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[Pandarsenic]

The worst part is I didn't invent it. I got it from the MafiaScum Worst Roles Ever topic

HOWEVER

I've drawn some inspiration from that topic so DON'T YOU DARE GO THERE IF YOU'RE IN RM.

I actually went there before you mentioned it...

Well, you're not a player. So you don't count.

And while I'm sure many on this board have been there, if they go there looking for, perhaps, roles I've lifted... there will be blood. Oh yes.

[a1s]

am I right in assuming it's still somehow magically turn 2?

[Servant Corps]

It takes time for me to draw cards and write stuff out, so, er, please wait.

[Tylui]

Tylui=3 Cards
...
Dwarmin gets the Stegosaur. Org and Tylui keeps their "Get There First!" cards though.

If I kept my card, shouldn't I have 4 cards now?

[Servant Corps]

I only have the "keep card" mechanic as a way to deal with the forum game problem. If you keep your card, that means you don't draw another card, since you already have it. So you still have 3 cards, inclding the Get There First! card. Tylui and Org can't draw another card this turn.

[Servant Corps]

1865: Lincoln Assassinated/ Wounded
1868: Andrew Johnson Impeached
1912: Titanic Sinks/ Avoids Iceberg
1914: Archduke Ferdinand Assassinated/ Unharmed in Attack
1915: Lusitania Sinks/ Arrives Safely
1917: US Declares War on Germany
1918: Europe in Ruins after World War I
1929: Stock Market Crashes
1933: The Great Depression
1936: Hitler Opens '36 Olympics/ is Assassinated
1937: Hindenburg Explodes / Bomb Found
1939: Germany Invades Poland
1941: Pearl Harbor Bombed/ Raid on Pearl Harbor Called Off
1942: Final Solution Undertaken
1943: Manhattan Project / Manhattan Project Sabotaged
1944: PARADOXED BY 1937
1945: PARADOXED BY 1943
1948: Israel Founded
1950: Zeppelin Factory Opened in Seoul , Patch will be Nullified if "1937: Hindenburg Explodes" occurs
1957: Sputnik Launched/ Rocket Explodes on Pad
1962: PARADOXED BY 1943
1963: JFK Assassinated/ Injured in Motorcade Shooting
1968: MLK and RFK Assassinated
1969: Apollo-11 Lands on Moon
1974: Nixon Resigns
1981: Reagan Wounded/ Assassinated
1986: Challenger Explodes
1991: Soviet Union Collapses
1993: Waco Compound Burns to Ground/ Standoff Defused Peacefully
1995: Oklahoma City Bombing
1999: Columbine High School Massacre
2001: September 11th/Terrorist Plot Prevented
2003: Iraq War
2007: The "Credit Crisis" Recession
2010: Israeli-Iranian War
2012: Nothing Happens

Only three paradoxes. Relatively stable.

Artifact List:
Squeegy:

Mona Lisa (Artifact)
(An Obivous Forgery)
Can be passed off as the real thing if no others are in play

Crown of Thorns (Artifact)
Originally worn by You Know Who
Recovered from Easter, 33 AD

Dwarmin:

Live Stegosaurus (Artifact)
His name is Steggy

Webadict:

Videotape of the Creation of the Universe (Artifact)
Now On Betamax!
Recovered from Year Zero

Spoiler: Discard Pile (click to show/hide)

New Mission (Action)
Swap your Secret Mission with someone else's, or discard it and draw a new one.

1917': President Wilson Keeps US Out of War (Patch)
Just like he said he would

2 Get There First cards

Get There First (Action)
Go back in time to just before the moment when your opponent received an artifact and collect it for yourself.

Steal an Artifact

5 Reverse Fates

Reverse Fate: (Inverter)
Flip any Linchpin

Quick Trip Into The Future (Timewarp)
Scurry into the Future to get what you need then come back to this exact moment so that noone knows you were gone.

Look through the draw pile and choose a card (other than a Timewarp). Re-shuffle the deck (not including the discard pile) and play the card.

OOC: If you use this card, tell me your top three choices of what you are looking for, and I'll find the Card for you.

1948B: State of Palestine Declares Indepedence, Defeats Israel (Patch)
(Cannot happen if the event "1942: Final Solution Undertaken" occurs)
(Patch will automatically Paradoxes 2010!)

Rewind (Timewarp)
Remove any card (except another Timewarp) from the discard pile, and immediately play it.
(Anyone may look through the discard pile at any time.)

EDIT: If you need a refresher of what your Hand currently is, just PM me and I'll dig that information up.

