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[1138]

Ever wonder why dwarven cooks seem to love baking a nice syrup and crocodile roast? Why the thought of a rum and beer biscuit can make any peasant's mouth water? Wonder no more! Now you, too, can make deliciously random concoctions with the help of the Random Recipe Generator! Here's one I found.

Zingy Brandy And Brandy Soup
Serves 3

You will need:
130g soft cheese
80ml lemonade
20ml brandy
30ml tomato ketchup
70ml lemon juice

Instructions:
pre-heat the oven to 200 C
discard the brandy
microwave the tomato ketchup
defrost the soft cheese
barbeque the lemon juice
grill the lemonade
bake for 40 minutes and serve hot

Yum.

It was a bit odd finding this, laughing, coming here to post it and then finding a random demon generator present, though.

[Patarak]

These recipes are fallacious. It does not tell you what to do with the ingredients when you have prepared them.

I got something involving bacon and sifted flour, then baking for 40 minutes. I'll take its word that it's delicious.

[Warlord255]

Often, the last step is "order out".

[MuonDecay]

These recipes are fallacious. It does not tell you what to do with the ingredients when you have prepared them.

I got something involving bacon and sifted flour, then baking for 40 minutes. I'll take it's word that it's delicious.

Actually, that does sound delicious. Maybe broil it instead, baked alternative to chicken-fried bacon.

I'm going to die of a heart attack by age 30

[Neonivek]

Often, the last step is "order out".

Personally my last step is: Serve to family and enjoy never being asked to cook again!

[azrael4h]

My family already knows better than to ask me to cook.

[Haven]

Dangit... I got a decently workable ingrediants list. Then it all went wrong.

Onions Salad
^{Serves 1}
You will need:
40ml water
4 onions
80g rice

Instructions:

• throw the rice away
• discard the onions
• barbeque the water

[CharonX]

Bananas Creme Brulee
Serves 3
You will need:

    * 3 pinches of salt
    * 3 bananas

Slightly Sality Bananas? Well, I haven't tried them and maybe they'll taste good. And, oh look, one Banana per person, Perfect.


Instructions:
   1. stir-fry the bananas
Sound very good so far.

   2. discard the bananas
Er - come again? If you insist....

   3. fry the pinches of salt
In the pan I fried the Bananas in? Ok....

   4. enjoy
Banana flavored fried pinches of Salt? Ewwwww.
So, that's one pinch of salt per person then. Could have been worse I suppose. ^^

[Boksi]

Spicy Packets Of Dry Onion Soup Mix Cakes
Serves 4
You will need:

    * 4 packets of dry onion soup mix
    * 1 sausages
    * 120g cous cous
    * 4 potatoes

Instructions:

   1. pre-heat the oven to 210 C
   2. grill the packets of dry onion soup mix
   3. grill the sausages
   4. slice the cous cous
   5. stir-fry the potatoes
   6. bake for 30 minutes and serve hot

That sounds remotely edible!

[Roundabout Lout]

Spicy Essence Of Vanilla Cakes
Serves 2
You will need:
70g pickle (This is where I start to get worried.)
100g chicken
80ml cream
110ml essence of vanilla

Instructions:
pre-heat the oven to 210 C
grill the chicken
flambe the chicken
simmer the chicken gently for 20 minutes
grill the cream
sauté the pickle
sauté the essence of vanilla
bake for 40 minutes and serve hot

Yum.

I'm off to find a 70g pickle, and figure out how to grill cream.

[PTTG??]

Sweet Water Wedges With Warm Sweetcorn
Serves 5
You will need:

    * 4 sweetcorn
    * 100ml water
    * 130g cornflour

Instructions:

   1. pre-heat the oven to 210 C
   2. sift the water
   3. put the water in the fridge to set (You mean freeze?)
   4. whisk the water (You mean Ice?)
   5. sauté the sweetcorn
   6. microwave the cornflour
   7. bake (everything in one dish?) for 40 minutes and serve hot

Nothing like baked ice and corn!

-------------------------------------------------

Battered Toffee
Serves 5
You will need:

    * 10g beef
    * 110g toffee
    * 2 cloves of garlic
    * 120g iceberg lettuce

Instructions:

   1. pre-heat the oven to 200 C
   2. stir-fry the iceberg lettuce
   3. eat the iceberg lettuce
   4. rinse the toffee
   5. defrost the cloves of garlic - - - - - - - - - (In case you accidentally froze them)
   6. sauté the toffee
   7. sauté the toffee - - - - - - - - - (twice as long as you otherwise would)
   8. sift the beef - - - - - - - - (I'm guessing, but I presume this means '...as a fine powder over the entire dish' making this the only dessert with beef in it.)
   9. bake for 30 minutes and serve hot

[Aqizzar]

Awright, moar random thing generators!

