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Author Topic: Short story I'm working on...  (Read 1142 times)

shadow_archmagi

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Short story I'm working on...
« on: March 12, 2009, 06:36:40 pm »

Helpful criticism and praise welcome.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Yes, I'm aware it ends midsentence, I got cut off when the bell rang.
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invention is every dwarf's middle name
that means that somewhere out there theres a dwarf named Urist Invention Mcinvention.

shadow_archmagi

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Re: Short story I'm working on...
« Reply #1 on: March 13, 2009, 05:26:17 am »

Hey! Don't think I don't see you, thirteen views! LEAVE COMMENTS!

EDIT: 29... GJEWJKADJGAJGHAUIEGEH
« Last Edit: March 14, 2009, 07:41:43 pm by shadow_archmagi »
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invention is every dwarf's middle name
that means that somewhere out there theres a dwarf named Urist Invention Mcinvention.

SirHoneyBadger

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Re: Short story I'm working on...
« Reply #2 on: March 13, 2009, 05:49:37 am »

I will tomorrow. Someday, soon, I hope (appologies, not feeling well, lately.)

From what I read so far, it looks good.

Wouldn't be fair to judge it in my current sorry state, however.
« Last Edit: March 16, 2009, 03:04:16 am by SirHoneyBadger »
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For they would be your masters.

Little

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Re: Short story I'm working on...
« Reply #3 on: March 15, 2009, 04:25:33 pm »

Looks good.
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Blizzard is managed by dark sorcerers, and probably have enough money to bail-out the federal government.

Outcast Orange

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Re: Short story I'm working on...
« Reply #4 on: January 18, 2010, 01:19:38 am »

144 views.
3 comments.

: )

TL;DR.

That is what you wanted?
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[7:53:55 PM] Armok, why did you demand that I don't eat you?
[7:54:34 PM] [Armok]: woooooo

Burried Houses - Platform Explorer Demo H - Cloud Scream

Os Q

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Re: Short story I'm working on...
« Reply #5 on: January 18, 2010, 01:35:09 pm »

So far, so good (I really like the opening in particular)
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..at least put some spikes in your clubs for goodness sake!