Ah, I knew it. Well, from the sounds of fighting it sounds like now would be an excellent time to SET THE FORT THE WALL A RANDOM STRANGER ON FIRE.
However, on the basis of my amazing ability to sense loot, I shall go to the barracks first.
Wear the +10 armor. Wield the +4 spear.
Pocket the crossbow, bolts, vial and bomb.
As armor doesn't count to inventory, that should work.
Now, my extraordinary pre-sense for evil tells me to wait, and kill any looters trying to desecrate the corpses of these valiant warriors.
Nuke goes to the Barracks, to loot some dead bodies,
But is intercepted by Siquo!
Nuke is all like "LOOT!"
but Siquo is all like "NO WAY!"
but then...
You hear a loud crash! The southwest gates have come down! The evil Faundian Forces are rushing in!
A Faundian soldier barges into the barracks, wearing +10 armor that is painted light blue, the most evil shade of blue, and wielding a +4 sword!
He already expended his turn coming into the barracks.
What do you do?
Push the man off his stool, cover his mouth and loot his body.
You try to push the man down,
Coin Flip: Tails!
Your limp wristed push does nothing to this hardened quadriplegic!
"Try and attack me will ya! I didn't fight 8 wars to get pushed around by low-life punks!"
He pulls a +5 knife hidden in his shirt and wields it in his teeth, then shifts his buttock and a spring in his stool sends him flying at you!
The flying cripple stabs you!
Roll: 4 (4 + 5 - 4 = 5)
And deals 5 damage! You now have 4 hp!
Bob is confused, and doesn't know what to do!
What do you do?
StatusNuke:
3hp
wearing: Dirty, old, muddy, burnt clothes. Safety Pin. Paladin of Extremus Button.
Inventory:
-Note from Duke Cody
-Paper Extremus Brochure
-Arson and Manslaughter (baby fairies)
-
-
Jon:
4hp
wearing: +4 Metal Shirt. Leather shoes.
inventory:
-pouch (VB coin, maps)
-wad of hay
-Fairy Whistle
-Love potion
- +2 sword
-Old, dirty clothes
- +2 Halberd (Spear and axe, equipped)
-Blue Silk satchel (assortment of colored drawing sticks)
Siquo:
15hp
wearing:Artifact GCS silk thong, +10 armor
inventory:
- +4 spear
- crossbow
- 20 bolts
- glass vial (Complete Healing Salve)
- bomb
Big-eyed Bob:
20hp
Snappy green shirt, blue pants, and tall hat.
-3 copper
-apple
-football
-inappropriate picture
-length of string