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[Caretaker Eric]

Ladies and gentledwarves! I have fantastic news! Google Calculator now officially supports beard-second conversions!

-----------------------------------


The beard-second.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beard-second

This won my morning, and consumed the rest of my day converting EVERYTHING into beard-seconds, beard-years, and beard-days.

The dwarven-kind in you will be pleased.

 

[penguinofhonor]

This is officially how dwarves measure every distance.

[Warlord255]

Why not beard-years?

[penguinofhonor]

Beard-months would probably be the most useful measurement.

[Skorpion]

But how would they verify this? They'd have to use a veritable horde of cheesemakers for years to gain a good average for beard growth.

[penguinofhonor]

Step 1. Shave a cheese maker.
Step 2. Cut said cheese maker's head off a day before a month has passed, in order to account for the extra beard length due to the skin constricting in death.
Step 3. Repeat a few dozen times.
Step 4. Get a gnome to do the math for you and average the beard lengths.

[StealthArcher]

6.  Kill the gnome and some elves for the hell of it.
7. ??
8. Beard-Profit!

[Taal]

Judging off those numbers in the wiki a Beard year would be 15.552cm. Which would mean 2 beard years would approximately equal a foot.

Mining,
Tantrums,
Goblin sieges,
Lifes hard when your only a decade tall.

[Tormy]

The beard-second.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beard-second

This won my morning, and consumed the rest of my day converting EVERYTHING into beard-seconds, beard-years, and beard-days.

The dwarven-kind in you will be pleased.

 

Oh please...beard seconds. Why the hell on earth do we need measurements like this...funny nevertheless..

[Caretaker Eric]

Mining,
Tantrums,
Goblin sieges,
Lifes hard when your only a decade tall.

That was fantastic.

[mainiac]

Shouldn't a dwarven beard second be much larger then a human beard second?

[puke]

Judging off those numbers in the wiki a Beard year would be 15.552cm. Which would mean 2 beard years would approximately equal a foot.

...

Lifes hard when your only a decade tall.

really?  because i come up with a meter being 316.8876 beard-years.  now, this dosent seem right to me, so im inclined to think that you are right and im not.  basic arithmatic does not seem to be my strong suit, but:

1 Beard Second = 10^-10 meters, or 0.0000000001 meters.
1 Beard Minute = 0.0000000001 * 60 = 0.000000006
1 Beard Hour = 0.000000006 * 60 = 0.00000036
1 Beard Day = 0.00000036 * 24 = 0.00000864
1 Beard Year = 0.00000864 * 365.242199 = 0.00315569259936

1 meter / 0.00315569259936 = 316.8876462183953194870035834516 Beard Years.

This just does not seem right.  My beard grows faster than that.  What am i doing wrong?

[Aqizzar]

Note that it's an average.  Some people have seriously fast growing beards.  If I so much as trim mine, it'll be a solid carpet from my trachea to my eye orbits inside of two weeks, long enough to catch in a jacket.

[PMantix]

Judging off those numbers in the wiki a Beard year would be 15.552cm. Which would mean 2 beard years would approximately equal a foot.

...

Lifes hard when your only a decade tall.

really?  because i come up with a meter being 316.8876 beard-years.  now, this dosent seem right to me, so im inclined to think that you are right and im not.  basic arithmatic does not seem to be my strong suit, but:

1 Beard Second = 10^-10 meters, or 0.0000000001 meters.
1 Beard Minute = 0.0000000001 * 60 = 0.000000006
1 Beard Hour = 0.000000006 * 60 = 0.00000036
1 Beard Day = 0.00000036 * 24 = 0.00000864
1 Beard Year = 0.00000864 * 365.242199 = 0.00315569259936

1 meter / 0.00315569259936 = 316.8876462183953194870035834516 Beard Years.

This just does not seem right.  My beard grows faster than that.  What am i doing wrong?

You're off by a factor of 50.

A beard-second is defined as 5 nanometers = 5 *10^-9

what you have written is that a beard second is 10^-10, which is 0.1 nanometers.



Recalculating using your equations as a template:

1 Beard Second = 5*10^-9, or 0.000000005 meters.
1 Beard Minute = 0.000000005 * 60 = 0.0000003
1 Beard Hour = 0.0000003 * 60 = 0.000018
1 Beard Day = 0.000018 * 24 = 0.000432
1 Beard Year = 0.000432 * 365.242199 = 0.157784629968

1 meter / 0.157784629968 = 6.3377529243679063897400716690319 Beard Years.


Which seems about right to me..

[monolar]

this is the first time i'm disappointed by the google calculator.

edit:

I just filled out a google feedback form to let them know about beard seconds.