[Pandarsenic]

Tokyo, 1945

Oliver grimaced. He'd expected a massacre, and it was what he'd gotten. He'd taken weeks (though time meant little to him) fabricating communications to arrange the invasion of Tokyo.

He twisted a knob on his stopwatch. He couldn't observe the bloodshed dispassionately and dismiss it as necessity. They were human lives, and they were on his hands.

"This is a terrible responsibility we have," he muttered to himself, sitting atop a roof in Victorian England. He sprawled out on the roof. "I have just will had been dooming so many people to their deaths, but the alternative was the atomic bomb or a paradox..." He shook his head. "No. My resolve must remain strong. We must take this burden so others don't." He stood atop the roof. He inhaled to yell and was stopped by another of himself.

"Don't yell that," his other self advised, disappearing.

Oliver frowned. "For every thousand deaths, I - and they - save infinitely more who will never have had been having existed if the sacrifice was not made." He went back in time a second to calm himself down, advising himself, "Don't yell that," and disappeared. There was work to be done....

[Dwarmin]

Year: December 25, 1970 AD, 3:08 PM
Place: USA, Louisiana, Pontchartrain Bridge

Dale got out of his car and hefted the bulky painting over the edge, and…

There was a flash of light and Dale appeared. They exchanged Greetings. “Someone’s going to be along to take that Mona Lisa you got there, about 1 or 2 minutes from now. I don’t have much…time…so I’ll make it quick. We will be needing the girl, so hold onto her. Also be careful trying to get the steg…” His form faltered and Dale disappeared and…

It was a very nice fake of the Mona Lisa, and useless to him. Well it should be, but his future self had just told him to keep it for some reason. Dale gave a few moments wondering if he could trust himself...but...He was more annoyed that he had killed someone for it…some people just don’t listen to reason. Before he left he tossed a small black object down into the river, laughing as he did so. Quite entertaining!

He walked back to his truck, meaning to drive into town and enjoy some Cajun while here.

Year: December 19, 1981 AD, 8:40 PM
Place: Spain, Balearic Islands, Palma de Mallorca

Dale opened his bag (a bag in the sense that it looked like an ordinary leather briefcase but held an infinite amount of space) and saw the Mona lisa which he didn't throw away that night. For some reason he had felt worried about it. "Can I get something more to drink here?" He asked the waiter.

[a1s]

Time: February 19, 1992 AD, midinght.
Place: St. Petersburg

A lone figure approaches the National State Museum of Art. A shifty man in a trench coat comes out of the shadows to meet him.
-So yu vant Ai Penting, yes?
-Yes -answers the figure- I want the Mona Lisa, where is it?
-Ah-ah, mai American frent, buks fierst, penting leter.
The figure reluctantly pulls out a wad of dollars. Curiously the wad mostly consisted of 10000 dollar bills depicting Generalissimo James Polk, but it was hard to see that in this lighting.
-now, show me the paining.
The man pulled out a roll of paper, and unrolled it. It was indeed the Mona Lisa. He then rolled it up again and exchanged it for the roll of money. Having counted the omney, the man pulled out a gun, and... was hit by a weird metallic car traveling at speeds way to high for inner city traffic. After the car stopped, a figure much like the previous one came out of it.
-thanks -said one of the figures - I owe me one.
-don't mention it.
-hey! this Mona Lisa is fake!
-It's a pretty excellent forgery though.
-let's just get out of here.
The figures got into the car and rode away with the Mona Lisa, forgetting the wad of 'excellently forged' dollars by the corpse...

[Pandarsenic]

That's awesome, a1s.

[Dwarmin]

Inspiration A1s?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Keed's gut alligeetur blut. Can't get reed of heem!

[Squeegy]

Time: December 25, 1970 AD, 3:13 PM
Place: USA, Louisiana, Pontchartrain Bridge
Mason glanced over to where the man should have been by now. He wasn't coming. Mason grimaced, then took out a small device. "Well then," he said to himself, "If they're going to play dirty, I can play dirty too."

[Servant Corps]

I have received orders from 8 people.

I am waiting for one of the people who have sent me an order to reply me back.

That why there hasn't been an update.

[Org]

He had the videotape! The other fool had taken the decoy, just as he had planned. These idiots really are bad, he thought to himself. He let loose a laugh, fell and terrible!

[Xenomorph]

Walter adjusted a setting on his CTU, preparing for his next action.

He'd need to get it serviced.  Spare parts were a problem right now, but for the moment, his destination was Headquarters.

But while he was heading that way, perhaps he could go a little further...

He'd need to check the Archives first, though.