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[CloisteredSyrups]

That's one happy carp.

[JoshuaFH]

Go to fort lamar.
Inform lamarians of impending GIANT CAVE SPIDER CAVALRY ATTACK.

Yeah go to fort Lamar, and that fish sequence was COOL!

Nuke runs into Fort Lamar yelling and screaming about Spider Cavalry.



Siquo is SO embarrassed!

You look around.



What do you do?

I go to the Church of Seelena.

You go to the church of Saleena, but as you're walking in, you suddenly black out.

You wake up lying on the ground in front of the church.



Derrick catches up with you,

"Sorry, I should have told you that Saleena, who is the goddess of aesthetic appeal, absolutely hates anything that offends her tastes. So ugly or ill-dressed people, like yourself, aren't allowed to enter her church."

What do you do?

That's one happy carp.

Of course it is, he just won the bet that he could jump over the human boat that he made with his fishie friends.

[Emperor_Jonathan]

NO I WANT TO GO INTO THE CHURCH

Go to the exotic store.

[CloisteredSyrups]

@ the Nuke & Siquo path:

Go to catapult.
Turn it around.
Launch yourself into the Arena of Extremus.
Pray to Extremus.

Win.

[Siquo]

I say screw Lamar, let's get on to Piet.

Unless Nuke wants to embarass us somewhat more, then I'll stick around with him. Apologising to the populace for his behaviour.

[NUKE9.13]

What?
No!
I carefully explain about siquo's journey under the forest, and his encounter with the vicious dwarves below, and how siquo was only just able to kill the GCS which was been ridden by an evil dwarven necromancer, and steal his magical thong.
Obviously the dwarves plan to invade, I explain.
Siquo can show them the magical spider silk thong as explanation.

Also: Siquo, if you want to go to piet, be my guest... I have a far more EXTREME way of going there.
It requires invading the dwarves, and stealing their silk.


On account of how my plan requires a parachute.

That catapult is there for a REASON.

[Siquo]

 

But I'm not showing them my thong. I'm wearing it, remember?!

Parachutes are so not extreme, by the way.

I thank Nuke, and will walk to Piet then, alone.

[JoshuaFH]

What?
No!
I carefully explain about siquo's journey under the forest, and his encounter with the vicious dwarves below, and how siquo was only just able to kill the GCS which was been ridden by an evil dwarven necromancer, and steal his magical thong.
Obviously the dwarves plan to invade, I explain.
Siquo can show them the magical spider silk thong as explanation.

Also: Siquo, if you want to go to piet, be my guest... I have a far more EXTREME way of going there.
It requires invading the dwarves, and stealing their silk.


On account of how my plan requires a parachute.

That catapult is there for a REASON.

But I'm not showing them my thong. I'm wearing it, remember?!

Parachutes are so not extreme, by the way.

I thank Nuke, and will walk to Piet then, alone.

Siquo walks to the western exit with Nuke following him babbling something about dwarven necromancers when a loud bell starts ringing, and the various soldiers starting amassing at various spots.

Siquo is stopped at the exit by a guard, wearing +15 armor.



"Sorry, Feindian forces have been seen approaching, the entire Fort is going into lockdown until the attack is repelled. No one comes in, no one goes out. Don't worry, this happens all the time, it's just gonna take awhile."

What do you do?

NO I WANT TO GO INTO THE CHURCH

Go to the exotic store.

You go the the Exotic Store.



The store keeper greets you joyously,

"Hello! I'm always happy to see some young gentlemen in my store, the only customers I get nowadays are rich old ladies from the Vick Barony, let me help you."

He points to the bottom shelf,

"These are our various goods, to the left we have some boxes of matches, each containing 12 matches for easy fire starting! How dandy! They are 1 silver a box. Then we have a series of masterfully made coloring sticks, wrapped in a BEAUTIFUL blue silk satchel. These will allow you to color and draw like a professional with the greatest of ease. They can be all yours for just 3 silver. Then we have an ancient wooden mask that we just imported! Doesn't it just look ferocious? Rawr! It can be all yours for just 7 silver. Then we have an imported wooden horn made by the mountain climbers of Steve County, it's professionally made to produce the loudest sound possible when blown into! It is but a mere 5 silver."

