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[inaluct]

"Look, we want you to   d e l i v e r   a   m e s s a g e   to the Earl. Nobody needs to get in or out. All we need is you, who are already INSIDE the wall to take our message to the Earl, who is also INSIDE the wall. Do you understand?"

[Squeegy]

The guard looks at you strangely. "You funny in the head or summit? I'm outside the castle wall."

[inaluct]

"Ooooooh. I know what you want. I have many beautiful sisters, and you are a man who prefers rewards of the flesh, yes?"

((I was addressing the guy standing in the wall behind the gate. Hence the words "gate controller." Oh well.))

[WorkerDrone]

Stop cheating Squeegy. Also, please, some one just knock out the guard for Gods sake.

[R1ck]

Even if we knock out the guard, we won't be able to get in. Unless the castle has a secret entrance that he has the keys for.

[Squeegy]

Stop cheating Squeegy. Also, please, some one just knock out the guard for Gods sake.

I wasn't cheating. There's no one in earshot behind the gate, and the guard was always standing outside.

[inaluct]

"Look, the news we bring is of tremendous importance. You'll have to help us get in, since no one is within earshot on the other side."

[Squeegy]

The guard coughs and says, "E'en if I could get in, which I can't, what woul' I tell the Earl? He says, absolutely no visitors. Nobody leaves, nobody gets in. No exceptions. At all."

[inaluct]

"Under penalty of what?"

[Squeegy]

The guard coughs. "You know what. 'Orrible, painful... yeah."

[inaluct]

"Excuse us for a moment."

Captain Inaluct forms a huddle so only he and his men can hear the conversation.

"Okay, the way I see it, there are a few things we can do; we can write a message on something and throw it over the wall, we can risk death to bring important news to an ungrateful earl by climbing the wall, or we can throw the severed head over the wall and become mercenaries."

[R1ck]

How about writing a message on the head, then throwing it over the wall. That ought to get their attention.

[Cheeetar]

"No. We go in, and tell our earl what has happened. What becomes of us later is of no consequence. Even if I must die to deliver the message, I shall do it. You may come with me, or not."
I enter the castle to tell the earl of what has happened.

[Squeegy]

As you attempt to enter the castle, you bang comically into the closed portcullis.

[inaluct]

"So... Human ladder, or Rick's plan?"