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[SirHoneyBadger]

In the category of real people who actually existed, I'd like to nominate Angus Mor MacAskill, the largest "true" giant ever, and probably the strongest human being ever to have lived:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angus_MacAskill

His chest measurements alone (80 inches) were bigger than most people are tall.

[Pandarsenic]

Well if that's how we do things, Duke....

http://www.badassoftheweek.com/hayha.html

You missed Simo's page.

[Aqizzar]

This didn't sit well with Sergeant Murphy.  He flipped out like a goddamn ninja and gunned down the treacherous Nazi bastards.  As soon as they hit the deck, a hidden German machine gun nest opened up on Audie.  This only served to make him more angry.  Murphy charged up the hill towards the gun emplacement and smoked the gun crew.  He then picked up their MG42 machine gun and turned it on another nearby machinegun nest.  Using the captured gun Rambo-style, Sergeant Murphy took out two more gun emplacements as well as a couple of sniper positions.  His actions in beating Kraut asses earned him the US Distinguished Service cross - the second-highest honor given out by the military.

Anybody can pick off unaware targets with a rifle if they try hard enough.  Since snipers aren't supposed to be shot back at anyway, if you're even moderately good you can keep it up forever.  It takes some serious reserves of Awesome to singlehandedly survive multiple ambushes in one minute while taking out a couple machinegun crews with their own weapons.

[Duke 2.0]

 Using outdated equipment on even other snipers out for his blood with over 500 kills on their belts?

[Pandarsenic]

Getting artillery strikes called anywhere they knew he was?

Audie may be awesome, but he's not "FUCKING ARTILLERY IF HE MIGHT BE THERE OK GUYS?" awesome.

[inaluct]

And then they missed with the artillery. They missed every single time.

This man dodged artillery shells.

[Fenrir]

Did he dodge or did they miss? If you know the sniper is in there somewhere, and the artillery is innaccurate in the first place...

[Duke 2.0]

 Indeed, dodging artillery is really not a term I would match to him. As has been stated, it is extremely inaccurate and is better suited for large areas where the enemy could potentially be. Hayha was a lone target and thus was very unlikely to get hit at all. Still, the Russians knew that and wanted to take the chance before their digits froze off.

 Audie dodged automatic fire from close ranges. Damn, now that is some skill.

[SirHoneyBadger]

I'd like to point out that, when they finally did get Simo-with an explosive bullet *TO THE FACE*, that he didn't die, and he was only in a coma for like a week.

He then went on to live to the ripe-ass old age of 97.

I submit that even Death was afraid of this badass.

[inaluct]

I wasn't seriously saying that he was like sitting in some snow bank when he saw an artillery shell whistling at him and jumped to the side or something. I mean, come on.

Anyway, I vote for Simo.

[Aqizzar]

Lots of automatic fire it would seem.  Every story about Audie that he got a medal for, he was caught flatfooted or stayed in the open, facing machinegunners and whole squads of infantry.  He barely got scratched through the whole war.  He's like Forest Gump meets Neo or something.

EDIT: Okay, getting your face blow up and surviving is pretty amazing.  Still voting Audie, but that's some crazy props on Simo.

[Wooty]

Another vote for Simo.

[SirHoneyBadger]

Speaking of war-heroes, someone (from Australia?) maybe ought to bring up the Kokoda Trail defense.

Some major badass Australian heroism there, over some of the worst terrain imaginable.

[Cheeetar]

Simo 6
Audie 2

I'm confused, because some people are talking about how awesome Simo or Audie is in a post but not actually voting. I'll count them as votes for the person.

[Duke 2.0]

 I'm undecided on this one, though.