I order the Big Ass Monster to help build the railroad.
| You shout at the Huge Demon. The Large Otherworldy Horror looks your way briefly, then fires a spell at you.
| You, of course, instantly counter with a spell of your own. The two spells clash
|, causing an explosion that:
Sends the Big Ass Monster reeling
| the Huge Otherworlder trips over a spice factory, and falls over backwards, landing on a mooring tower
| The mooring tower pierces the demon, although it seems not to notice. Nevertheless, being impaled reduces its movement.
And
| knocks you down. An unnatural pain grasps you. You will suffer a -1 penalty to your next roll.
I'll convince some people that they're really great engineers, and that they can fix or improve anything mechanical that I ask them to.
| Godammit people are running around and panicking and you have stuff for them to do. This will not do!
First things first, you strike a dramatic pose
| It is a good pose.
Secondly, you roll up some card into a makeshift voice-amplifying-device.
| Actually you can't be bothered, so you don't.
Thirdly, you shout at everybody.
Goddammit, peoples. I need you all to cut it out with the running about. And make with the engineering and the makings of stuff. Because I want lewt and without buildy peoples I will not get lewt.
It is, of course, a fantastic speech. So fantastic, that the peoples make with the cheering (huzzah, huzzah), then lift you onto their shoulders, and carry you through town to a large mooring tower, through the doors of a large shack at it's base, and then, ahving already removed pyro, place you on a big chair. A pling, and your prophesy display informs you that you are the new governor.
Great, you say.
But what of the engineering bonus?
Governor: Nirur Torir (+25% engineering bonus. +.2 morale bonus per person.)
Oh.
Ok then.
I laugh maniacly and run into the portal, trying to rip open the PEELZ. Meanhwile, my minions will attempt to mutate the nearest person to themselves.
| You laugh most maniaciously. Unfortunately, no one hears. Oh well. You return to the portal and enter it, landing on the deck of the brig.
| The crew is all like: OH SHIT SOME KIND OF- FLAGALGAEWHSDGASDF.
Several crew members' heads asplode in fear. The rest duck for cover as bits of skull and brain shower them. They all gibber.
| You kindly decide not to kill them all. Instead, you have your minions line them up for mutation. There are five remaining crew. You
| attempt to increase the radiation, but you accidentally lower it. A six
and a 5 or 6 is required to mutate now.
Roll to avoid getting mutated: 1 2 6 5 1
Crewman 3
| begins to shudder.
| He breaks into green sweat. Hmmn.
Crewman 3 (henceforth known as pete) will become completely green in two turns. For now, he is sweating green.
Roll to mutate: 2, nope.
I try to escape the dark room.
| Alas, the plushy cords binding you to the beanbag are too tight. However, with ordinary human strength, you stand up, lifting the beanbag with you.
| However, as you run in a random direction, you trip over a tea tray, and
| fall flat on your face. Fortunately, the beanbag on your back takes most of the shock of the man tackling you.
I start crashing around in his store of random crap, looking for anything that will be of use to me or that is related to the prophecy.
| You crash around happily, breaking many
priceless worthless pieces of
technology junk. You pick up some basic mechanical components, but nothing interesting.
I tell the big ass demon: "Look, either you vanish instantly, or I'll beat you over the head with THIS holy... um... kitchen tool!" I then proceed to do so if the BAD does not obey.
| Big ass demon. Even on a six you only have a 33% chance he'll listen (that's a 5 or 6).
|You look at the Otherworlder.
It looks up, being impaled upon a mooring tower.
You reach for your kitchen tool. Wait, what kitchen tool? Oh, this one. You wield the holy salad fork.
The Satanic beast feels the presence of the holy tongs of light vegetable transportation. It stands up, ripping the mooring tower from the ground. It pulls it from its back, and wields it menacingly. A man falls out for comic effect.
You commence a staredown with the Horror.
Wee-ooh-wee-ooh-wee.
(A giant tumble weed barrels past)
Waaa-waaa-waaa.
"There's only room in this hollowed out asteroid for one of us", you drawl.
"EUARGHY. RAAARGH", replies the demon.
| Faster than a streak of lightning you drop the stupid fork and fire 'It' at the monster, maximum setting. The demon is, of course, obliterated, as we all know you included a banishing effect in It.
A lingering smell of perfume remains. This provides a sweet-smelling morale bonus, huzzah!
BACK onto the ship AGAIN, and help the Value-Editor in its decidedly nonstandard epic battle.
I also instruct the Value Editor to move in a generally left-ish direction sneakily.
|You aid the value editor by reminding it of the TUNNELING upgrade you installed in it ages ago.
Woah, how could you have forgotten? Must have been because of all those LAMPSHADES that I forgot to mention.
Now leave tvtropes out of this thread.
..#......
..#......
.B#......
..#......
..B....V.
.>#...<..
.B#......
..#......
..#......
The value editor quickly sets up a tunnel under the firewall. The BNCRs have not seen the value editor, as, you know, cunning disguise.
You then hack the Value Editor's movement value up to full again, allowing it to sneakily move through the tunnel.
..#......
..#......
.B#......
..#......
..B......
V>#...<..
.B#......
..#......
..#......
Heh heh heh. You create a diversion
..#.Look.
..#.over.
.B#.here.
..#......
..B......
V>#...<..
.B#......
..#......
..#......
Genius.
The BNCRs look over there. They, however, see several potent virii and a bunch of odd code. They are all like; WTF MATES
(#=firewall >...<= Tunnel)
Shoruke's Value Editor:
3/5/4 Prg. class (+1/0/0 bonus to Shp. class in ship combat)
Standard battle: Duelling
Bonus: Disguise (Must initiate combat)
Status:---
BNCR-201:
1/3/3 Prg. class
Standard battle: Duelling
Status: Confused
So.
Looks like I got back in time to type the obvious action for my turn: attempt to regain conciousness!
| Nah, you're cool with sleeping. Good to be back in the realm of sanity, though. Said the permanent brain damage to the pink duck.
The pink duck tells you not to worry, he has a license.
Work
| They finish processing the scrap into buidling materials, and start work on the buildings.
(-12 scrap, -2 electronics)
Er, no time for statuses. Will finish tomorrow.
...
[/quot]
Author
Topic: SPACE PIRATES RTD- Chapter 1 (Read 37958 times)