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Author Topic: Lame Giant  (Read 1417 times)

timmeh

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Lame Giant
« on: March 12, 2009, 08:16:14 pm »
I just got a quest to kill a giant.  This is not that unusual, but the thing's crime list was...



It stole a prickle berry... that's it... "Knowing no mercy" too.  I promptly relieved the mayor of his eyes, arms, legs, and head.  I think I may save scrub and do it again, maybe I'll break his fingers first...

Anyone seen anything even worse?
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Quote from: hjd_uk on June 01, 2010, 05:30:58 am
On the Wall is a Masterfully engraved carving of Urist McHardcastle and Goblins. Urist McHardcastle is surrounded by the Goblins. The Golbins are stamping on Urist McHardcastle. Urist McHardcaste is laughing at the Goblins. The carving related to the prolonged and bloody death of Urist McHardcastle in the Fall of 1659, the Winter of 1659, and the Spring of 1660. On the engraving is an image of Cheese.

Org

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Re: Lame Giant
« Reply #1 on: March 12, 2009, 08:22:23 pm »
One of my targets stole a rope reed shoe. I slaughtered the town.
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LegoLord

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Re: Lame Giant
« Reply #2 on: March 12, 2009, 08:24:14 pm »
Oh, he probably stole more than that, the mayor just didn't say (I speak from experience).

Still funny though.  Kill the mayor again, after killing the giant and finishing the quest.
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Quote from: Vlynndar on April 02, 2009, 03:36:26 pm
"Oh look there is a dragon my clothes might burn let me take them off and only wear steel plate."
And this is how tinned food was invented.
Quote from: Vester on October 10, 2009, 10:10:11 pm
Alternately: The Brick Testament. It's a really fun look at what the bible would look like if interpreted literally. With Legos.
Just so I remember

timmeh

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Re: Lame Giant
« Reply #3 on: March 12, 2009, 08:30:39 pm »
Quote from: LegoLord on March 12, 2009, 08:24:14 pm
Oh, he probably stole more than that, the mayor just didn't say (I speak from experience).

Still funny though.  Kill the mayor again, after killing the giant and finishing the quest.
I hope so.. otherwise there won't be much in the way of good loot...  not that I really need money at this point, but none the less, coins are good throwing weapons.
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Quote from: hjd_uk on June 01, 2010, 05:30:58 am
On the Wall is a Masterfully engraved carving of Urist McHardcastle and Goblins. Urist McHardcastle is surrounded by the Goblins. The Golbins are stamping on Urist McHardcastle. Urist McHardcaste is laughing at the Goblins. The carving related to the prolonged and bloody death of Urist McHardcastle in the Fall of 1659, the Winter of 1659, and the Spring of 1660. On the engraving is an image of Cheese.

Creamcorn

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Re: Lame Giant
« Reply #4 on: March 12, 2009, 08:52:14 pm »
It's funny reading from the legends. And I quote,

In 78 The Soak of Soaking occured.

The Giant Soakedsplatters of trampling stole a great treasure from the mountain home of Fortressrot!

A Dwarven Beer was stolen!
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Quote from: NW_Kohaku on July 26, 2010, 12:20:43 pm
"OH NO! That carp is gulping at me menacingly, even though it cannot really threaten me from here on land!  I KNOW! I'll dodge into the water, where I'll be safe!"

timmeh

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Re: Lame Giant
« Reply #5 on: March 12, 2009, 08:54:06 pm »
Quote from: Creamcorn on March 12, 2009, 08:52:14 pm
It's funny reading from the legends. And I quote,

In 78 The Soak of Soaking occured.

The Giant Soakedsplatters of trampling stole a great treasure from the mountain home of Fortressrot!

A Dwarven Beer was stolen!

We're talking about dwarves here, the theft of beer is punishable by slow, and incredibly painful death via a cruel and twisted combination of kittens, lava and elephants.
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Quote from: hjd_uk on June 01, 2010, 05:30:58 am
On the Wall is a Masterfully engraved carving of Urist McHardcastle and Goblins. Urist McHardcastle is surrounded by the Goblins. The Golbins are stamping on Urist McHardcastle. Urist McHardcaste is laughing at the Goblins. The carving related to the prolonged and bloody death of Urist McHardcastle in the Fall of 1659, the Winter of 1659, and the Spring of 1660. On the engraving is an image of Cheese.

TheToeBighter98

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Re: Lame Giant
« Reply #6 on: March 13, 2009, 05:31:36 am »
Or rather, a room not deep enough to drown in and defanged carp.
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Myroc

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Re: Lame Giant
« Reply #7 on: March 14, 2009, 05:19:45 am »
Quote from: timmeh on March 12, 2009, 08:16:14 pm
I just got a quest to kill a giant.  This is not that unusual, but the thing's crime list was...

Picture.

It stole a prickle berry... that's it... "Knowing no mercy" too.  I promptly relieved the mayor of his eyes, arms, legs, and head.  I think I may save scrub and do it again, maybe I'll break his fingers first...
It was the holy prickle berry of Uzin Wavegem! He must be punished for this crime!
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Quote from: Realmfighter on February 22, 2010, 11:51:31 pm
We all have problems. Some people just have more awesome problems than others.
Quote from: Megaman on May 21, 2012, 08:28:13 pm
Getting angry is fun. Getting angry over petty things even better.

Cheshire Cat

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Re: Lame Giant
« Reply #8 on: March 16, 2009, 08:50:44 am »
Quote from: TheToeBighter98 on March 13, 2009, 05:31:36 am
Or rather, a room not deep enough to drown in and defanged carp.

my friend just walked in to drag me out somewhere away from my computer and he saw me reading that.

he said that it sounded erotic.

he has a dirty mind. he did start to elaborate but i threw a shoe at him to make him stop.
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Eagle

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Re: Lame Giant
« Reply #9 on: March 17, 2009, 10:40:30 pm »
Did he explode into gore?
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Guy Montag

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Re: Lame Giant
« Reply #10 on: March 19, 2009, 07:27:43 am »
Well, to be honest, back in the old days any sort of theft was punished with death.

If you stole somebody's chicken back in the 12th century in the dark ages/ middle ages you would be tied up in the barn and tourtured to death by the farmer if you were caught.

People really didn't fuck around with that sort of stuff back before there was rule of law and any organized justice system. If you wronged somebody, you would lose your life, or at the very least you'd lose your hand or fingers on a chopping block in the town square.
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Neonivek

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Re: Lame Giant
« Reply #11 on: March 19, 2009, 09:47:25 pm »
I don't know why people think this is unusual

If you steal something in the game as it is... even babies will hunt you down to your death!
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inaluct

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Re: Lame Giant
« Reply #12 on: March 19, 2009, 09:56:17 pm »
Yeah, that's sort of a problem excellent feature.
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