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Author Topic: "Eat The Rich, I Have Their Mailing Addresses"  (Read 13549 times)

Aqizzar

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"Eat The Rich, I Have Their Mailing Addresses"
« on: February 22, 2009, 03:00:55 am »

This came up in Strife's thread, but I wound up typing a big provocative reply that would probably make it's own discussion.  This being the new Life section of the forum, I'll just break it off into it's own thread.  These are some violent communist observations, born out of thinking too much while at work.

Aqizzar, you should write a book about your life working for UPS. You can get some awesome title like "Riding the Clock: The Story of My Life Carrying Other People's Crap," but better and more relevant.

I am a devout marketeer and always will be, but working for UPS, I can figure out where early communists got their ideas, and I sometimes wonder why violent populist revolutions aren't springing up every day.  When you all day toting crates of plasma TVs, hundred dollar shoes, and inflatable barbecues, busting ass for 9 dollars an hour, it's hard for me not to fantasize about leading my fellow Epsilons into a violent seizure and toppling of the wealthy ruling class.  That's jest really, but I do sometimes write broken dissertations in my head on the societal danger of excessive wealth.

I get by fine, because I normally only work part-time hours, the pay's not bad for what it is, and I've got plans about where to go once I get my degree.  But I can't help but feel some bizarre, likely misplace pity for many of my coworkers.  My main man is this guy Nusret.  He left Bosnia for America in 1996, when everything went to shit for him.  He wound up in Dallas of all places, got some nightschool English, and has been working for UPS basically since he got his greencard.  And for a dozen years, he's been working full time hours at the exact same job I got hired to nine months ago.  My other go to guy is a little Mexican dude a year younger than me.  He's already a divorced father, and works a full time job in addition to the part-time night shift with me, and involuntarily hides any time the on-station police officer walks by because he's got active warrants.

They're two stories among many.  There's hundreds of people I work with who I have to wonder if they even think about their future, let alone have any particular hopes for it.  I've always insisted that we are not defined by what you do for a living.  A chosen profession or career sure, but not a job to pay the bills.  But a lot of these guys, especially in light of the long depression we're entering, are completely fucked in terms of long-term financial security.  And working as small lot shipping handlers, you get other people's compulsive consumerism and tenuous grasp of reality rubbed in your face every night.  These aren't coherent, rational criticisms of market capitalism or anything like that, just ticked-off inspirations to do some raw plundering on the people who can obviously afford it, by the people who exhaust their lives making modern luxury possible in the first place.

It's more a reflection on me getting wrapped up in my thoughts to not think about work, but I've got to be on to something.  Surely there's something beyond self-preservation that keeps 40% of the population from turning all Liberal Crime Squad on greater society at any given time.
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Kagus

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Re: "Eat The Rich, I Have Their Mailing Addresses"
« Reply #1 on: February 22, 2009, 08:11:18 am »

Join FedEx, I hear they have a maximum tolerable package integrity of 80%.  If it's over that, then it's time to bring out the big boots.

JoshuaFH

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Re: "Eat The Rich, I Have Their Mailing Addresses"
« Reply #2 on: February 22, 2009, 04:18:13 pm »

I had a good friend that was indeed a communist. He believed in the communist ideals and studied the manifesto. Great guy, but no one would ever take him seriously because he was such a bad speaker and debater.

I have no idea why I wrote that, but I felt it was relevant.

You talk about how bad your job is Aqizzar, but surely it must have it's good points?
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Ignoro

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Re: "Eat The Rich, I Have Their Mailing Addresses"
« Reply #3 on: February 22, 2009, 06:40:59 pm »

Sounds like a Steven King book.

A delivery boy for a package delivery company keeps the addresses of the houses of families that come off as too rich, and he comes back later in the night to kidnap with his van and eat them. Police reports describe a man of sturdy build and heavy jaw with squinty eyes.

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Surely there's something beyond self-preservation that keeps 40% of the population from turning all Liberal Crime Squad on greater society at any given time.
Find out why people go "postal" and compare it to anyone else who's simply disgruntled. They're missing something.

Have you ever actually seen someone "postal"?
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Aqizzar

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Re: "Eat The Rich, I Have Their Mailing Addresses"
« Reply #4 on: February 22, 2009, 07:26:11 pm »

Sounds like a Steven King book.

A delivery boy for a package delivery company keeps the addresses of the houses of families that come off as too rich, and he comes back later in the night to kidnap with his van and eat them. Police reports describe a man of sturdy build and heavy jaw with squinty eyes.

The more I think about it, the more frighteningly plausible the whole scenario becomes.  A pissed off package handling savant with a photographic memory and grudge against the world inspires his coworkers and blue-collar brethren to violent uprising with promises of plunder and social justice.

And then I realize that I basically rewrote the thesis to Fight Club.  I wonder how long it'll be before I start giving myself chemical burns at night.


Find out why people go "postal" and compare it to anyone else who's simply disgruntled. They're missing something.

Have you ever actually seen someone "postal"?

Not personally, but it has happened.  I think the last time was a couple years ago when a guy went apeshit on the floor manager.  Also, being UPS we call it 'going parcel', yuk yuk yuk.


You talk about how bad your job is Aqizzar, but surely it must have it's good points?

