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[NUKE9.13]

>Eat darkness

[inaluct]

You don't see any windows, or any darkness. You'll have to improvise. You pin the mouse up against the wall and demand that it tells you where the drugs are, but it isn't talking. Maybe THIS will get it to talk!? You throw the mouse down the staircase.

>_

Your original suspicions were correct; this darkness is delicious. Unfortunately, in the process of eating it, you got it all over your snapping jaws and slavering fangs.

>_

[woose1]

>Fish around in pockets to see if you have any more "Materials" left.

[NUKE9.13]

>Equip friendly jaws and happy fangs

[inaluct]

You search your pockets for useful objects. You find a printed sheet detailing the bounties and known whereabouts of your intended targets, including the deceased mouse. You also find an unused mouse trap in your pocket.

>_

You unequip your slavering fangs and snapping jaws and equip your friendly jaws and happy fangs. You feel more charismatic.

>_

[Dragooble]

>attempt to obtain psychic powers

[NUKE9.13]

>attempt to obtain psychic powers

Aiding the derailing of your own thread?
Anyway:

>Awake from my century-long slumber

[woose1]

>Try to talk your way out of the situation by going back to the mean adventurer.

[inaluct]

You concentrate deeply on unlocking your psychic potential. You feel a sudden wave of thought wash over you as your vision begins to acquire a bluish tinge. You can vaguely feel the ground rumbling.

>_

A weak, ephemeral burst of psychic energy awakens you from you antediluvian slumber. You are in a massive, dark, damp room. There is a tiny wooden door on one wall. You shift slightly.

>_

You decide to use diplomacy to get out of this situation. As you head up the stairs, you are knocked off of your feet by a sudden jolt in the ground. You dust yourself off and continue up to the adventurer. The adventurer is holding a piece of a chair and staring off into space with a determined look. It's pupils are hugely dilated.

>_

[NUKE9.13]

>Agress grue

[Frelock]

>Agress adventurer

[Duke 2.0]

>Agress reality

[woose1]

Agress isn't a word.... 

[inaluct]

You see a twisted, shambling mass of teeth and claws advancing towards you through your psychic haze. It lunges towards you with a hideous, eldritch screech. You pound at it with your chair leg even as you feel it's claws sink into your flesh. Your adrenaline addled mind grows faint as you feel the fabric of reality begin to unravel...

You lung forward at the unwary adventurer, baring your friendly jaws and happy fangs at it. Just before you reach it, it spins towards you with preternatural dexterity and begins rapidly hammering on your skull with it's hunk of wood. You tear into it viciously, trying to stop the barrage of blows from it's chair leg. Suddenly, you feel a strange force permeate reality...

You have slept for long enough. The piteous surface dwellers have had their time. Now it is time to end it. You unleash a powerful corrupting force that twists reality into a hurtling spiral. You feel your mind fade...

You wake up in front of your hovel, dizzy and disoriented. Your carapace feels heavy, and your ten legs lethargic. Looking up, you see the leaves of  the coconut tree that grows near your home, and above that, the rocky lip of the deep sinkhole you live in. Above that, a shadowy avian figure glides across the cloudy night sky, silhouetted by the moonlit shining off the dark cumulonimbus that is currently drifting above your area.

>_

[woose1]

>Become one with nature/Smoke your secret stash.