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[Aqizzar]

> quickly retrieve arms

This is going to be the best derail ever.

[inaluct]

You cannot see any arms. Your clever reference floats harmlessly off into the darkness.

>_

[Cheeetar]

South-west.

[Armok]

> Ride doorknob like a mechanical bull!

or

> Fondly regard doorknob.

or

> Agress doorknob whit M-14.

[Hungry]

Rips own arms off, tries to put them back on and dies quitely on the floor...

[Cheeetar]

> Quote MSPaint Adventures copiously.

[Osmosis Jones]

You have been eaten by a grue.

[Aqizzar]

Fine, whatever, we'll do this bitch.

> go upstairs > punch everything

Ironically, this a derail that actually makes the thread more relevant to the board.  Creativity ahoy.

[inaluct]

>Go upstairs.

You head upstairs. You are now in a grimy room with an equally grimy chair in it. There is a grue here.

>Punch everything.

You hit the grue, knocking it over. You hit the chair. You hit the table. The grue starts crying.

You are currently in a grimy room with a grimy table and chair in it. There is a grue here. The grue is crying.

[woose1]

>You lick the Grue.

Oh yes, and to stay on topic:

Spoiler: lolcatz (click to show/hide)

[inaluct]

You lick the grue's slavering fangs. It keeps blubbering.

[woose1]

>Frustrated, you decide to....
>You give 50 miligrams of a combination of; Vicatin, Viagra, Cialis, and Tylenol to the Grue.

[inaluct]

You don't have any drugs, so you dump some parmesean cheese all over the grue. It cries even more inconsolably.

>_

[woose1]

>You go and take a visit to your local pharmisist.
>You go outside, to try and find your motorcycle.

[inaluct]

You attempt to leave the mansion, but the door will not open. In a rage, you shake some parmesean cheese at it. It holds firm.

You are in a room. To your north is a dark hallway. To your east is a staircase leading upwards. There is the sound of crying coming from the eastern staircase.

>_