Dinosaurs? I'd better be sure they don't go extinct. We shall build a massive orbital defense system of weaponized satellites, weaponized space stations, and magnetic mine fields throughout the star system. With some giant weapons on the planet itself, able to shoot anything in the star system.
In that case, we shall conquer a nearby star system.
3: You conquer a small moon.
I build a HUGE tesla coil out of all the stuff stored in my comet/ship. Also, I show around Flintus the various parts of the ship, like the crew deck, the mining sector, the R&D department, the 0-G entertainment field, the ultra-secret weapon capable of destroying the universe, and all that crap ship captains do when they get a guest.
Oh and Flintus, be careful with that ferret-destroyer-of-worlds or I shall kick you out of my ship. WITHOUT a space suit =P
2: You attempt to build a HUGE Tesla coil but you fail when your Tesla coil decides to self destruct for no reason.
I activate the Super Tractor Beam!
4: You activate the super tractor beam! It begins sucking planets! The sun is extremely mighty now! It sucked in Earth with a breeze! Here comes Mars! Woosh! The asteroid belt! Woosh! All the way to not-a-planet-anymore Pluto! Woosh! Now the sun sits alone. Because of this the sun is said. -1 emo penalty for all sun actions.
I fail to git mai mekz to build a 'uge lazur!
2: You attempt to fail to get your mechs to build a huge laser. You fail and thus succeed in making a huge laser. Congratulations.
I sigh and quantumly teleport the miasma-filled, rotting bodies of the dead soldiers to my enemies as a greeting present wrapped in old valentine flowers and chocolate
1: You fart loudly instead. Causing Today One to get a headache.
5: You build a huge space fleet shaped like an ass! This fleet has the power to kill all life on a planet by emitting poisonous gas. This action takes 3 turns.
I shall send the Asinus Maximus to destroy the Earth! (In three turns obviously.)
4: You send your fleet but it discovers the earth has already been sucked in by the sun! Your fleet engages the sun instead. You manage to give the sun a mild cough. Nothing serious has been accomplished.
Finally!
I utilize my legions of slaves to build a giant space fortress that exists everywhere at once. It can destroy anything.
4: You manage to do exactly that but instead of a fortress you get a town.
I use any communication device I can find on the ship to threaten any planet that they will be my ferrets dessert unless they hand their entire civilisation over and serve under me.
5: Whilst expertly misspelling civilization, you threaten everyone. Your threats are laughed at because your ferret is nothing compared to their weapons. Out of anger, you can send the ferret out to destroy any world in 3 turns.
... I (re)convert everyone I have access to.
1: You start talking but your mouth blows up. You sustain mild bleeding.
Inventory:
Flintus10: A HUGE undead ferret capable of breaking any world in 3 turns.
Aqizzar: 500 almost working nukes, huge ass fleet.
Floirt: Nothing.
Pandarsenic: Nothing, some shit, cookie.
Jackrabbit: Gigantic army capable of conquering a planet in 3 turns.
Wimdit: Broken nail, communications terminal slag, a huge town that is everywhere at once and can destroy
anything in 3 turns.
KaelGotDwarves: Nothing.
Nirur Torir: Some body parts.
webadict: Super tractor beam.
Org: Epic fail.
Status:
Procrastination.