Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Hamster Man]

I know there's a million topics for "best fort" or "best artifact", but not near enough "best -dur- moments". It'll make the newbs feel better, I'm sure.

Probably one of my better ones happened just today. My dwarves weren't moving seeds, roasts, or drink even letting it rot in the kitchens. I couldn't for the life of me figure out what was going on, so in desperation, I dumped it all in my garbage disposal (a trapdoor over a magma vent), hoping the bugged items disappearing would fix it. But it didn't!!

About a season later, I figured out I had turned "Forbid Food" on. DURRRR.

[Xehon]

He, he...

I just lately had a elite marksdorf go beserk because she lost a spouse in a siege lately. So, she goes up to a furnace operator, does some redecorating with his brains and internal organs on my city walls and then she cheers up after repainting my main entrance and continues her stroll along the main road. Anticipating unrest in the military because of recent losses I made a hammerdorf the Captain of the Guard, so the guard could deal with the potentially very dangerous military of mine. Uh-huh, bad idea. My dear captain pops up and puts the marksdorf's head between his hammer and the obsidian road, giving his personal finishing touches to the redecoration of my entrance by making the road a lovely blood red paint job. Moral of the story: don't hire another Hammerer unless you hate your dorfs.

[(name here)]

So, once a fort of mine was attacked by humans. They came in 5 squads, one with a ranged local leader. Now, to break the seige i figured i'd just have to destroy part of the army. I picked the ones with crossbows, the second of which was lead by a spearmaster.

There is a thread related to how well that turned out. It's called, "Beware Ranged Local Leaders"

[Heron TSG]

No, of course water doesn't move in diagonals! Digging a section diagonal to the river won't harm the fortress!

[reubend]

I just found out that in order to dump something that's outside, you have to have them "gather refuse from outside". I've been trying to dump that stuff for several years...

[Wizardmon]

I just found out that in order to dump something that's outside, you have to have them "gather refuse from outside". I've been trying to dump that stuff for several years...

This.

I have had fields of dead unicorns that got dropped whilst hunters hauled them back, except no one wanted to grab them after they got let go.

15 years later I find out about the setting, and all 100 of my useless peasants rush out in a flurry to grab thousands of unicorn bolts.

(I use peasants as haulers while the other 20 dwarfs farm and fish my way to a surplus of food. sometimes I switch them off to have the haulers take a stab at it to see if I can get any more legendary cooks/brewers/growers/fishers.)

[Arvidsem]

I've destroyed my last two forts by cutting the magma tube that feeds the forges in half with exploratory mining. Given my general fort design, if the magma reaches a intersection (which it will) it'll be almost impossible to stop.

[AncientEnemy]

I had a fort i spent like an hour trying to figure out why none of my dwarves were doing -anything- except hauling stuff about.

i had forbidden all stone except bauxite (in order to make it into mechanisms) and all my workshops were constructed from the other types of stone, and therby forbidden as well.

[Creamcorn]

Dammit why won't my bridge crush my adventurers in adventure mode!

[ADVENTURER_TRAPS:NO]

[ZergSpartan]

While connecting up the series of drawbridges in front of my fortress to a lever I accidently connected said lever to the floodgate controlling my farm flooding aquaduct.
Cue me pulling the lever during a siege and my fortress starting to flood, seeing as the lever was at the bottom of my fortress it was underwater before anything else. 
Now I couldnt even get to the lever to lower the drawbridges to get my dwarves out. So i try to build another lever, no dice, all the mechanisms and workshops are underwater and so's my stone pit/stockpile.
So my dwarfs are left with the choice of drowning or being shot up by the gobbo siege after being washed into my moat by the floodwaters.

TLDR: Check that you levers are set up right before pulling them for the first time, Duh.

[Rysith]

Once upon a time, I had a fortress. At the back of the entrance hall I placed fortifications, so that my marksdwarves could shoot down the entrance hall at approaching enemies.

Behind that (and some floodgate "blast doors") was my main storage area/trade area/etc. and the main hallway between the workshops and the bedrooms.

My first siege (with orcs), I ended up with a ranged squad. They quickly killed off my marksdwarves and happily sat behind the fortifications, spraying the transit corridor with arrows as the dwarves ran back and forth across it. It was like a shooting gallery. The hastily-drafted other marksdwarves were unable to clear them out.

Yes, fortifications do work both ways.

[Kroack]

What do you mean legendary hammerdwarves can fall into ponds whilst fighting giant bats, and thus drown?

[Org]

What do you mean [FIRE_IMMUNE_SUPER] Doesn't help my dwarves against dragon fire?

[Bromor Neckbeard]

One of my first fortresses fell when I decided to put a waterfall in my dining room.  To make sure that I got the most benefit out of the waterfall, I constructed the dining room such that the dwarves had to pass through it to get from their living quarters to the rest of the fort.  However, once the waterfall drained into the reservoir below the dining hall, I assumed that it would just evaporate, and didn't provide a way to forcibly remove the water from the reservoir.

Naturally, the dining room flooded, and most of the dwarves that didn't immediately drown while eating dinner were trapped in their rooms to contemplate the quickly rising water and figure out a way to breathe it.

[Tradanbattlan]

I had dug a moat around my fortress, dug directly down and then out.
Dwarfy McDwarf cancelled Mine: Damp Stone Located.
So, I get kinda bummed out, and realise that I had no other materials besides that wood.
On the other side of the moat.
And then I got mad.
And then I was sieged.
By humans with crossbows.