.Bean and the other leaders! We be needed a proper counsel fir this!” Marvin looked up at the Dwarf with disdain and disinterest. Poltical matters where only one of the countless things the Android held little to no interest in.  Still, in accordance to his ancient programming he set off.

“Very well, I guess since no one is utilizing me for reworking the whole of quantum Gravity, or effortlessly solving the problems of the Multiverse Spacetime Equation paradox, I supposed I can be put to use “rounding up” your leaders” he said before trudging off. 

Sometime later  in the ever expanding caves inside the mountain, Mr.Bean, Lintilla, Lintilla, Trillian, Darkevilme, and Lintilla, all held counsel as just outside the new Dwarves where being counted and settled in.

“Aye thar be quite a few strange ones in here. They not be coming from our Mountain Home, but another city far off.” Trillian looked to Lintilla before looking back to Mr.Bean
“Is that a problem? You aren’t unfriendly to them or anything?”
“Nay, nothing such as that, just simply, unknown. Always have to keep an eye on new Dwarves and by Armok there does seem to be a lot of them!” He said, pulling out a scroll that had just been handed to him as he read off the names.

DaPatman - Engraver
RekiMakiri - Dyer
Petra – Hammer Dwarf
Mangled – Hammer Dwarf
L.Prossor – Lye Maker and Farmer
Vogonpoet - Metalsmith
Argonnek - Medic
Addictgamer – Mecahnic
JacenHan – Furnace Opperater
Dermonster – Soap Maker


Darkevilme seemed to brighten up, the curiously “feline” Dwarf smiling.
“AH, Two Hammer Dwarfs? I will bring them into the militia immediately, reports of goblins are rampant now and we ever need to bolster our defenses. “ She spoke, the Dwarf always concerned with matters of the military.  Trillian nodded.

‘I have been a Scientist and a Mathematician, and I never thought I would need to concern myself with such things.  But this is a savage place, and we have seen more attacks from those goblin creatures.  While I abhor violence, it is a matter of survival. I feel we must speed up construction of the outer walls.

Trillian and Trillan nodded in agreement as well as Mr.Bean sighed.
“Ye know, I originally came here with a vision of building a grand city for Dwarf kind, it was to be a place of peace, and learning and !!SCIENCE!!” he said, striking a pose.
“Not, not a military Fortress.” Darkevilme for once, seemed moved by the Dwarfs plea.
“Aye Bean, it may be those some day. Indeed I would very much like to see such greatness! But it seems Armok has such a city to be destined to be the target of enemies from all sides.”  Together the council nodded in agreement, orders to the stone workers where soon given out, as the representative from the Twelfth Bay mountain hall finally approached.

“I am Urist Legonthrom! I bring greetings from the Halls of Twelfth Bay as well as the low King of the Dwarves! Your settlement has been recognized! Tales of your mighty deeds has reached the Low Kings ears and he has proclaimed that TallLabored is to become a proper Town!” The Dwarf paused here as if for dramatic effect, half expecting some sort of fanfare behind him… When none presented itself, he gave a cough and continued.
“A Mayor shall here forth be elected by the people and a Sherriff be appointed to deal Justice to the new bastion of Dwarf kind. “  Mr.Bean sighed and stepped forward.

“Aye well I knew it would come to this at some point.” He began, but was cut off by the representative who raised a hand”
“This be a bit of a strange occurrence, but upon hearing of the peculiar, =ahem= situation of your resident’s the Low King has decided that the first proper mayor of TallLabored shall actually belong to the StarPerson Trillian “she” will be known as a proper Dwarf to hold this title.”



A silence came across the council table that seemed to go on for much longer then it should have.  Trillian sat up slowly and looked to Mr.Bean
“Me?  The Mayor? I know I have helped in organizing the town, but Mr.Bean has been though much more then me, I could never take his-“ The Dwarf interrupted.
“That not be how it is,  he will still be helping ye, but there needs to be one person with the official “Mayor” title Tall one.  And for this, we need to give you “Dwarf” as a title as well, purely for records of course” He said.
“Me? Officially a ‘Dwarf’?” Trillain asked with a smile.  Urist nodded… And then, the multiverse hiccupped.

Names are a powerful thing. Once a name has been given to something, that thing however unlikely, may invariably take on the characteristics of the thing it was named for.  This is seen countless times throughout the Galaxy.  Unfortunately for Trillian, at that single moment, being told she would be a “Dwarf” caused a very Dwarfy thing to happen…

“Mayor, Dwarf, how facinat-nat-Cabniet! Fascinating Cabinet! Cabinet Dwarf must build Cabinet as Dwarf Dwarf CABNIET!!!!!!!” And with that, Trillian tore down the hall, papers and scrolls flying everywhere.


The others looked shocked.
“But, But that can’t happen, she isn’t really a Dwarf, I just said it as a title” Urist stated as the other glared at him.

Outside Trillian ran into one of the small houses, sitting herself at a mason’s workshop.  Her eyes darting everywhere as strange unfamiliar Dwarfish brain singles snapped into her Human mind.  Into this, Arthur Dent and Ford Prefect came in.
“Fetid Photons! What is going on in here!” Ford shouted as behind him Arthur almost ran into Ford.
“Trillian! What is all this? Have you lost your mind!? What is going on here!”
Hey hey Monkey man, no need to shout.” Zaphod chimed in from behind as Trillian banged away at rocks.
“Hey cat, what os going on here? She is like, going Frogstar on those rocks over there!” The dwarf, Slacker looked up at Zaphod and the others.

“It be a Fey Mood Tall one, she be in for a harsh time of it!” Arthur looked to Ford.
“I thought those could only happen to Dwarves?”
“Stranger things can happen”
“Stranger things HAVE happened. I guess this world gets to everyone sooner or later.” Arthur said. “What a depressing thought.”


==========
NEXT CHAPTER!
An accounting of the times.
Wolves on the hunt!
Tragedy and Triumph!
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Crossroads Inc.

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Re: The HitchHikers Guild to the Dwarfish Galaxy, (Open to Succession)
« Reply #134 on: April 20, 2012, 09:38:42 pm »

HERE YE HERE YE!!!
To all those following I offer you now the following choice!
The first nobles are upon Tall-Labored!
Keep in mind htese are version 0.28 Nobles, so tax collector, hammerer, etc...
Gven the "mood" of the story, I hearby accept creative methods for dealing with them I may use in the story!
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