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[Peewee]

NEWER THREAD (go here instead)
Never mind, the OP didn't like being made fun of.

The rules:
1. Post something taken out of context.
2. The out of context material should preferably be funnier than the same material in the original context.
3. QUOTING YOURSELF IS PROHIBITED.
4. Dirty is fine, but as per the other thread, no quotes specifically involving the crotch/ass region.
5. Do not discuss in this thread.

Example:

That's the problem with people these days, no one has time to stop and dip the sausage.


You may interpret that anyway you like.

Context

Edit: Revived topic, updated rules.

[Ampersand]

"...wangs and asses were left unstoned, and instead of stone, it was bronze."

I don't think I'm going to explain.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"My friend seems obsessed with finding porn just to try to freak the rest of us out. And, one of her more interesting "finds" was a Medusa-like petrification, 'Cept wangs and asses were left unstoned, and instead of stone, it was bronze." --A friend of mine amid conversation.

[Peewee]

... Now post a link to the original discussion or something.
If you don't have the source, don't post.

EDIT: Thank you ampersand =)

[Yanlin]

[Peewee]

it seems like such a common thing i am surprised anyone in Df leaves home without their adamantium throat protector.

[Sean Mirrsen]

...evil overlords should be far more careful with their Villain Balls...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The Big Bad has a loyal minion who has been feeling... somewhat less than loyal recently. Maybe he met the heroes and liked them. Maybe he discovered more than a few reasons to believe that his master wasn't as nice as he seemed. Maybe he's not sure he approves of the current plot. Whatever the reason, he is pondering a difficult dilemma. Remain loyal, or betray the boss?

Fortunately, the Big Bad is willing to help him come to a decision. He immediately starts doing everything in his power to make the minion feel hurt and miserable, thus perfectly solidifying and justifying the inevitable Heel Face Turn or Mook Face Turn.

Such evil overlords should be far more careful with their Villain Balls... Oh, get your mind out of the gutter, will you?

Evil Cannot Comprehend Good is often, though not always, an element in their motivations. A particularly Magnetic Hero can usually tip the balance in his favor with a few kind words, or just by showing how he treats his friends.

[Peewee]

BEEeeEEeeEEeeEEs!11!

[inaluct]

I like nuts

heh heh look he just said that he likes nuts lol

[Org]

Luckely for the Axolotls, they are easely bred in captivity and are a pretty common pet. Also, they're a favoured subject for laboratory studies due to their ability to generate from heavy amounts of damage, including the loss of a limb or heavy damage to a less then vital organ.

Lucky to be test subjects? I don't know...that reminds me of Toady's test dwarves. Not sure they count as 'lucky'...but I guess it's better than going extinct.

I guess it's better than going extinct.

[firecrystal]

I want to see Grif's meathammer silhouette.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Grif wrote:
Orindell wrote:
THOR...is...BACK! *Jumps for joy* But the real question is: Why?


Commissioner Gordon turned on the spotlight with the lightning silhouette on it.

I want to see Grif's meathammer silhouette. Really wide light.

http://www.datarealms.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=9026&hilit=+tempest
Near the bottom of the page.

[Strife26]

Why don't you LIGHT YOUR HANDS ON FIRE AND PUNCH THE 'COON TO DEATH.

[Peewee]

Yes, I have.  He died.  It was a horrible accident.  Fell off of a cliff.  Got a new one.  Didn't cause trouble.  So he had no accidents.

WILL ALWAYS TEAR YOU LIMB FROM LIMB LIKE A CHILD EATING A HAPPY MEAL.

[ToonyMan]

...I mean, why flush the dung when you can KILL IT WITH FIRE

[woose1]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Begone, ye cursed rationality! Begone with all your good choices and hygienic tendencies!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Unsatisfied with answer, the monk decides to knock the mayor unconscious.
He rolls a Natural 20. Excited, he rolls to confirm. Another Natural 20! Awesome! Someone brings up the variant rule that states if you roll 2 Nat 20s and confirm, it's an auto-kill.

We all laugh at the idea of killing someone with non-lethal damage. The monk rolls.

Natural. Twenty.

There is an uproar from the table and high-fives all around. All, as you might have guessed by now, except for the DM. He looks furious. Apparently, we just killed the mayor, despite it being non-lethal damage. Our laughter dies into unsure looks and muttered "what?"s.

The DM describes how the mayor crumples to the ground, dead.
"But thankfully," the DM says, moving an identical miniature into the space. "The town's back-up mayor is still alive."

We chuckle.

He was serious.

See if you can ever, ever site those.

[ToonyMan]

Heh, I just read about the bottom one on the forum a minute ago.  That was on some other D&D forum.