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[Phazer]

that magazine is damn creepy

[Siquo]

... It is.

Tear my eyes away from it, and put it on the front of my armor, using the magnet-medal. That should give my enemies and extra round of confusion while I stab them 

Go Upstairs!

[NUKE9.13]

fairysplosion

Yaaaay!
My life has meaning!

[Vlynndar]

I hypnotise the guard as well. See me later in the loony bin, folks!

[Siquo]

fairysplosion

Yaaaay!
My life has meaning!

Had.

[JoshuaFH]

Sorry guys, I feel really depressed and down, and I can't think straight, so that's why the daily update didn't occur. I'll definitely update tomorrow.

[Vlynndar]

Sorry guys, I feel really depressed and down, and I can't think straight, so that's why the daily update didn't occur. I'll definitely update tomorrow.

Maybe some annihilation of characters will cheer you up.

[Siquo]

Yeah CJ! Kill us all! 

It'll make you feel better. Killing some peasants: Prozac for Nobles.

[Phazer]

you could always read some Playgnome

[JoshuaFH]

... It is.

Tear my eyes away from it, and put it on the front of my armor, using the magnet-medal. That should give my enemies and extra round of confusion while I stab them 

Go Upstairs!

You go upstairs!



Hmm, nothing appears to be up here. There is nobody here, and there is no stairway to the next floor.

Then the wall rumbles...



A giant face has appeared on the wall!

"What brings such pathetic creatures to my domain? Why do you come here mortal? Answer quickly, for my patience is thin, and your lives are short."

What do you do?

I hypnotise the guard as well. See me later in the loony bin, folks!

You unsuccessfully attempt to hypnotize the guard. You lunge to open the cage!



The cage doesn't budge, you notice a small keyhole on the top of the cage. It appears the cages are locked!

Who would have thought?

"You are really daft! Now stop messing with the barrogs, my job is only made harder if they're angry."

What do you do?

[Siquo]

"What brings me here? A deathwish, a hangover, a duke, a pit-trap, a dwarf, a Giant Cave Spider, a backstabbing ugly faerielover who really had it coming, an entire army led by faeries, now in ruins, imps, this guy next to me, and a gnome. We wish to go upstairs, oh mighty one."

Nuke: Fixed. 

[NUKE9.13]

"What brings me here? A deathwish, a hangover, a duke, a pit-trap, a dwarf, a Giant Cave Spider, an entire army led by faeries, now in ruins, imps, this guy next to me, and a gnome. We wish to go upstairs, oh mighty one."

And now I don't even get a mention. I saved you from the river you bastard.
My life has lost meaning.
EDIT:

a backstabbing ugly faerielover who really had it coming
Nuke: Fixed. 

UGLY?
I HAD AN EXPRESSION OF PERMANENT STONEDNESS. EVEN IN DEATH MY FEATURES SUGGEST I KNOW THE BIG SECRET.
But thank you nonetheless.
My life has regained much of it's lost meaning.

[Vlynndar]

I visit the soldier tent.

[CJ1145]

Yeah CJ! Kill us all! 

Wait, what?

Also, based on the mortality rate, what's the time I'd have to wait to get into this? It sounds almost as hilarious as being the God of Caves!

[zchris13]

Can I play guitar?

"All Along the Watchtower", Jimi Hendrix version.

Followed by "Freebird".  30 min guitar solo version.