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Author Topic: Peasant Adventure! The World of Suffering!  (Read 85021 times)

Siquo

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Re: Peasant Adventure! A Deadly Journey!
« Reply #870 on: May 11, 2009, 04:24:04 am »

He's just going to laugh while you're floating upside-down (peasant-style-swimming), drowning in the river, being eaten by flying carp.

Place your bets here! Is he eaten first, or will he drown first?

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This one thread is mine. MIIIIINE!!! And it will remain a happy, friendly, encouraging place, whether you lot like it or not. 
will rena,eme sique to sique sxds-- siquo if sucessufil
(cant spel siqou a. every speling looks wroing (hate this))

JoshuaFH

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Re: Peasant Adventure! A Deadly Journey!
« Reply #871 on: May 11, 2009, 04:26:17 am »

Take cover. Fire crossbow at imps. Deadly journey my ass (if I had a donkey, that is), the dice of the Gods make me invincible! For the Duke!

You fire at an imp from long range!

Roll: 2 (2 + 3 = 5)

and deal 5 damage! The first imp has 10 hp now. You have 18 arrows left.

The Imp yells at you!

"Thanks alot jerk! We were just deciding who would put in the last ingredient, imp blood!"

The imp sprinkles some of the blood from his wound into the purple container.



The symbol on the ground glows brightly and the ground is beginning to shake.

What do you do?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Oh no. Oh, no no no. I'm not falling for that one.
"My good man, I regrettably am unable to pay this toll. As I am, sadly, not intelligent I can't answer your riddles either. Thank you for your time, but I will swim."

And I will do so.

You, deciding that dealing with a troll is probably a bad idea, opt to jump into the river and swim across!

However, while you have the life jacket, which enables to you float, it does not enable you to swim.

You are floating downstream.

You are helpless as the current carries you to an unknown destination!



What will become of poor hopeless town retard Vlynndar?

> Demand refund for tin whistle, while running in circles around the shop being chased by the bear.

You demand a refund for this blatant misadvertisement!

"Sorry bub, no refunds. Besides, it's welded to your hand for crying out loud!"

This makes you so angry, if only you lived in a society whose laws were constructed to disallow businesses from taking advantage of consumers!

The bear is not interested in attacking you, for you've been good lately.

What do you do?

Logged

Vlynndar

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Re: Peasant Adventure! A Deadly Journey!
« Reply #872 on: May 11, 2009, 04:40:04 am »

I merrily float along. I also open my umbrella, for some reason.
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For that viciously bad pun, I'm gonna introduce a NPC named Vlynndar just so that I can kill him of in a cruel and unusual way.
Watermelons are pretty important.

Siquo

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Re: Peasant Adventure! A Deadly Journey!
« Reply #873 on: May 11, 2009, 05:02:20 am »

The bear is a pet! Useful!

"Manure!" (Tack Jhompson-approved swearword)

I fire again! At the purple container!
Logged

This one thread is mine. MIIIIINE!!! And it will remain a happy, friendly, encouraging place, whether you lot like it or not. 
will rena,eme sique to sique sxds-- siquo if sucessufil
(cant spel siqou a. every speling looks wroing (hate this))

Vlynndar

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Re: Peasant Adventure! A Deadly Journey!
« Reply #874 on: May 12, 2009, 02:36:08 am »

As a note, I decided to walk into every trap thrown at me. In the interest of fun.
Logged
For that viciously bad pun, I'm gonna introduce a NPC named Vlynndar just so that I can kill him of in a cruel and unusual way.
Watermelons are pretty important.

JoshuaFH

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Re: Peasant Adventure! A Deadly Journey!
« Reply #875 on: May 12, 2009, 05:27:43 am »

The bear is a pet! Useful!

"Manure!" (Tack Jhompson-approved swearword)

I fire again! At the purple container!


You fire at the container,



You ignite the volatile contents of the container. You, and everyone else in a 10 miles radius, are vaporized instantly in the explosion. You lose forever.

...

...

...

Just kidding.

The arrow bounces harmlessly off the container. It would appear that the imps don't skimp out when it comes to the things containing whatever valuable stuff they have. You now have 17 arrows.

The ground is shaking more violently now. The imps are standing around, as if waiting for something to happen.

