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[Zero]

Sometimes, when i play DF, i want to pick um my Monitor and bash it against the wall, yelling: "NOOOOOOOO! YOU F*ING MORONS! *bash* DONT! *Bash* DO! *bash* THAT! *BASH*"
this is one of these times.

i tried something new involving water from a river and lava from a nearby volcano. i had dug out a little room in the earth for beds and farming, the pumps were running and everything was fine, when i got this message:

Mesthos McDwarf cancels store... ... interrupted by Fire Man.

2 minutes later:
the forest is on fire, and a giant blazing wall of smoke is moving towards my food (and, thereby flammable booze) stockpile. i draft my dwarves and order them inside the small room. and suddenly, the all go: STOP! time for my daily nap! ANF FALL ASLEEP RIGHT NEXT TO THE STOCKPILE WHEN THE GODDAMN FIRE IS ONLY HALF A SCREEN AWAY.

1 minute later:
i´m at the edge of a nervous breakdown, 4 dwarves are crispy, one has, for whatever reason, managed to loose his left eye, the other two are depressed. all food is burned. the pumps are gone, too. at least it cant get any worse.

Melbil McDwarf is throwing a tantrum!

then this dwarf broke the other guys arms and legs.

*facepalm*

[Phazer]

The worst moments of Dwarf fortress is truly these. because my food stockpile was full i canceled the farming so that i wouldnt waste the seeds and then they got hungry after a while and i ordered them to begin farming, then this happened.

They began whining and looking for vermin for food and when i got my plants those who were looking for vermin didnt stop, there was food in the stockpile but they wanted to go eat vermins. then they starved and my whole fortress tantrumed and killed each other and worst of all, my farm was full of seed waiting to grow to plump helmets when i see ''Farmer cancels plant seeds: tantruming. and then he destroyed the farm and killed a kid which the farmer tantrumed and kill yet another dwarf. i built the farm again when a craftdwarf comes and destroys it, this is when i abandoned and reclaimed the fortress. i so damn hate dwarfs sometimes, if you lost a friend would you go kill any other friend you got??

[Kel the Oblivious]

Ok, picture this... Magma pool, just below ground. I am clearing it out, using the ol' sit and wait method with crossbow dorfs. One of them, for some god retarded reason, didn't pick up any bolts before going on duty. I know I had plenty, cause the off duty CbDs were firing away happily.

Out pops a fire imp. Mister "Hammer bow" Runs forward, bashes the imp into the lava. I figure, ok, now we wait.

No, the retard leaps into the lava, as if he expects to kill the imp in it's native setting. Face palms all around.

[Cheshire Cat]

my worst moments involve dwarves being dumb during sieges.

like, "oh, three bunches of goblin bowmen, inside men and hide around the corner to mash them" and my champions just wander around outside unable to get to their squad leader, who has interpreted my order for "stand inside near entrance" to mean "stand on the hard to reach top of the mountain 12 z levels above but directly over the place he should be"

the other thing that gets me is the dance dwarves do in front of the doorway when you have forbidden the outdoors to them. and when something nasty approaches, how they allways choose to flee outwards into the wide dangerous world rather then back into the huge safe fortress doorway behind them. seriously, it cant be that hard to make it so that the pathfinding AI checks whether the job requires going outside before trying to path there.

choosing really innapropriate moments to sleep or eat or drink are very annoying, but my above examples are the only features of DF that really make my blood boil. i hope with the military improvements in the next update fix some of these things, particularly squad control.

[Porpoisepower]

The worst moments of Dwarf fortress is truly these. because my food stockpile was full i canceled the farming so that i wouldnt waste the seeds and then they got hungry after a while and i ordered them to begin farming, then this happened.

Waste seeds?

[Phazer]

Rotten plump helmets = bad.

my food storage was full

[Captain Xenon]

you run out of barrels, and so they stop brewing. hope you were paying attention.

the first clue you have a big fortress? you consume more ale than one still can produce. better have a second still ready or else it will be nasty carp-infested water for everyone.

too much food can be a good thing, just be sure to make more kitchens to keep cooking it. its a good idea to put a drinks/prepared meals stockpile near your legendary dining room. but never shut down all the farms... always leave one running. i know the 6 or 8 farms i usualy have is too many, but hey it works.

true rage? true rage is when the megaproject is almost done... and you discover the map has NO WIND!

[Pilsu]

For future reference, either make them beds or designate a barracks. I think they prefer to nap on the floor there if one exists

[Hyndis]

Rotten plump helmets = bad.

my food storage was full

I leave hundreds of plump helmets to rot every season.

I have a food stockpile set to accept plump helmets only, and all other food stockpiles have plump helmets forbidden. Thus, when this single 10x5 stockpile is full, no more plump helmets will be accepted. The rest will simply rot in the fields, because the refuse pile won't accept plants either.

When dwarves eat a plump helmet, a spot in the stockpile opens up, so one will be harvested and stored. Its a handy way to keep the plump helmet population under control. Sort of an auto-grow to 500ish plump helmets, with no micromanagment at all.

[Shurikane]

Fun!

[Zero]

Actually, the game eas really fun afterwards ^^
i managed to have "Rib" (had 3 broken bp´s), "Blaze" (survived the boozepile explosion AND didnt wake up) and "One Eye" (self explanatory) survive and countiniue the construction. i think i will use "setting the forest on fire with magma" as a defence tecnique in the near future. booze bombs, maybe?

[Shurikane]

The key is not to develop an attachment to your fort - because WHEN you do lose it, you'll rage. 

Hell, I'm on a succession fort at the party van right now, and I screwed up my channel at some point only to flood half of my ground floor.  Lulz ensued.

Then later on I mistakenly lock my champion outside, with him surrounded by six fully armed gobbos.  He beat them all to a pulp despite being surrounded and then flung the last one over my farm with a hammer uppercut.

And then there was a battle against a Titan while I raced to undo the drawbridge retraction before the Titan got killed by my five or six dudes.

And then there's the time I somehow drove off a 50-strong goblin siege with one sniper who got a grand total of four kills and spent something like 100 steel bolts doing it.

[MuonDecay]

My most annoyed moments are usually the idiots who can't be arsed to eat -before- taking on a task.

They grab the materials, drag them to the workshop, then throw them on the floor to go eat a mushroom. Seriously, get a snack first, Urist. I'd rather wait than have you fake me out like that.

I have this hilarious image in my mind of a legendary weaponsmith heating up the forge, dragging a slab of steel to the forge, heating it, and then just yelling "HUNGRY!" and throwing a glowing hot slab of steel aside onto the foot of some nearby hauler as they sprint off to grab a snack.

Dwarves are even more adamant about mealtimes than hobbits.

[Mulch Diggums]

After I read the first post I went:


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Any ways, this is called fun Zero, its what you get when you sign up for Dwarf Fortress