Blech,what a boring turn...
Turn 4!normal driving. i didn't know i had ale on the car...
i'll whip boars to get faster.my henchdwarf will drop on the ground a land mine, as close to the nearest racer as possible
You whip your boars fiercely,and they respond,dragging your vehicle forward with great determination,you plow through the sand drift with ease.
Your henchdwarf drops a mine,nothing much special there.
a5,whip 'em good!(+1 speed bonus)
Mine?=4,2 mines left
c6+2=6
s5,sand drift does nothing to stop you!
I throw useless junk out of my wagon so that I can go faster. Normal driving
You chuck some random light weight items off your racer,but it seems to do nothing worth mentioning.
You move along.
a3,you throw stuff but it doesn't seem to do anything.
c3+2=5
s3+2=5
I sing songs to the boars, in an attempt to make them go faster. Good songs. About boars. And them being heroes.
You sing with all your breath,but your singing does nothing,as they are boars.
a3,they are boars,they don't understand
c4+2=6
s6+2=6,progress two?=2(no)
Webadict suffers the unfortunate condition of 'beinginthesamesquareasme', symptoms of which include: pain in the eye-region, lack of vision, holes in the side of your racer, and a tendency to get rammed of the course.
Sounds unpleasant,but I'm sure this condition wont be effecting anyone when you do nothing,try ramming,that sounds like a good idea...
a3,there is no ramming
c6-1=5
s2+1=3,slow but steady
In any case, I will make a manly speech to Prime and Alpha, referring to Beta's noble sacrifice, how we must carry on, how he would have wanted us to win, how we must honor his memory by winning the race, yada yada, you know, the usual.
Then drive normally with Prime and Alpha giving it their all. We cannot lose due to the death of our friend! (seriously, drama demands that we must win)
You let loose a poorly structured babble of demoralizing stories that saps the will of your noble henchdwarves,they now seem to be in a poor mood,possibly enough to lash out if they are further annoyed.
a1,your speech saps the will out of your henchdwarves,(-1 speed until end of race)
c4+2=6
s6+1=6,progress two?=6(yes!)
Eh, my turn then...damn you RNG-the Gods are fickle today!Channel the spirt of Boatmurdered to help me (or put me out of my misery)
Using Driving focus...mooooove forrrrwaaard
Yeah spirit of boatmurdered,great,well you do drive along so not all is bad.
aX,no action roll,driving focus overrides that
cX,auto success
s4+3=6,progress two?=3(no)
Okay, changing my action. I distract the other racers with my crazy new avatar!
Although it is rather shicking to see such a iconic figure replaced by,that...
Thing,the other racers appear to focused in driving to the finish.
You notice a object drop out from andrea's vehicle up ahead.
It just attached to your vehicle!The Lagwagon rumbles and thrashes as the landmine breaks the normal movement of the wheels!
a3,no one pays attention to it(despite in reality being shocked and disgusted)
c6+1=6
s2+2=4
Mine attach?=4,-1 cornering and speed until you manage to pry this thing off
I intend to convert the remains of my vehicle into a small, mini-furnace powered motorcycle that'll be launched by the ballista into the fray again. This might take two turns.
After all that reorganization you appear to have basically reconstructed the same vehicle from the parts,noticing this failure you proceed to drive to the first stretch(finally!)
a2,you are not launched,your vehicle remains as it was(I was really looking forward to that
)
c5-1+4
s4,well you do progress,good luck winning though...
Background:1,A group of giant scorpions are on the road!(half chance of stoping your racer cold and inflicting a damage roll)
Map:
S _ _ _ _ _≈_S_ _ _
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
250dbBag of minessand driftGiant scorpionsStatuses:-webadict
Driving:Aggressive
Position:Square 4
Wheels:
-Spiked iron-
Engine:
-boars-
Armor:
-refractive-
Stats:[snow immune]+3 cornering,+2 to ramming,+1 to speed,+1 all,+3 burning/heat
Cash:0db
-NUKE9.13
Driving:Normal
Position:Square 4
Wheels:
-spiked wood-
Armor:
-wood-
Engine:
-cats-
Armor add on:
-Spikes-
Stats:[snow immune][ram retaliation]+1 cornering,+2 to ramming,+1 to ram damage
Damage:-1 cornering
Bonuses:+1 speed this race
Current stats:+2 to ramming,+1 to ram damage,+1 speed this race
Cash:150db
-andrea
Driving:Normal
Position:Square 6
Wheels:
-Spiked iron-
-gripping mesh-
Armor:
-iron-
Engine:
-boars-
Weapons:
-Rock mugs-
Bag of mines,3 uses left
henchdwarves:
-basic henchdwarf-
Stats:[snow immune]+4 cornering,+2 ramming,+1 speed,+1 all
Cash:0db
-Boksi
Driving:Aggressive
Position:Square 1
Wheels:
-Iron-
Armor:
None
Engine:
-Furnace-
Weapons:
-Ballista-
Stats:+1 to cornering,+2 to speed
Damage:No Armor,-3 speed
Current stats:+1 to cornering,-1 to speed
Cash:0db
-Frelock
Driving:Normal
Position:Square 4
Wheels:
-iron-
Armor:
-iron-
Engine:
-henchdwarf screw pump engine-
Henchdwarves:
-basic henchdwarf- x3(alpha,beta,and prime),Beta is dead
Stats:+2 to cornering,+1 to all damage,+1/2/3 to speed
Damage:Sapped henchdwarf will(-1 speed until end of race)
Current stats:+2 to cornering,+1 to all damage,+0/1 to speed
Cash:0db
-Aqizzar
Driving:Aggressive
Position:Square 5
Wheels:
-Iron-
Armor:
-Iron-
Engine:
-Henchdwarf screw pump engine-
Henchdwarves:
-1 basic(Cog)(dead)-
-1 crazy(Mad Olan)-
Weapons:
-Hook,Rope,and anchor-
Stats:+2 Cornering,+1 all,+1/2 Speed
Damage:1 dead Cog,attached mine(-1 cornering and speed)
Current stats:+1 Cornering,+1 all
-1 sabotage
Cash:0db
-Dwarmin
Driving:Aggressive
Position:Square 2
Wheels:
-rigged wood-
Armor:
-Wood-
Engine:
-Furnace-
Weapons:
-fire imp in a box-
Henchdwarfs:
-1 Gunner(Mofo)(radiation sickness,no crewed weapon bonus)-
Stats:[snow immune]+2 Speed
Cash:0db
-Rooster
Driving:Normal
Position:Square 2
Wheels:
-iron-
Armor:
-wood-
Engine:
-boars-
Armor add on:
-stream-lining-
Stats:+2 cornering,+2 speed
Carrying 250db!
Cash:250db
If you notice my narration didn't have much spark,don't be surprised as I feel less in the mood.