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[NUKE9.13]

Ok, first check if the fairies want to eat human flesh.
If yes: Go to barracks, let fairies eat left hand/fingers on left hand if I have any.
If no: Throw up (by sticking hand/finger down throat), feed fairies vomit.

[JoshuaFH]

((LOL @ meanwhile ))

"Nah thanks, some other time."

Go to the barracks or armory (whichever seems more likely to accept an application) to see if they need help in the fight!

You go to the barracks,



The place is littered with the bodies of the dead and dying. A large man is yelling at everyone angrily.

"DON'T YOU LITTLE GIRLS DIE ON ME NOW! THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT BATTLE OF YOUR LIVES. DON'T DIE ON ME NOW!"

The man looks at you,

"Who are you?! I don't care, take whatever weapons and armor you find and get to the southwest gate! This is the most violent and determined attack we've ever seen! We can't lose this Fort!"

What do you do?

"Hello bob. Lets go to the motel!"

You and Bob go to the Motel,



Inside is a man with no arms and an eye-patch.

"Hey, it's one gold for any room. Get a room or get out."

What do you do?

Ok, first check if the fairies want to eat human flesh.
If yes: Go to barracks, let fairies eat left hand/fingers on left hand if I have any.
If no: Throw up (by sticking hand/finger down throat), feed fairies vomit.

You show the baby fairies your hand, they gum on it impotently, trying to get the sweet blood underneath. You prick your hand with a sharp rock and let them nurse on the wound. They each drink a few drops of blood and then fall asleep.

What do you do?

[CloisteredSyrups]

*Sniff*

Our little faeries are growing so fast.

*Tear*

[Zako]

I dare you to poke the no-armed, one eyed man in the eye and steal his stuff.

[Ultimuh]

Hmm.. this is becomming more and more interesting.. Say.. hopw long is the waiting list? Just being curious..

[JoshuaFH]

Hmm.. this is becomming more and more interesting.. Say.. hopw long is the waiting list? Just being curious..

Don't worry, I have plans for the players...

WONDERFUL PLANS!!!

[Emperor_Jonathan]

I blow my fairy whistle for no reason at all.

[Siquo]

Equip! Best armor that I can find, and prefarably both a crossbow (&quiver&bolts) and a sword.

By "find" I mean take it off of some dead guy, unless they got unused stuff lying around.

After that, go to the armory, and upgrade to EVEN BETTER stuff.

[JoshuaFH]

I blow my fairy whistle for no reason at all.

You blow the Fairy Whistle, but this is a populated area, so no Fairies come.

What do you do?

Equip! Best armor that I can find, and prefarably both a crossbow (&quiver&bolts) and a sword.

By "find" I mean take it off of some dead guy, unless they got unused stuff lying around.

After that, go to the armory, and upgrade to EVEN BETTER stuff.

You search the area, and find a +10 suit of armor from one of the dead grunts, a +4 spear, a +3 knife, a +2 axe, a +3 sword, a +1 crossbow, 20 +3 bolts, a bomb, a box of 12 matches, and vial of "complete healing salve".

Which would you like to take?

[CloisteredSyrups]

...

I think I just geargasm'd.

TAKE ALL OF IT. WIELD THE CROSSBOW WITH YOUR TEETH

[Emperor_Jonathan]

"Hey one eyed man, wanna join us?"

[JoshuaFH]

"Hey one eyed man, wanna join us?"

"No! Can't you see I don't have any legs?!"

You look behind the counter, and yep, he doesn't have any legs either. He's just perched up on a stool.

What do you do?

[NUKE9.13]

Ah, I knew it. Well, from the sounds of fighting it sounds like now would be an excellent time to SET THE FORT THE WALL A RANDOM STRANGER ON FIRE.
However, on the basis of my amazing ability to sense loot, I shall go to the barracks first.

[Siquo]

Wear the +10 armor. Wield the +4 spear.
Pocket the crossbow, bolts, vial and bomb.
As armor doesn't count to inventory, that should work.

Now, my extraordinary pre-sense for evil tells me to wait, and kill any looters trying to desecrate the corpses of these valiant warriors.

[CloisteredSyrups]

Amazing.


Not only has an epic boss/superfight/extremus tribute been set up, it's been done in such a way as to turn players against eachother, and with silky thongs no less.

This is arguably better than the Roman Gladiator Games.

I salute thee, Josh!