Relatively good salary for a part-time job that requires essentially nothing besides being awake.  Plus, full health and dental insurance and a tuition reimbursement program.  Apparently some people really hate this job, because they absolutely throw benefits at new hires, and we still have a nearly 60% first-year turnover rate.
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And here is where my beef pops up like a looming awkward boner.
Please amplify your relaxed states.
Quote from: PTTG??
The ancients built these quote pyramids to forever store vast quantities of rage.

Willfor

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Re: "Eat The Rich, I Have Their Mailing Addresses"
« Reply #5 on: February 22, 2009, 07:44:30 pm »

Luckily I don't have to worry, because (while you're not delivering to me personally) while I accept things from deliverymen that could be worth hundreds of dollars, it's because I have to turn around and put it into inventory and sell it to customers.

... for less money than you make.

And the job requires much more than simply being awake. :(

The one thing I have learned (among many) is that some people honestly have no idea how to pack a box. Ideally, you pack it so that NOTHING moves around inside, and you make sure that it will survive the shipping process. Accidents do happen in shipping, but 7 times out of 10, damaged product is the fault of the person who packed it. >:(
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JoshuaFH

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Re: "Eat The Rich, I Have Their Mailing Addresses"
« Reply #6 on: February 22, 2009, 07:46:10 pm »

So you own a business Willfor?
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Willfor

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Re: "Eat The Rich, I Have Their Mailing Addresses"
« Reply #7 on: February 22, 2009, 07:51:12 pm »

Nope! I am the shipping/receiving person for a small christian bookstore. And double as a cashier. ... and a janitor. There aren't really jobs that you don't do when you work at a small store.
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In the wells of livestock vans with shells and garden sands /
Iron mixed with oxygen as per the laws of chemistry and chance /
A shape was roughly human, it was only roughly human /
Apparition eyes / Apparition eyes / Knock, apparition, knock / Eyes, apparition eyes /

Aqizzar

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Re: "Eat The Rich, I Have Their Mailing Addresses"
« Reply #8 on: February 22, 2009, 07:51:52 pm »

The one thing I have learned (among many) is that some people honestly have no idea how to pack a box. Ideally, you pack it so that NOTHING moves around inside, and you make sure that it will survive the shipping process. Accidents do happen in shipping, but 7 times out of 10, damaged product is the fault of the person who packed it. >:(

OH. MY. GOD.

The only thing that makes my job problematic is the end result of exactly that kind of idiocy.  It's not fucking hard - don't ship loose bolts and electric motors in banker's boxes, put some damn newspapers in there, and quit being a cheap bastard and get some proper containers.

I've consider proposing a new program to my manager.  When we have to round up material and tape a box back together, we could slap a sticker on it saying "alert your purchasee to their inadequate packing".  At the very least, we should send notices to shippers whose packages get so obliterated that we can't even deliver them.
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And here is where my beef pops up like a looming awkward boner.
Please amplify your relaxed states.
Quote from: PTTG??
The ancients built these quote pyramids to forever store vast quantities of rage.

Torak

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Re: "Eat The Rich, I Have Their Mailing Addresses"
« Reply #9 on: February 23, 2009, 12:23:05 am »

To cut down on any essay writing I may have wanted to do tonight, I'll keep it short: What you describe (the "Little Man" rebellion) will happen, eventually, and it'll more than likely spark other, much worse crises across the world. Sure hope I'm not alive when it happens or if not that I'm the leader, because I don't want to see what happens to the obscenely rich. I'm talking crucifications en masse.
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JoshuaFH

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Re: "Eat The Rich, I Have Their Mailing Addresses"
« Reply #10 on: February 23, 2009, 12:25:56 am »

That sounds ridiculous Torak.
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inaluct

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Re: "Eat The Rich, I Have Their Mailing Addresses"
« Reply #11 on: February 23, 2009, 12:28:02 am »

I don't want to see what happens to the obscenely rich. I'm talking crucifications en masse.

There aren't enough of them for it to be en masse.
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Torak

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Re: "Eat The Rich, I Have Their Mailing Addresses"
« Reply #12 on: February 23, 2009, 12:58:36 am »

That sounds ridiculous Torak.

You obviously don't do work that involves making/transporting/maintaining expensive crap for rich people.
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As you journey to the center of the world, feel free to read the death announcements of those dwarves that suffer your neglect.

One billion b-balls dribbling simultaneously throughout the galaxy. One trillion b-balls being slam dunked through a hoop throughout the cosmos. I can feel every single b-ball that has ever existed at my fingertips, I can feel their collective knowledge channeling through my veins. Every jumpshot, every rebound and three-pointer, every layup, dunk and free throw.

mainiac

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Re: "Eat The Rich, I Have Their Mailing Addresses"
« Reply #13 on: February 23, 2009, 01:39:02 am »

I'm too much of a pansy to be a revolutionary.  So my plan is to become rich but not be an asshole.  If I leave a money behind when I die, and enough people do the same, we can save up and buy a revolution without all the nasty burning and pillaging and whatnot.

But if you ever do get the LCS up and running, make sure to let me know so I can come casually chat with you at a homeless shelter, after which I'll give you 948 dollars or become a secret advocate for your cause.
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JoshuaFH

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Re: "Eat The Rich, I Have Their Mailing Addresses"
« Reply #14 on: February 23, 2009, 01:59:55 am »

Don't you think your animosity towards the wealthy is misplaced? The wealthy aren't inherently bad, and it is the wealthy people that pay your salary.
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