What do you do?

I merrily float along. I also open my umbrella, for some reason.

You continue floating downstream, in fact, you float downstream so far you aren't techically in the Dukedom of Earl anymore!



You think of opening your umbrella for no reason, but then Josh forgets to draw it open.



You see a stranger in the distance.



The stranger, with great skill, has thrown a grappling hook at you, and caught it on your sleeve. He is now pulling you towards the shore.

What do you do?
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Siquo

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Re: Peasant Adventure! A Deadly Journey!
« Reply #876 on: May 12, 2009, 06:19:17 am »

Damn. I wanted a nuclear explosion. Or tip over the cauldron.

Fire at the same imp again. Then run towards them and topple the container.
Logged

This one thread is mine. MIIIIINE!!! And it will remain a happy, friendly, encouraging place, whether you lot like it or not. 
will rena,eme sique to sique sxds-- siquo if sucessufil
(cant spel siqou a. every speling looks wroing (hate this))

Vlynndar

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Re: Peasant Adventure! A Deadly Journey!
« Reply #877 on: May 12, 2009, 09:07:11 am »

I let him pull me ashore and greet him.

(Whoohoo, I boldy went where none had gone before!)
Logged
For that viciously bad pun, I'm gonna introduce a NPC named Vlynndar just so that I can kill him of in a cruel and unusual way.
Watermelons are pretty important.

Siquo

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Re: Peasant Adventure! A Deadly Journey!
« Reply #878 on: May 12, 2009, 09:23:26 am »

Give the Faundians my regards...
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This one thread is mine. MIIIIINE!!! And it will remain a happy, friendly, encouraging place, whether you lot like it or not. 
will rena,eme sique to sique sxds-- siquo if sucessufil
(cant spel siqou a. every speling looks wroing (hate this))

Squeegy

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Re: Peasant Adventure! A Deadly Journey!
« Reply #879 on: May 12, 2009, 09:59:15 am »

> pet bear, search body for food
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I think I'm an alright guy. I just wanna live until I gotta die. I know I'm not perfect, but God knows I try.
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JoshuaFH

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Re: Peasant Adventure! A Deadly Journey!
« Reply #880 on: May 13, 2009, 09:08:39 pm »

Damn. I wanted a nuclear explosion. Or tip over the cauldron.

Fire at the same imp again. Then run towards them and topple the container.

You ready your crossbow to fire at the imp again, but then a giant tower jets out of the ground!



You can hear cackling coming from the top of the tower.

You look at your map, to see that it has changed.



The tower has been placed where the symbol was.

What do you do?

I let him pull me ashore and greet him.

(Whoohoo, I boldy went where none had gone before!)

You are pulled ashore.



He speaks to you,

"Hey, I just saw you floating down and I thought I'd help ya, us slaves have to stick together ya know."

What do you do?

> pet bear, search body for food

You pet the bear, the bear enjoys being petted.

Search who's body?

What do you do?
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Squeegy

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Re: Peasant Adventure! A Deadly Journey!
« Reply #881 on: May 13, 2009, 09:24:06 pm »

my own body

I ask the bear if it is a circus bear
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I think I'm an alright guy. I just wanna live until I gotta die. I know I'm not perfect, but God knows I try.
Kobold Name Generator
⚔Dueling Blades⚔
Fertile Lands
The Emerald Isles

JoshuaFH

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Re: Peasant Adventure! A Deadly Journey!
« Reply #882 on: May 13, 2009, 09:25:47 pm »

my own body

I ask the bear if it is a circus bear

You search your body for food.

You have no food.

You ask the bear if it is a circus bear.

It does not reply.

What do you do?
Logged

The Mad Engineer

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Re: Peasant Adventure! A Deadly Journey!
« Reply #883 on: May 13, 2009, 10:07:20 pm »

You must ride the bear like a mechanical bull!

Squeegy

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Re: Peasant Adventure! A Deadly Journey!
« Reply #884 on: May 13, 2009, 11:48:23 pm »

> retrieve arms from bear
Logged
I think I'm an alright guy. I just wanna live until I gotta die. I know I'm not perfect, but God knows I try.
Kobold Name Generator
⚔Dueling Blades⚔
Fertile Lands
The Emerald Isles
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