Orange Juice Bake
Serves 1
You will need:

    * 140ml orange juice
    * 110ml tomato ketchup
    * 70ml white wine vinegar
    * 10g iceberg lettuce
    (Sounds sane enough so far.)

Instructions:

   1. pre-heat the oven to 200 C
   2. toast the white wine vinegar----(I suppose I'd need a toaster oven, and not just pour it in the toaster)
   3. defrost the tomato ketchup----(Because it's not gooey enough at room temperature.)
   4. whisk the tomato ketchup
   5. heat the tomato ketchup
   6. fry the iceberg lettuce----(Seen it done before.)
   7. whisk the orange juice----(I assume the high pulp kind.)
   8. bake for 20 minutes and serve hot

That wasn't crazy enough.
-------------------

Spiced Poached Slices Of Bread
Serves 2
You will need:

    * 1 slices of bread
    * 40g muslei
    (A slice of bread and a pinch of... whatever muslei is.)

Instructions:

   1. pre-heat the oven to 200 C
   2. throw the muslei away----(Can do, for I fear the unknown.)
   3. whisk the slices of bread----(So, beat it with a whisk then.)
   4. bake for 80 minutes and serve hot

Mmmm Mm... A roasted handful of bread bits.

[Neoskel]

Hey i think it's broken, i got something that sounds edible.

Porridge Oats With Leeks Mash
Serves 3
You will need:

    * 4 leeks
    * 70g porridge oats

Instructions:

   1. fry the leeks until browned
   2. saute the leeks
   3. sprinkle the leeks over the top (all 4 of them, i assume over the oats)
   4. fry the porridge oats until browned
   5. enjoy

That actually sounds kinda good.

I'll try again.
-----------

Soy Sauce Sandwich (Wait, what?)
Serves 4
You will need:

    * 130ml soy sauce
    * 5 pork chops
    * 140g rice (Oh, rice buns. That sounds good)

Instructions:

   1. pre-heat the oven to 180 C
   2. grill the rice (Good so far.)
   3. sauté the rice
   4. microwave the rice (Guess we need the rice nice and cooked to stay together.)
   5. throw the rice away (Wait, what?)
   6. sift the pork chops (Um...)
   7. fry the pork chops
   8. toast the soy sauce (I'll need to borrow Aqizzar's toaster oven)
   9. bake for 40 minutes and serve hot (I guess the pork chops are the buns)

Yum. Toasted soy sauce between slices of pork. Wait, how am i supposed to divide 5 pork chops between 4 people? And it's still kinda edible...

[Tormy]

Rice Crumble
Serves 2
You will need:
100ml white wine vinegar
120g butter
110ml hot pepper sauce
130g rice

Instructions:
1. pre-heat the oven to 210 C
2. sauté the hot pepper sauce
3. melt the hot pepper sauce
4. simmer the hot pepper sauce gently for 20 minutes
5. slice the rice
6. discard the white wine vinegar
7. defrost the butter
8. bake for 20 minutes and serve hot

Hm I don't think that I would eat this.... 

[Aqizzar]

Awesomesauce Crumble

Totally eating this.

And now, the longest one ever!

Pizza Style Red Onions
Serves 1
You will need:

    * 3 sprigs of asparagus
    * 5 red onions
    * 20g chocolate
    * 150g anchovies
    * 3 spoons of mayonnaise

Instructions:

   1. pre-heat the oven to 220 C
   2. toast the chocolate
   3. rinse the anchovies
   4. flambe the chocolate
   5. microwave the spoons of mayonnaise
   6. saute the chocolate
   7. blend with the spoons of mayonnaise (This is the best part.)
   8. bring the anchovies to the boil
   9. add one tablespoon of the spoons of mayonnaise
  10. sauté the sprigs of asparagus
  11. add one tablespoon of the anchovies
  12. fold in the sprigs of asparagus
  13. lightly fry the spoons of mayonnaise
  14. sprinkle the sprigs of asparagus over the top
  15. add one tablespoon of the chocolate
  16. defrost the red onions
  17. bake for 80 minutes and serve hot (I assume all together, which negates all the addings.)

The crazy part is, it sounds vaguely realistic.