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[Vexorg_the_Devourer]

I imagine the dwarves re-converting the liquids to solids through a mysterious process called 'reverse fermentation.'  I don't ever imagine it making any dang sense.

[Particleman]

I always figured they tasted like and had the texture of water chestnuts for some reason.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Taste and texture of a sour, incredibly overripe pear with musty highlights. In the mushroom is a little red seed that tastes absolutely horrible and looks like a cinnamon Altoid. It's always randomly distributed in the plump helmet, so when you're eating it you either tear it apart and make a huge mess to dig it out, or just take bites and spit the thing out convulsively when you find it.

Trying to keep the rest of your lunch down at the same time is a job for Dwarven Wine!

[Footkerchief]

In the mushroom is a little red seed that tastes absolutely horrible and looks like a cinnamon Altoid.

So it's basically a cinnamon Altoid, then.

[Grif]

Dunno why but I've always imagined them looking and tasting like porcini mushrooms.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boletus_edulis

[LeoLeonardoIII]

For me the real question is what Wine Biscuits taste like.

    *  2 cups flour
    * 1 Plump Helmet
    * 3/4 teaspoon salt (If available)
    * 2 tablespoon cat fat
    * 1 cup dwarven whine, frozen

Mince both the plump helmet and the whine.

In a large mixing bowl, combine flour, minced plump helmet, and salt. Using your fingertips, rub cat fat into dry ingredients until mixture looks like crumbs. (The faster the better, you don't want the fats to melt.) Make a well in the center and pour in the minced whine. Stir just until the dough comes together. The dough will be very sticky.

Turn dough onto floured surface, dust top with flour and fold dough over on itself 5 or 6 times. Press into a 1-inch thick round. Cut out biscuits with a 2-inch cutter, being sure to push straight down through the dough. Place biscuits on baking sheet so that they just touch. Reform scrap dough, working it as little as possible and continue cutting. (Biscuits from the second pass will not be quite as light as those from the first, but hey, that's dorf.)

Bake until biscuits are tall and light gold on top, 15 to 20 minutes.

Prepare to nom

On a glacier it's often cold enough that the complaints of a dwarf freeze solid as they escape his ale-chapped lips.

Then he tantrums.

[Sabre_Justice]

I figured they taste like mushroomy grapes.

With a mild poison that acts like alcohol.

[slink]

Plump Helmet Wine comes in a variety of flavors, like Scotch aged in various containers.

Plump Helmet Piscea: wine aged in Fish Barrels.  Exact flavor varies with locale, with a pungent aftertaste in the late season casks.

Plump Helmet Lipido: wine aged in Fat/Rendered Fat Barrels.  This wine slips down easily and goes right through you.  The Rendered Fat flavor has a stick-to-the-roof-of-your-mouth robustness.

Plump Helmet Caustica: wine aged in Lye Barrels.  Use it to entertain unexpected guests or relatives who stay more than three days.  Also comes in several Venom variants, for the really hard cases.

Plump Helmet Saccharine: wine aged in Dwarven Syrup Barrels.  A specialty for lovers, who can take turns ... well, you get my drift.

[Untelligent]

They taste like my cat.

[Aeltar]

I would imagine they taste like either muddy, sandy, or silty (whatever type of ground they were grown in) and slightly poop-scented mushrooms.  Not good-tasting.

[Mrhappyface]

I think it really bland, and starchy, with just the faintest hint of sweetness. Everyone hates it, but it's really popular in the production of many sorts of cooked foods. Like how the potato was to the Soviets.

[tommy521]

A necro, but I really don't mind because I'd like to share my opinion on such a topic:

I imagine they would be around the size of a large grapefruit, with a tough dark purple outer skin (like a grapefruit) but would taste somewhat like a red apple, so they would eat that. On the interior of the helmet would be a two fleshy sections, the outer one purple and tasting much like the exterior but sweeter, and would peel much like onions and it would less tough. The inner fleshy section would be a bright orange to reddish colour, stringy with a mushy consistency, and taste tangy like a dragon fruit, with a hint of pickled cucumber. At the center would be a dark red pit.

EDIT: Oh, and they would come in a classic mushroom shape, much like the Agaricus bisporus but with a longer stem

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Of course the pit is contrary to the spawn used ingame, but oh well

[Melissia]

I tastes like twelve parts badger,  two parts mushroom, five parts snake.

[Devstorm]

They taste like morel mushrooms, which I think probably resemble a plump helmet the most.

[Necro910]

I'd suspect they would taste like mushrooms, but x999 bland. They're underground mushrooms with no nutrients, I do not think they would taste very interesting.