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[ASCIt]

Like a wet sponge. A wet, purple sponge full of liquid Styrofoam.

[Nyxalinth]

Portabello mushrooms.

This.

[UristMcHuman]

As big as an apple, but is a mushroom, is purple, and has the tastes of apple, potato, strawberry, and Mountain Dew all mixed together in some small piece of dwarven agriculture.

IDK. As such crops do not exist in the real world (yet), I cannot tell. The above was a wild, wild guess.

[CapnUrist]

An old shoe covered in wet dog fur, garnished with used motor oil. No, not Castrol, I'm talking that cheap shit your dad bought once out at that shady steak-and-lube place out on Route Too-Far-Out-To-Be-Numbered.

[truckman1]

I sometimes imagine they taste like those mushrooms that come in chinese food, you know, the ones with the caps that don't go out much, and a thick stem. but they're huge and go up to almost the waist (Of a dwarf)

[nerdyboy321123]

Like the grapes made in wineries iin a year that had an unusually high amount of elf blood enter the soil

[Keuran]

I still think they taste like orthoclase.

[CaptainBadwheel]

Poverty.

[acetech09]

Really old thread, (the 13th from the oldest, to be exact) but one of the real b12 forum gems.

[Da Spadger]

Like an unusually juicy agaricus with a hint of pepper.

[Spacespinner]

Potatoy. Slightly off, gritty, possibly hairy potatoes.

boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew

[zehive]

Potatoy. Slightly off, gritty, possibly hairy potatoes.

boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew

ppptttb

[Angel Of Death]

Potatoy. Slightly off, gritty, possibly hairy potatoes.

boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew

PLUMP HEL-METS

PLUMP HEL-METS

Brew 'em, cook 'em, stick 'em in a roast

[Quantumtroll]

I always imagined that they tasted like a large edible purple mushroom.  The "Amethyst Deceiver" is the only edible purple mushroom that I am aware of, but the shape of the ASCII symbol, the name, and the range of dishes cooked with Plump Helmets suggests a shape that is similar to a large bolete of some kind.  An Amethyst Bolete, in other words.  It'd taste like a spicier, sweeter bolete. Very yummy! 

Hmm, ya know, there are lots of mushrooms that can be used to color e.g. yarn.  Maybe that ought to be modded in.  The pore layer of the relatively common porcini mushroom (the typical bolete) can be used to make a bright yellow, for example.  That'd be nice to have, no?

[Iren]

They taste like blood, insanity, despair and magma.