Begin Recording - 9th of March, 2040"False alarm," they told us. "The aliens got away," they told us. "But don't worry," they told us, "There's still plenty more."
And there were. No less than an hour after the terror mission, a medium-sized submarine was located. Both barracudas were immediately dispatched, and after chasing it into the Baltic Sea, they shot it down. We were immediately loaded into the submarine, with ammo this time.
"First alien sighted. I repeat, first alien sighted." The tank operator's voice crackled over the radio. "Firing rocket." The torpedo erupted out of the tank's barrel, sailed over to the alien and hit a rocket. The explosion left the rock fairly intact but took out everything nearby, including the alien. "Alien down. Moving out."
Mohammed Qaddifi, the president who had joined the X-Com organization, walked outside with me and said, "A área é clara. Não estrangeiros à vista."
There was some silence, then Eve Miss the First said, "Uhhh. Okay then. I'm heading out."
Tickle Me Elmo walked outside, then looked to the left and shouted, "Alien in sight!"
Commander Cool shouted back, "Stop shouting so fucking loud, it hurts my ears!"
Four soldiers lined up to shoot, four soldiers missed every shot.
"God damn this little bugger is hard to hit," Full|Metal|Wolf said.
"Are you sure it's hard to hit? Or do you just have FUCKING TERRIBLE AIM?!" Cool screamed at them.
"I'd shoot it with a rocket, sir, but these guys are in the way," I said.
"I got it!" WorkerDrone shouted, then hesitated. "But... it's still up."
"O estrangeiro é muito longe, e as nossas armas são muito imprecisas," Mohammed said.
"Everyone get down! It's noticed us, prepare for fire!" Commander Cool yelled.
Everyone ducked, but then the alien turned and walked away.
"Did it just walk away?" WorkerDrone asked.
"Everyone spread out! The bastard's gotta be around here somewhere."
WorkerDrone radioed in, "I see the one that ran, firing now." There were three shots. "Shit, missed it."
"Okay, that's fucking it. You are ALL going in the firing range when we get back."
"I got it!" Wolf radioed. "Aquatoid down. Holy shit, that thing had a grenade. It could have killed us all."
"Yeah yeah. It didn't. It's not like time rewound ten times trying to keep us from getting killed," Cool said.
"Another alien in sight," the tank operator radioed. "Pray this hits."
"I don't believe in God," Cool replied.
"God damn it! I missed!" The tank driver cried.
I could hear a few snickers from the soldiers.
"There we go, got it the second time," he said.
"Você pode não acreditar em Deus, mas Deus acredita em você." Mohammed said.
"Yeah yeah, shut up and check your suits you dumb fuckers." Cool said.
Mohammed cried out suddenly, "Foda-se! Foda-se! Um foguete! Desça!"
A torpedo soared over our heads and past the ship and impacted on the rocks behind it.
"Holy shit, that was close," Sombre said.
"Less talking, more shooting!" Cool screamed, "It came from over there! Fucking shoot it!"
"There it is!" The tank operator said, "I can't get a clear shot."
"Tenho-o!" Mohammed said. He whipped his gun towards the alien and fired a single shot, and I saw, on the horizon, a body collapse. "Um tiro!" He cried.
There was silence for a bit, then Commander Cool said, "Why the fuck can't all of you be a foreign president?" Then he said, "Check y--"Shit! We got another one! Can anyone see him?" The tank operator cut in.
"Huh? Oh yeah! I got him!" Tickle Me Elmo said. He fired three shots, and the alien dropped. "Hell yeah! I got 'im!"
"What happened to the terrible aimers I knew and hated?" Commander Cool asked out loud.
"Merda! Uma expl--" Mohammed shouted, but was cut off. An alien had thrown a grenade, and the blast barely reached Mohammed. He toppled over, severe burns all over his suit.
"Shit! His helmet's damaged, water's leaking in!" I pulled my medkit off my belt and took some first-aid tape, and wrapped it over his helmet. I dragged him behind a rock and shook him awake. "You okay?"
"Deixe-me aqui, vou ficar bem," he replied.
"Uhm, okay." I got up. "He's fine, let's go."
"Hey-o, it's Mister Torpedo!" The tank operator said. "Shit, missed."
I turned, and saw him. I fired, and the torpedo soared over to him. Time seemed to go in slow motion, then I heard an explosion, then two alien screams.
"Well whaddya know, there were TWO aliens at that rock! Good shootin'."
"I see another one!" Wolf shouted. "Shit, I hit, but it's still up."
As Cool screamed in rage, everyone lined up to shoot. Two soldiers missed, and the rest said that they couldn't see it.
The alien threw a grenade at the tank, which missed. Then Wolf shot again, and hit it in the head.
"You stupid fucks are SO. GODDAMN. LUCKY. I NEVER want to see so many misses again, do you hear me?"
"Yes, sir," everyone said.
"I saw another one over there. Everyone spread out, look for it," the tank driver said.
We all spread out, and approached.
"Hey, here's the sub. I almost forgot about that."
"Wow, that's impractical," Tickle Me Elmo said, "It's smaller on the bottom than on the top. Bad design."
"Maybe it's upside-down?" Marko suggested.
Horatio approached the sub, then walked in the door.
"Holy shit!" He called, and fired three times into the alien before it went down.
He walked through the door and climbed up the stairs. "There's a bunch of weapons on the ground."
"Shit! These guys seem to be unarmed. Maybe they've given up?"
"Try not to kill them then."
"Woah! Lots of holes up here, I just fell down a level."
"Careful," Tickle Me Elmo warned.
"Found the last guy!" Horatio called.
"Good job," Command radioed in. "Prepare to leave."
End Recording