The lines only appear blurry. Anyone (mature enough) can look at a parent and say whether they're doing too much or not enough. People were more mature then (hard not to be) and were actually taught how to rear children. Most people these days are just told how to make them and have to figure out raising them on their own (which is stupid).
Yeah. Anyone mature enough can look at a parent and say whether they are doing too much or not enough. The issue is that
I may be saying too much while
you are saying not enough even when we are looking at the exact same parent with all the same information. Neither of us is necessarily wrong on this matter: it is a matter of priorities and strategy.
I, for example, figure that the point of childhood is to get all the stupid out of your system early and supplying you with what passes for common sense
well before you have a chance of causing any real damage through your mistakes. You may, though I don't want to put words in your mouth, feel that the role of childhood is one of careful instruction while keeping the child safe from any significant chance of physical or emotional trauma. Its the Shadows vs Vorlons argument: I lean towards the Shadows.
In the old days, things varied a lot depending on the culture and where in the pecking order your family was. A child born to a noble family would be raised by nannies and rarely even see his or her biological parents... but the thing would be watched like a hawk. In a peasant's hovel, where most families had to endure prior to the modern age and where many
still endure, it was a different story. They would receive as little attention as the parents could afford to give it without it being eaten by wild dogs because both parents were too busy with the task of not starving. Subsistence agriculture requires
everybody's best efforts. As soon as the child was old enough to stand, he would be working in the fields for twelve hours a day just like the parents.
In the rare, and I mean
damn rare, middle class family you might be apprenticed out to somebody who knows a trade. This typically meant many beatings in the course of instruction to emphasize points rather than as punishments and near slavery. They figured that they could
literally beat the sense into the boy rather than wasting time letting him figure things out himself.