"It was an accident. I tripped!"
"Well, I don't think Tony thought you tripped. I'd stay out of the motel if I were you."
What do you do?
Pull fairies out of mouth. Speak dying words:
"Dammit, I never got to launch myself with the catapult. Oh, right, could someone give these fairies to the next random peasant adventurer you- cough- see?"
Replace fairies.
Die.
((Victory is mine! Well, not really... kind of. Actually, not at all... meh))
Arson and Manslaughter jump back into your mouth, and down your throat.
They feast on your insides, as it is only natural for baby fairies to feed on the dead bodies of their parents.
((Instant-Backstab-Karma, you had that coming, Nuke 
))
"Hey guys, I'm on your side! See? I killed all these guys for you!"
If that doesn't work, defend myself. Look for a fire exit behind me.
You try to talk the guys out of attacking you, but these guys are soldiers, not diplomats, so they don't listen.
You look for a back exit, you find a window, you go through the window.
Only to find yourself surrounded by three more Faundian Soldiers, OUCH!
They are all wearing +10 armor, one is carrying a +5 mace, the others a +2 axe and +4 spear.
They all attack!
The macer:
Roll: 4 (4 + 5 - 10 = -1)
Deals no damage!
The axer:
Roller: 6! (attack modifier quadrupled! 6 + 8 - 10 = 6)
And deals 6 damage to you! you have 9 hp left!
The spearman:
Roll: 4 (4 + 4 - 10 = -2)
and deals no damage!
What do you do?
Squeegy Path Start!Squeegy is in his house, resting for the day after he picked a fight with a retarded farm hand, and got his hand crushed as a result. If only you weren't so short and if only your wife wasn't always cheating on you, you might not be so angry all the time.
All of a sudden though, you hear someone yell,
"OH YEAH!"
Duke Cody busts through your wall. It's not an amazing feat of strength, the walls are just really flimsy.
His bodyguard (wearing +10 armor, with a weapon holstered on his belt behind him, but you can't see what it is) walks through the door like a sane person.
Duke Cody speaks,
"Those lousy bastard peasants I sent to kill those imps STILL aren't back, so I'm commissioning you to go to Piet, and kill some Imps that are bothering the locals. Here's 10 silver, a bag, and some maps."
You take a look at a map of Baurville.
Everything appears to be in the correct place.
You scratch where you live on it.
What do you do?
StatusJon:
4hp
wearing: +4 Metal Shirt. Leather shoes.
inventory:
-pouch (VB coin, maps)
-wad of hay
-Fairy Whistle
-Love potion
- +2 sword
-Old, dirty clothes
- +2 Halberd (Spear and axe, equipped)
-Blue Silk satchel (assortment of colored drawing sticks)
Siquo:
15hp
wearing:Artifact GCS silk thong, +10 armor
inventory:
- +4 spear
- crossbow
- 20 bolts
- glass vial (Complete Healing Salve)
- bomb
Squeegy:
19hp
Wearing: dirty, old clothes
-bag (10 silver, maps)
-
-
-
-
Big-eyed Bob:
20hp
Snappy green shirt, blue pants, and tall hat.
-3 copper
-apple
-football
-inappropriate picture
-length of string
Author
Topic: Peasant Adventure! The World of Suffering! (Read 83397 times)