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Author Topic: The elves are going to feel this one  (Read 1823 times)

krumlink

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The elves are going to feel this one
« on: March 09, 2009, 08:49:34 pm »
Have you ever used tweak and given yourself 30+ dwarves? Well I did, and each dwarf got their own complementary wood axe, and guess what? It is a heavily forested map. There is a tree within 3 tiles of the next tree and this is a 6x6 map. I have chopped down about a third of all the trees and already I have 3000+ logs. What do you think the elves are going to throw at me?
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sonerohi

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Re: The elves are going to feel this one
« Reply #1 on: March 09, 2009, 08:54:33 pm »
A flower collusus. Fear his pollen producing powers, for they attract.... BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!
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I picked up the stone and carved my name into the wind.

Jarod Cain

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Re: The elves are going to feel this one
« Reply #2 on: March 10, 2009, 12:40:00 am »
You know, if you create a giant wooden badger, the elves probably won't notice you...
-J-
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Keilden

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Re: The elves are going to feel this one
« Reply #3 on: March 10, 2009, 02:56:35 am »
They are going to throw spices at you.
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timmeh

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Re: The elves are going to feel this one
« Reply #4 on: March 10, 2009, 04:43:55 am »
With that many tree cut down?  I'd assume they'll try attacking you with sticks.  Given that you have 30+ dwarves with axes, I wouldn't be too concerned.

Quote from: Jarod Cain on March 10, 2009, 12:40:00 am
You know, if you create a giant wooden badger, the elves probably won't notice you...
-J-

Someone should mod in a wooden badger siege engine... make it launch livestock...
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Quote from: hjd_uk on June 01, 2010, 05:30:58 am
On the Wall is a Masterfully engraved carving of Urist McHardcastle and Goblins. Urist McHardcastle is surrounded by the Goblins. The Golbins are stamping on Urist McHardcastle. Urist McHardcaste is laughing at the Goblins. The carving related to the prolonged and bloody death of Urist McHardcastle in the Fall of 1659, the Winter of 1659, and the Spring of 1660. On the engraving is an image of Cheese.

praguepride

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Re: The elves are going to feel this one
« Reply #5 on: March 10, 2009, 09:36:14 am »
Build a gigantic shrine to Armok out of wood. Then light it on fire!
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Man, dwarves are such a**holes!

Quote from: Pilsu on March 12, 2009, 04:36:48 am
Even automatic genocide would be a better approach

Phazer

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Re: The elves are going to feel this one
« Reply #6 on: March 10, 2009, 09:53:41 am »
theyre gonna bring waves of useless cloth at you until you surrender. or they will come with their *Oaken Helm* and think they look though and try to hit you with their *Ashen Longsword*.
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Quote from: Jackrabbit on May 12, 2009, 05:23:39 am
Dragon: My plan is foolproof! Those foolish dwarves cannot resist walking near lava! If I hop in, then they won't know what hit them! I'll just- AH! OH GOD! I WASTED MY LIFE!

Duke 2.0

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Re: The elves are going to feel this one
« Reply #7 on: March 10, 2009, 10:43:47 am »
 Dwarves: AHHH! THE SKY BE FALLING!
 Elves: It took thousands of crops of Rope Reeds and a hundred weavers, but we finally covered the sky with cloth to strike down the Dwarves for their ways.
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Quote from: Aqizzar on October 13, 2010, 04:19:47 am
Buck up friendo, we're all on the level here.
Quote from: Jim Groovester on August 08, 2010, 08:18:09 pm
I would bet money Andrew has edited things retroactively, except I can't prove anything because it was edited retroactively.
MIERDO MILLAS DE VIBORAS FURIOSAS PARA ESTRANGULARTE MUERTO

Phazer

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Re: The elves are going to feel this one
« Reply #8 on: March 10, 2009, 11:37:49 am »
ermmm... dwarves live in mountains how will that giant cloth piece affect them?
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Quote from: Jackrabbit on May 12, 2009, 05:23:39 am
Dragon: My plan is foolproof! Those foolish dwarves cannot resist walking near lava! If I hop in, then they won't know what hit them! I'll just- AH! OH GOD! I WASTED MY LIFE!

Scope

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Re: The elves are going to feel this one
« Reply #9 on: March 10, 2009, 11:40:14 am »
This gigantic Cloth piece is soo huge, the weight of it is effectively crushing the mountain itself! what shall the Dwarfs do?!
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Phazer

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Re: The elves are going to feel this one
« Reply #10 on: March 10, 2009, 11:59:09 am »
Kill the elves with catapults? or better catapult the elf to a titan so he can rip of their ears and beat them senseless with them.
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Quote from: Jackrabbit on May 12, 2009, 05:23:39 am
Dragon: My plan is foolproof! Those foolish dwarves cannot resist walking near lava! If I hop in, then they won't know what hit them! I'll just- AH! OH GOD! I WASTED MY LIFE!

Hectonkhyres

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Re: The elves are going to feel this one
« Reply #11 on: March 10, 2009, 12:13:33 pm »
The cloth both blocks out the sun and prevents the passage of oxygen. Your entire fortress is suffocated by the forges (and breathing!) they so dearly love.
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Quote from: Volfram on April 30, 2009, 09:12:59 am
And now the thread is about starfish porn.
Quote from: Dante on September 21, 2009, 04:20:48 pm
...originally read that as 'perpetual motion pants' and thought how could I have missed this??

Hyndis

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Re: The elves are going to feel this one
« Reply #12 on: March 10, 2009, 02:04:12 pm »
Quote from: Scope on March 10, 2009, 11:40:14 am
This gigantic Cloth piece is soo huge, the weight of it is effectively crushing the mountain itself! what shall the Dwarfs do?!

Magma burns rope reed.
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Hyndis

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Re: The elves are going to feel this one
« Reply #13 on: March 10, 2009, 02:05:47 pm »
About 2/3rd of my fortress is farmers, who also do smelter working and wood cutting.

Every single one of them has an axe.

Occasionally I'll unleash them on the surrounding countryside, where they'll strip the lush forest of every single tree and shrub, even crushing every last blade of grass underfoot.

 ;D
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Scope

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Re: The elves are going to feel this one
« Reply #14 on: March 10, 2009, 02:14:33 pm »
Quote from: Hyndis on March 10, 2009, 02:04:12 pm
Quote from: Scope on March 10, 2009, 11:40:14 am
This gigantic Cloth piece is soo huge, the weight of it is effectively crushing the mountain itself! what shall the Dwarfs do?!

Magma burns rope reed.

as magma burns the Gigantic Piece of Cloth. The elves counter attack with caravans full of elephants! as the caravan closes in. the dwarfs ready their Atom-Smashing  devices...

...looking the elves right in the eye, the dwarves know one thing elves can not resist.


A.... Trade Depot. The dwarfs have found the elves worst nightmare! The elves spot this Trade Depot and rush towards with gleaming excitement. Such excitement they completely disregard the raised bridges, magma moats, and bauxite grates.

It was long... It was painful... it was EVIL. The dwarves had smashed the caravans into a PULP! then proceeded to burn them with magma! AHAHAH! Die Dirty elves DIE!!!! AHAHAHA BURN!! BUUUUUURRRN! AHAHA PULL THE LEVER AGAIN, SON! PULL IT AGAIN!!!



... *caugh* ahem. *straightens tie* sorry about that. carry on.
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