Then he points to the top shelf,

"Now here are my babies! These are the most exceptional outfits in the entirety of the Dukedom! They are made with the finest Giant Spider Silk, imported from the dangerous, chasm filled Kingdom of Ben. The Spider silk is woven into thread by the finest weavers this side of the world, and I PERSONALLY overlooked as the thread was made into the outfits you see before you! Even the ugliest person alive would look absolutely dapper in one of these! Of course, the production cost for these outfits is quite large, so I'm forced to sell them for 10 gold each. So how about it, do one of you handsome young men want anything?"

What do you do?

Status

Nuke:
3hp
wearing: Dirty, old, muddy, burnt clothes. Safety Pin. Paladin of Extremus Button.
Inventory:
-Note from Duke Cody
-Paper Extremus Brochure
-Arson and Manslaughter (baby fairies)
-
-

Jon:
9hp
wearing: +4 Metal Shirt. Leather shoes.
inventory:
-pouch (VB coin, maps)
-wad of hay
-Fairy Whistle
-Love potion
- +2 sword
-Old, dirty clothes
- +2 Halberd (Spear and axe, equipped)
-

Siquo:
15hp
wearing: Dirty, old sheet. Artifact GCS silk thong
inventory:
-
-
-
-
-


Derrick: NPC
29hp
Wearing: Siquo's stolen rags. +4 metal shirt.
-11 silver, 2 copper
- +4 axe (equipped, natural strength bonus)
-
-
-

[Emperor_Jonathan]

"This stuff is shit. Give us some stuff for free."

[JoshuaFH]

"This stuff is shit. Give us some stuff for free."

"I don't catch your drift sir, I don't have anything for free."

[Cheeetar]

"This stuff is shit. Give us some stuff for free."

Buy the crayons and draw all over yourself and the demon.

[Emperor_Jonathan]

"Hey Derrick, can I borrow, like 3 Silver? Maybe you'd like a Fairy Whistle, or Love Potion in return?"

[JoshuaFH]

"Fairy Whistle? Fairies are dirty, horrible creatures, and should never be talked to or interacted with ever. I'd ask where you got it, but talking about them makes my skin crawl. Here's 3 silver, now let's never talk of this again."

Derrick gives you 3 of his 11 silver.

Derrick now has 8 silver.

[Emperor_Jonathan]

"Thanks. Just for the record, you could blow the whistle then kill the fairies when they arrive. >_>"

I buy the drawing material (3 silver).

[JoshuaFH]

"Thanks. Just for the record, you could blow the whistle then kill the fairies when they arrive. >_>"

I buy the drawing material (3 silver).

"Call them... to you?! That would be a foolish thing indeed sir, for that would only call a swarm of a hundred or so, and they would viciously attack, and once they've pummeled you to death with their little bodies, they would then pick every shred of meat off your bones. My uncle was killed in a vicious Fairy attack, when they found him, even his bones were cracked open and the marrow was sucked out. I'm glad the other gods got mad at Merida for letting those little bastards run wild, and forced her to banish all those murderers to the human world."

You buy the Drawing sticks.



The shopkeeper meekly interjects,

"Well, eh, I don't know what's going on between you two, but leave me out of it."

What do you do?

Status

Nuke:
3hp
wearing: Dirty, old, muddy, burnt clothes. Safety Pin. Paladin of Extremus Button.
Inventory:
-Note from Duke Cody
-Paper Extremus Brochure
-Arson and Manslaughter (baby fairies)
-
-

Jon:
9hp
wearing: +4 Metal Shirt. Leather shoes.
inventory:
-pouch (VB coin, maps)
-wad of hay
-Fairy Whistle
-Love potion
- +2 sword
-Old, dirty clothes
- +2 Halberd (Spear and axe, equipped)
-Blue Silk satchel (assortment of colored drawing sticks)

Siquo:
15hp
wearing: Dirty, old sheet. Artifact GCS silk thong
inventory:
-
-
-
-
-


Derrick: NPC
29hp
Wearing: Siquo's stolen rags. +4 metal shirt.
-8 silver, 2 copper
- +4 axe (equipped, natural strength bonus)
-
-
-